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pepper
09-15-2011, 12:18 AM
The purpose of this letter is to outline a plan to redefine in practical terms the immutable ideals that have guided us from the beginning. But first, let me pose you a question: Is Hasbinbad actually concerned about any of us or does he just want to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria? After reading this letter, you'll sincerely find it's the latter. He may unwittingly require schoolchildren to be taught that he is entitled to lead an inhumane jihad against those who oppose him. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology—a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why there is historical precedent for Hasbinbad's sermons. Specifically, for as far back as I can remember, he has been making people suspicious of those who speak the truth. Given how one flippant activity always leads to another, it should come as no surprise that Hasbinbad is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead.

Continue to appease Hasbinbad, and he will undeniably hurt people's feelings. He argues that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: He's obviously under the influence of LSD or some other hallucinogenic. Why else would Hasbinbad feel that he is God's representative on Earth?

Although Hasbinbad babbles on and on about elitism, he has no more conception of it than any other bad-tempered, shameless egotist. I can't understand why he has to be so narrow-minded. Maybe a dybbuk has taken up residence inside his head and is making him incite young people to copulate early, often, and indiscriminately. It's a bit more likely, however, that he makes it sound like commercialism is the only alternative to onanism. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that Hasbinbad is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, his willingness to cement the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land sets a new record for brazenness.

Yes, Hasbinbad has no right to be here, but here is the point that is worth considering: He likes to argue that his campaigns are intelligent, commonsensical, and entirely consonant with the views of ordinary people. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that every time Hasbinbad utters or writes a statement that supports faddism—even indirectly—it sends a message that Hasbinbad has answers to everything. I think that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because he doesn't care about accountability in our public systems, but primarily because he acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.

Perhaps you haven't noticed that this is sufficiently illustrated by the ridicule with which Hasbinbad's canards are treated by everyone other than soulless underachievers. Perhaps you haven't noticed that his ideals are a sink-pit of degeneracy, corruption, and ugliness. And perhaps you haven't noticed that we should treat Hasbinbad's putrid Praetorian Guard for what it is, a noisome group of unpleasant, irresponsible extremists. In response to all three of those possibilities, I need to inform you that those of us whose reason and honor have not been vitiated recognize that an unholy alliance of unenlightened rubes and the worst types of unrealistic vagabonds there are has been instrumental in devising increasingly sinister ways to make us less united, less moral, less sensitive, less engaged, and more perversely nettlesome. But the problems with his perorations don't end there. For proof of this ongoing tragedy one has only to realize that Hasbinbad has for a long time been arguing that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. Had he instead been arguing that the essence of lying is in deception, not in words, I might cede him his point. As it stands, the leap of faith required to bridge the logical gap in Hasbinbad's arguments is simply too terrifying for me to contemplate. What I do often contemplate, however, is how the really interesting thing about all this is not that he is a pitiful specimen of an unprofessional sad sack. The interesting thing is that his legatees all look like him, think like him, act like him, and pander to our worst fears, just like Hasbinbad does. And all this in the name of—let me see if I can get their propaganda straight—brotherhood and service. Ha! Finally, any one of the points I made in this letter could be turned into a complete research paper, but the conclusion of each would be the same: Hasbinbad has gone around the bend with his paranoia.

Dirt McGirt
09-15-2011, 12:21 AM
good thread

Tumdumm
09-15-2011, 12:23 AM
what kinda pepper, like goya pepper?

Diggles
09-15-2011, 12:24 AM
doctor pepper?

young doctor pepper, perhaps?

Ennoia
09-15-2011, 12:40 AM
Nah, it's gotta be those Indian ghost peppers they use for tear gas, because this kid is just doing a lot of crying.

Envious
09-15-2011, 12:48 AM
Someone sum it up, and PM it to me, cause its very likely I will never read this thread again.

Mardur
09-15-2011, 12:51 AM
posting in epic thread.

Doors
09-15-2011, 01:19 AM
Mardur wears gay sunglasses.

Flavor
09-15-2011, 01:39 AM
Shift + F7

bluejam
09-15-2011, 04:45 AM
Why do people continue to post walls of text in RNF? Are you that bored? :rolleyes:

TL;DR

mitic
09-15-2011, 04:59 AM
a new generation of r&f trolls is born

Zereh
09-15-2011, 05:40 AM
+1

because you made me look up a word: perorations

Drem
09-15-2011, 06:54 AM
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/peroration

Anger
09-15-2011, 10:02 AM
Yes, Hasbinbad has no right to be here...

Everyone has a right to be here, even random forum trolls like yourself!

Hail, 0 post count.

guineapig
09-15-2011, 11:55 AM
All that work and you screw up the title...

Barkingturtle
09-15-2011, 12:14 PM
All that work and you screw up the title...

It's not a ton of work to plug "Hasbinbad" into a random complaint generator, really. I mean, obviously more work than it takes to omit a letter but still, very little effort.

Hasbinbad
09-16-2011, 01:17 PM
complaint generator

jarshale
09-17-2011, 02:25 AM
I am not short on words, so please bear with the length of this letter. First and foremost, Hasbinbad's pouty attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Hasbinbad, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that I see how important Hasbinbad's disgraceful, tactless hijinks are to its faithfuls and I laugh. I laugh because if you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, find that some of Hasbinbad's choices of words in its crusades would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted "brain-damaged" for "ultraphotomicrograph" and "meddlesome" for "phoneticogrammatical." The truth hurts, doesn't it, Hasbinbad? I had a conversation recently with some unprincipled prevaricators who were trying to intensify race hatred. That conversation convinced me that Hasbinbad is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead.

Hasbinbad's worshippers employ carefully developed psychological techniques to influence the attitudes of dominant culture towards any environment or activity that is predominantly cacodemonic. In reaching that conclusion, I have made the usual assumption that I certainly have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Hasbinbad guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community. Hasbinbad has declared that it's staging a revolt against everyone who wants to institute change. Hasbinbad's revolting all right; the very sight of it turns my stomach. All kidding aside, if you looked up "venom-spouting-to-the-core" in the dictionary, you'd probably see its logo. I call this phenomenon "Hasbinbad-ism". The same might be said of irrational, mischievous pillocks. The problem is, if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that Hasbinbad thinks it's good that its convictions weaken family ties. It is difficult to know how to respond to such monumentally misplaced values, but let's try this: I plan to hinder the power of asinine insurrectionists like it. This is a choice I have made; your choice is up to you. But let me remind you that Hasbinbad insists that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. Sorry, Hasbinbad, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." I'm sorry if I've gotten a little off track here, but if I were a complete sap, I'd believe Hasbinbad's line that statism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. Unfortunately for it, I realize that Hasbinbad's callow game of chess -- the ultra-uppity chess of cynicism -- has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this malodorous pickpocket and show it that its apparatchiks are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Hasbinbad, who wants nothing less than to canonize fatuitous fast-buck artists as nomological emblems of propriety.

Hasbinbad is utterly dotty. We all are, to some extent, but it sets the curve. As I've said in the past, Hasbinbad's sympathizers insist that Hasbinbad can achieve its goals by friendly and moral conduct. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because every time Hasbinbad tries, it gets increasingly successful in its attempts to force some to live by restrictive standards not applicable to others. This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought, but for imagination as well. We must inculcate in the reader an inquisitive spirit and a skepticism about beliefs that Hasbinbad's trained seals take for granted. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to make Hasbinbad answer for its wrongdoings. I close this letter along the same lines it opened on: Hasbinbad plants false evidence to incriminate its adversaries.

mitic
09-17-2011, 04:16 AM
now i remember, there is a site with this generated text. all you need is to fill in names... i just cant find it rite now

Diggles
09-17-2011, 05:25 AM
google.com

search "complaint generator"

first result.

was that so hard mitic

Autotune
09-17-2011, 05:27 AM
google.com

search "complaint generator"

first result.

was that so hard mitic

lmgtfy.com

shouldan dun it