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  #1  
Old 10-07-2023, 01:41 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
Smile WTS Atheist Survival kit

Kit includes the following,

Face mask
Vaccine
Crucifix
Rosemary Beads
Bible
Quran
Torah
Wooden Stake
Gun (with silver bullets)
CO2 Detector
Humanoid Statue
Fine art painting
Large Hadron Collider
Space rocket
Fireworks
Wedding ring
Divorce papers
Karaoke Machine
Speed limiter
DEF fluid
Emissions detector
Window bars
Electric car (max speed 35 MPH, max range 30 miles, 48 hours recharging)
Rainbow flag
Transgender flag
Feminist flag
Doctorate degree in women's studies/theology/etc (tell everybody you're a doctor!)
Sports clothing with number on back
Imagine.mp3 by John Lennon
Voting form
Health and Safety manual
Safety helmet
High vis jacket
Life insurance
US Constitution
Medical insurance
Car insurance
Pet insurance
Travel insurance
Up-to-date passport
Up-to-date driving license
Induction cooktop
Venetian blinds
Quorn burger
Fat transgender Barbie doll (limited special edition dark skinned version)
"Smart" phone with regular security updates
Lightsabre (plastic, made in china)
Burqa
Kippah
Napolen's hat (you will be a head turner wearing it)
Intel Celeron CPU (very efficient)
USB stick pre-loaded with latest Wikipedia data (USB stick is USB v3.3.2.4.5.11.2.11.56)
Medical testing kit (AIDS, diabetes, covid, etc)
Innacurate weight scales
Hand disinfectant (87.675% chance of killing 99.999% of all known germs)
Sex robot (with regular security updates)
Pr0n collection (grannies, homo, BBC, etc)
Coat hanger (to abort babies with)
Nuclear weapon (in a rocket obviously)
Dollars
Bitcoins
Calvin Klein underwear
Stella Mccartney dress (worth $50,000)
Gucci handbag (Worth $20,000)
500,000 Reddit karma
2 billion YouTube views
400 million Instagram followers
Silicon implants
Botox injections
Tattoo kit
Fire alarm (batteries not included)
Car seatbelt
Bottle of Viagra
Olivia Rodrigo CD (special limited edition version)
Barbie 2023 movie DVD (special limited edition version)
Bottle of Bud Lite
Dictionary
A copy of The Guardian newspaper
A copy of the Daily Mail newspaper
Violin
Box of tissues
Holocaust documentary on DVD (with commentary from people who were actually there)
Netflix subscription
A dinner date with George and Amal Clooney
Photograph of Ellen
Photograph of Oprah
Lottery ticket
Avengers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 DVD movie collection (all limited special edition versions)
Onesie
Unicorn plush toy
High IQ score card
Dildo
Vibrator
Buttplug
Onlyfans subscription (your choice of slut)
Bottle of milk (skimmed)
Bottle of pop (with artifical sweetner)
Loaf of brown bread (no crust)
Anti-virus software
Anti-malware software
Tutorial on AFK gaming
Aimbot hacks
Bill Burr DVD
Dave Chapelle DVD
Chris Rock DVD
Finger print scanner
Subscription to Science Monthly
Fire extinguisher
Plot of land on mars (worth $500,000,000)
Walking stick
Zimmer frame
Wheel chair
Coffin
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  #2  
Old 10-07-2023, 02:04 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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Price for kit is 2 x Mana Stone and 1 x Earth Staff MQ.

Don't let this opportunity slip through your hands.

Buy now before it's too late!
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  #3  
Old 10-07-2023, 02:19 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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If you buy within the next 48 hours I will throw in a free yoga mat.
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  #4  
Old 10-07-2023, 02:39 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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I'm getting lots of questions regarding the sports clothing included in the kit.

It's a limited edition oversized black sports jersey with a big fluorescent green number 1 on the back. The jersey has also got yellow vertical pin stripes. It's made in the Kingdom of China so it's very high quality.

Special announcement: If you buy the kit within the next 24 hours I will throw in a Harry Potter book free of charge (aswell as the yoga mat).
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  #5  
Old 10-07-2023, 02:42 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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Ask and ye shall receive.

Kit now includes Minecraft v4.65.2.1.5.6 (32GB of RAM and permanent 1GB internet connection required)
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  #6  
Old 10-07-2023, 02:35 AM
Evia Evia is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 2,128
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this is quite the enticing package for such a low low price
__________________

Kellian Cove (60 Wood Elf Rogue)
Parra Doxx (55 Barbarian Shaman)

“This man is using his mind as a weapon …and woe be tide the creature who
steps into his garden" -Finch

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  #7  
Old 10-07-2023, 04:16 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evia [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
this is quite the enticing package for such a low low price
Yes it is. And 20% of all profits go to the "Hope for AIDS" foundation.
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  #8  
Old 10-07-2023, 04:33 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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I forgot to mention the kit also includes a tombstone with your name engraved on it and the letters "RIP" (ROT IN PEACE).

It's very stylish and trendy in atheist society to rot in peace.

Don't delay, order today!
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  #9  
Old 10-07-2023, 04:56 AM
Gugg Gugg is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 229
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There's some good news and there's some bad news.

First the bad news...

The dinner date with George and Amal Clooney is off due to scheduling issues. George is currently filming Oceans 27.

Now the good news...

It's now a dinner date with Jay Z and Beyonce!

On this dinner date you will be the first to hear Beyonce's brand new single, "If I were a giraffe".

I'm under NDA but here's a sneak peak anyway.

Quote:
If I were a giraffe
Even just for a day
I'd have a long neck
And wear nothing at all
Eat leaves with the elephants
And chase after butterflies
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause I'd be 18 feet tall
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  #10  
Old 10-07-2023, 03:22 AM
Duik Duik is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Near the largest canyon in the world!
Posts: 1,374
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God you are an angry little man.
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