Spell files out of date, electric boogaloo edition

[Juukak]

All right, I swear I've read the appropriate materials, used every program, used every link, that naked human will not stop taunting me.

No, I have no virus scanners that might interfere with the .DLL file.

Yes, I have the current version of the red99 patchfiles.

Yes, all software updates available are done for drivers etc for my hardware.

No duplicate files exist that may interfere with normal operation.

My buds with working games actually MAILED me a thumb drive with a correct copied configuration that yields exactly the same result.

As referenced by one user in multiple threads I even tried absolutely pounding the ass-end of this mother with login attempts to see if quantity was better than quality, with equal amounts of impotency.