The prison guard story

[Agatha]

I once met a guy on red99, he admitted to me he was a prison guard. He really didn't like to talk about it but i love a good story. He said alot of things, how he didn't like his job but it paid the bills, and his wife doesn't want to stop popping out kids.

Anyways, on a deep dark rainy night we were talking about what exactly his job was within the prison, did he take count, did he work the guard towers, did he drive the inmates to court and back. what?

He wouldn't answer, i got this weird vibe that he was embarrassed to admit to what he actually did and he wouldn't answer for many weeks, until one time he told me he got in a fight with his wife and he got boozed up.

Perfect time to ease into what he did for work, so I start off with a "so how was work, any crazies" and his response was something bitter about his wife and i pressed on, "so what exactly do you do at work anyways".

And thats when he hit me with it, i never even considered this.


His soul job, is working prison intake, his one job is to strip the guys nude, have 8 of them bend over at a time max and inspect there buttholes while they cough.


he's been doing it for 8 years and he will be staring at other dudes buttholesfor another 12 years before he retires.

[Stalos_]

pretty sure they rotate. Need confirmation.

[Agatha]

nope, he said he fucked up epicly while on the job and didn't back up some bullshit another CO had made up to cover his ass.

from then on he was stuck at looking at buttholes.

[Slowride]

Meh, I do corrections for the Military.... Its not that big of a deal. Grow up.

[Slowride]

And yes we do rotate.

[derpcake]

At least the guy has a job though.

You ain't even qualified to stare at buttholes, lol.

[Greegon]

Originally Posted by derpcake [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

You ain't even qualified to stare at buttholes, lol.

zing

[derpcake]

I mean, are you really mocking a guy with a shitty job?

While being the guy that can't even get a shitty job, and advertises himself as '60 everything, with loads of time', and still not appreciated in any guilds?

Man I don't know who you talking about, but I respect them > you.

[pingpong]

Originally Posted by derpcake [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I mean, are you really mocking a guy with a shitty job?

While being the guy that can't even get a shitty job, and advertises himself as '60 everything, with loads of time', and still not appreciated in any guilds?

Man I don't know who you talking about, but I respect them > you.

[Troubled]

We're talking about Nocsucow, right?