Evil, evil 1017, Perplexed! Help!

[Zaimor]

I'll try to keep this short and sweet; I've read everything I can find on the infamous 1017 error and nothing is working for me.

Facts:
2 laptops. Both Dell 65xx series, both Windows 8, both Avast AV, both with windows firewall modifications allowing everything in and out from eqgame.exe and everquest.exe.
No active firewalls on any local devices.
Fresh EQ:Titanium installs from the same source, in the same manner.
EQ:T install > Modify eqhost.txt file > Run eqemulator from EQ directory, single CPU.
Laptop 1, using a [crappy] cellular connection, works great.
Laptop 2, using a ~1Mb satellite connection, works great, until clicking "Play Everquest" at server select. Kicked back to login every time and then a 1017.
I've tried reinstalling multiple times, deleting the sony directory each time prior to reinstall, and rebooting.
Laptop 1 runs 500-1000ms ping times.
Laptop 2 runs 1000-1500ms ping times. (I've played WoW and EQ2 with >2000ms pings, albiet not great, so this is not the issue)
Drivers are up to date, not getting any other errors.
I can successfully ping and traceroute all the way through to the p99 worldserver and the zone servers, and eqemulator has no problem patching the files for p99.

My only remaining suspicion is that my IP is banned for some reason. Is there a way to verify that this is or is not the issue? And does anyone have any other suggestions? This is driving me batsh*t crazy.

Thanks all in advance for your assistance! I was an avid EQ player back in the day (Citizen of Rathe, Guide of Ayonae Ro) and am excited to hear about P99. I stopped playing partially because of availability, and partially because with 20+ expansions, EQLive is just too busy, complicated, and overrun. I'm looking forward to some classic EQing!