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#1
09-02-2016, 05:06 PM
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Points to ponder...
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station…
I must always remember that I'm unique, just like everyone else. Can atheists get insurance acts of God? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's race, he gets mad at you? But when you take him out in the car, he sticks his head out the window! If FEDEX and UPS were to merge, would the call it FED UP? Does fuzzy logic tickle If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with a battery? I think that everyone has a photographic memory; it's just that some of us don't have film. I believe that five out of four people have trouble with fractions. How come you never hear about gruntled employees? I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. How much deeper would oceans be without sponges? If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what exactly is a fog horn made of? If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from? Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? Is the hardness of the butter proportional to the softness of the bread? I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company? What hair color do they put on driver's license of a bald man? What was the best thing before sliced bread? When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? Why is the word abbreviation so long. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How is it possible to have a civil war? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If God dropped acid, would he see people? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Is a castrated pig disgruntled? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? What happens when none of your bees wax? Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?" When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be removed? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? What was the best thing before sliced bread? I grew a bird out of bird seed, what do I feed it? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a-day, 365 days a-year, why are there locks on the doors? Why are they called "apartments" if they're all stuck together? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? If someone says "I'm lying" are they really? If a company ships by sea, it's called "cargo." If they ship by car or truck, it's called "shipment." How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? How is it that a building burns up as it burns down? If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? My often beings to tell me I am a bit silly. She does this ,while slowing taking her enlarged firm hand and touching my scalp. I really like it when my mommy rubs my head. It makes me feel better when I am alone. Sometimes I enjoy playing Jinga with my neighbor ,he often lets me go first , but this time he didn't!!! So I knocked over all the Jinga pieces and begin to throw them at him. I couldn't stop and Jacob proceeded to run. I then made sure he wouldn't get away and grabbed a broom. I quickly threw my brew as if it were a Javelin being thrown for the Olympics. With a crash and a boom Jacob fell , as the broom struck him in the head. I am crying now... and I hurt so much.... Mom isn't home yet , but dad is still on the pot , he tells me... I think I'll go play checkers. Maybe Jacob will come play too when he wakes up from his blunders. | ||
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#2
09-02-2016, 05:24 PM
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Fun read ^^ lol'd a few times ^^ I didn't understand the finale though ;n;
__________________
<Millenial Snowfkake Utopia>
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#3
09-02-2016, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
__________________
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#8
09-04-2016, 10:28 PM
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I found a pokemon in your moms house op.
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