The attacks on 9/11 were perpetrated by Phil Jackson and the Los Angeles Lakers. Phil Jackson, having won the 2001 NBA championship against the Philadelphia 76ers, looked into his crystal ball and foresaw the stirrings of a new dynasty in New Jersey.
Shaquille O'Neal called up his old friend, Iranian-born actor/anti-American terrorist spy-warlord Marshall Manesh from the cast of
Kazaam. Manesh used his intricate web of loyal Mujahideen to carry out an attack on the towers and pentagon. Flight 93 happening that day was merely a coincidence and that one was indeed Al-Qaeda.
By the time the 2002 NBA finals came around, everything was going according to Phil Jackson's plan-- until the Sacramento Kings, led by the honorable paladin Rick Adelman, penetrated Phil Jackson's web of spies and henchmen and pushed the Lakers to 3-2 series advantage in the NBA finals. Phil Jackson was forced to use one of his referee ninja spies to throw the game in the Lakers' favor, and he was almost caught by Ralph Nader who, after 9/11, was on Phil Jackson's trail.
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Originally Posted by Wikipedia
With their season on the line, the Lakers returned home for Game 6. In a controversial contest, one in which the Lakers attempted 27 free throws in the fourth quarter to Sacramento's 9, O'Neal had one of the most dominant performances of his career with 41 points and 17 rebounds to force a Game 7 in ARCO Arena.[29] The outrage was as such that politician Ralph Nader demanded an investigation.[30] The Lakers prevailed in overtime 112–106 to earn their third straight NBA Finals berth.[7]
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When the Lakers finally met New Jersey in glorious combat, they found a team demoralized by the attacks, and the Lakers swept New Jersey and claimed the 2002 championship. Phil Jackson thus won his ninth and final championship ring of power, solidifying his control over the prime lord of the Nazgul, Kobe Bryant. Jackson and the ring wraiths went on to win many more championships until finally retiring and stating he does not "intend" to coach again. Jackson used the word "intend" because when Jackson dies, his unholy husk will rise from the grave and, enslaved by the power of the rings, will once again coach the teams of men.
01-12-2013, 06:03 AM
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