We're Losing This Server

[Carkle Jackson]

I'm not one to complain about the server. I'm a big believer that if you get more than you paid for then you should be satisfied. And since I don't pay for the server, I'm generally pretty happy here. But now I feel that I absolutely must speak out on an issue that I feel very strongly about. That's the destruction of classic zones to make way for new resort communities.

As a young teen, my parents often took me on summer boat trips to the Ocean of Tears. We would spend the week at the Sister Isle. The sun was always bright. I remember running barefoot up and down the beach. Exploring. Hunting for unusual shells. The wood Elf sisters there were very welcoming to visitors and it was always a lovely holiday.

One summer, I met a teen wood elf girl there who was also on holiday. We spent days roaming the island and holding hands. One day, we spread a red and white checkered blanket beneath a palm tree and enjoyed a picnic. After eating kiola nuts and drinking one too many elven wines, we made passionate love on that picnic blanket beneath the palm tree.

When our vacations were ending we promised that we would write. But as often happens with teen summer love affairs, we never did.

For the first time in my adult life, I made a trip to the Sister Isle on my own. When I disembarked from the boat, I immediately knew something was VERY DIFFERENT. There were tons of people standing on the dock all with their attention focused on one man wearing a suit in front of them. Curious, I decided to listen to figure out what was going on.

IT'S A TIMESHARE CONDO! They're putting in timeshare condos on the Sister Isle and all of these morons were there to invest. I was outraged. I'm still outraged as I share this with you. "What the hell?" I yelled. "You're going to pave paradise to put up a parking lot." Nobody would listen to me. All they care about is platinum pieces. Nobody cares that once the tranquility of Sister Isle is gone, it will be gone forever. I've heard that people on this server are greedy but I had no idea they could be this greedy!

In a panic, I ran down the beach and then up onto the dune. My heart sank and tears rolled down my cheeks in a torrent. The palm tree under which the elf girl and I made love many years ago is already gone. There's now a gaudy billboard with a barbarian man in a Speedo and an ogre woman in a string bikini announcing the new condo venture. "What happens on Sister Isle, stays on Sister Isle!"

I stole one of their pamphlets. I was horrified to learn that the developer (Freeport Investment Speculators, LLC.) has plans to build condos on Chessboard island in Timorous Deep, on an island in Lake Rathetear and the island in Dagnor's Cauldron!

THIS HAS TO BE STOPPED! I am calling on the devs and the community to put a stop to this! Think about what we're losing! We need to band together to protect the sanctity of the wild and beautiful places on this server!