Dunedigger.
Dear diary,
Day seven and three armadillo hides later I've discovered that athletic socks (such as Champion tube socks) are not the ideal sock to poop in. The fuzzy inside may work well for sweat when someone is physically active (ha ha, I run ALL over Norrath), but disallows for the pasty poop from the last drinking binge sitting online to properly slide into the sock. No one seemed to care that I was mentioning how wasted I was online every 2 minutes. Maybe tonight I'll pretend I'm stoned. That's what all of the COOL EverQuest people do, right? When I awoke this morning, I went outside. Yeah, it was bad! Not only was it day time, but the sun burned my retinas a little, and my supple skin is now black like my emo heart. Perhaps when my skin starts to peel, I'll understand Michael Jackson a little better in life. When I finally got over the initial shock of an environment all too foreign, and my lungs adjusted to moving air, I adventured off to the bus station only to realize I had to go home and get bus money from mom. Finally, I arrive at REI and find some socks that are made of a blend of wool and lycra that will work much better. Gosh they were expensive, like nine bucks! Thanks for the credit card mom! I don't know how I'd survive outside of the basement without it. The wool absorbs most of the liquid out of the stool and provides many uses with a quick rinse. It also doubles as a new pair of socks for porn and my weekly sponge bath. Perhaps kevlar reinforced socks would be even more beneficial when I stuff my face with Doritos, Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets when the bat phone goes off; I think I need to write a letter to 3M. I also purchased a helmet while I was there to prevent any further trauma to my skull when a place holder spawns. I'm running dangerously low on Ritalin, and Prozac and I may be forced to break into the Pez collection to make it another day. Nacho time! Have to hurry though, the microwave disconnects the neighbor's wifi I'm stealing and Dunedigger MIGHT SPAWN! Tomorrow I might go to WalMart and get a microphone to talk on Vent about how I could kick your ass in real life because I have a black belt in Fujitsu! I've been taking lessons from Abacabb, so I could definitely kick your ass! I'm a pro!
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08-13-2010, 11:40 PM
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