"If I open source it, I feel I lose some of that free-ness I get from my personal projects. "
Did you not get the part where the entire open source software movement was about freedom? Just because you GPL (or whatever license) your code doesn't mean you can't take the project in whatever direction you want, it just means others can also take their own forks or whatever derivative different directions if they want also.
Either way, your project not mine, so who am I to say what to do with it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do with it ultimately.
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