You know you're a nothingburger when...

[Gugg]

You're always hoping, wishing, praying....and telling others to do the same.

You're always offering unrequested life advice, and it's always the bleeding obvious.

You're always telling people what you want for them; "I want you to be happy!".

You say you believe in science yet you never provide any scientific evidence.

You tell people that truth/love/beauty/etc (anything positive) can be whatever you want it to be. And yet, hate isn't subjective to you at all, it's objective (how convenient). Pro-tip: don't be an electrician if you think positive can be anything you want it to be or you will get the shock of your life!

You debate the truth (duh!).

You quote unverifiable surveys, stats and polls you saw/heard on the internet/tv/radio.

You repeat what you read on wikipedia to everybody you meet like it's fact; to you, a URL is proof of everything you say.

You tell people you deserve what you have because you "worked hard" for it (the definition of "working hard" is objective to you even though truth isn't...).

You carry a big dumb "smart" phone around with you everywhere you go like you're a business man waiting for important business calls from a factory in China.

You're always running to a power outlet to plug things in to charge them up; watch, phone, car, vibrator. Talking of watches, you have a big, stupid square iPhone watch on your wrist which very recently cost you $1000 and is now out-of-date.

You label yourself with imaginery identities; feminist, atheist, muslim, christian, transgender, non-binary etc.

You tell people not to get involved and instead wait 3 hours for the government funded "experts" to arrive on the scene.

You call people racist, anti-semitic, homophobic, misogynist, etc. because you obviously have spidey sense and your Judge Dredd.

You're nosey.

You fly a drone spying on people and expect it not to get shot down.

You're a gossip.

You bad mouth choice because choice means people can reject death and choose life.

You carry a bottle of water around with you like your a celebritry sports athlete who's just run the 3000 metres in record time.

You're obsessed with them even though all the best records have already been broken so all you have left is dumb made up ones that don't matter; "Woman becomes first person to run 100 metres in 30 seconds with a banana on her head".

Everything is "historic" and "iconic" to you.

You say it's a "human accomplishment" when a man does something amazing, and a "female accomplishment" when a woman does something amazing.

You say that everybody watched what you watched....like a sporting event....or an awards ceremony...when they didn't.

You talk about something going "viral"; a stupid video for example.

You say Jay Z and Beyonce are the perfect couple.

You talk about being a good role model or somebody being a bad role model.

Your job title is TickTock star, runner, influencer, comedian, singer, futurologist, boxer, activist (not real jobs)

You're an eavesdropper, and a name dropper.

You say "life is not meant to be fair" then blub when something's not fair to you (it is meant to be fair btw).

You say there's no such thing as wrong, until somebody wrongs you, then there is such a thing as wrong.

You communicate exclusively with meme's and disregard anything that isn't a meme.

You say Richard Dawkins is a genius and your hero (and you do impressions of him which makes you look like a stupid baby).

You collect reddit karma.

You rush home to watch the "nightly news" on TV (which is all bad news btw) and you regularly check the news updates so you can be up-to-date and "informed" on depressing matters which don't concern you and you have no control over.

You repeat all the bad news parrot fashion with everybody you meet like you're a TV or a radio.

You talk about world events like you're actually there in person reporting live as it happens all around you....but you're really in Toledo Ohio eating your 5th taco.

You copy and paste news links like you are an unpaid employee of the mass media.

You bad mouth privacy; you say "if you haven't done anything wrong you've got nothing to hide". And yet, you hide things...

You don't offer anybody any real solutions instead you just tell them to "seek help" or copy/paste a link to a therapy web site.

You "worship Jesus" in front of others and talk about your "faith" which you say should be respected.

You're not God, yet you talk on behalf of God.

You call people "holocaust deniers".

You promote personal truths, instead of the truth.

You tell people to vote.

You defend government, business and democracy which are all enemies of the people.

You tell people not to be ashamed to admit things to people; mental health problems or homosexuality are the obvious ones. "Hey dude, just admit you're a home and mental and people will love you for it!11"

You call yourself and others "brave".

You don't lead any example.

Yoy flatter people.

You're a 60 pound girl flexing your little puny arms with a dumb obnoxious grin on your face, then complain respecting you because you're a woman.

You, as a woman, speak on behalf of all women, to win some bullshit argument (it's okay though, because smart women know what you're up to!).

You talk about empowerment; empowering women and self-empowerment.

You promote self-love.

You call yourself self-made, and thank yourself.

You call yourself a philanthropist, and publicise your charity work (want a cookie?)

You have your own wikipedia page that's made to look independent but isn't.

You read The Guardian.

You are in favour of the European Union.

You call anybody, who says that certain things in life should be fre, communists (while you blatantly inhale free oxygen).

You talk about things which can't be seen/heard/touched/verified; distant past/distant future/distant place (evolution, black slavery, covid, moon landings/etc).

You promote meaningless symbols some of which are status symbols; flags, wedding rings, face masks, and crucifixes.

You promote isms; capitalism, liberalism, racism.

You tell people that if something is rare then it has tremendous value.

You tell people that a girl's best friend is a rock instead of a cock.

You have a dildo and/or a vibrator.

You use words and phrases like "incel", "woke", "social distancing", and "virtue signalling".

You call people "baby boomers" and "GenZ" etc.

You say "Ok Boomer".

You bad mouth men, just because they are men.

You call girls with blonde hair dumb just because they have blonde hair.

You tell people that money makes you happy, and you say that the only people who would disagree are the ones who don't have any money.

You tell people that if they don't work for you, or somebody like you, then they don't deserve anything in life.

You mislabel things; gay instead of bent, pro-choice instead of pro-death.

You're obsessed with spectator sports; you wear sports clothing like it's a religion and you start dancing when "your" team finally wins the 100 metre 3 legged spoon race (you don't even like sports, but it's trendy and "popular" to say you do).

You defend celebrities and act like their personal press officer.

You're impressed by tricks....like somebody balancing a ball on their head...or an elephant eating.

You are worried about Britney Spears, and you want to know who Taylor Swift is dating next (you hope it's a black dude, or that she comes out as lesbian).

You say drugs should be banned.

You say that a man wearing lipstick is a legit woman.

You have tattoos, really bad ones with political messages ad motivators.

You have fake boobs.

Elon Musk is your hero, of course he is.

You own a Tesla, or want to, and you want that retarded Tesla pickup truck too.

You tweet.

You're a scaremonger/fearmonger.

You complain, while telling people not to complain.

You bad mouth Windows 7, traditional pickup trucks, car bench seats, propane ovens and fridges; you tell people they are all unsafe/dangerous to use.

You promote and defend emissions tests and emission controls using the health of the planet as an excuse.

You predict the future, and it's always a bad future you predict.

You talk about "the law" like it's official or something and that breaking it is sinful/immoral.

You're always saying the human race is gonna be extinct soon or is destined to become extinct.

You say nobody created the moon and you say "we" landed on it.

You say "I did it" when it's good, and "we did it" when it's bad.

You say there is no bigger picture, that this is all there is to life, and that we should enjoy every precious second of it before we die forever.

You talk in an imaginary way; you call yourself "born again" and you say you "came out of the closet" but it's still the same old you (I keep clothes in my closet btw).

You say online piracy costs industry jobs, raises prices and is stealing.

You promote vaccines and ask people if they've been vaccinated ('cause you're evil therefore nosey).

You are waging a war on everything; terrorists, drugs, sugary drinks, fatty foods, bad hairdo's, pretty girls, and yet none of your wars seems to achieve anything.

You pick a side, and try to force others to pick a side too; Xbox vs Playstation, Ogre vs Troll, Coke vs Pepsi.....as though there's only one choice to choose.

You promote min/max to the point of cheating.

You demote individuals to single colours; white/black/brown/etc. and of course you're anti-white and anti-blonde.

You say beauty is an abstract concept.

You're a forum mod/admin who locks forum threads so nobody else can respond, resulting in ignorant/stupid responses when you search Google for answers.

You flip flop on big subjects like "sexual orientation"; one day you're totally against homosexuality, the next you've seen the light and you're all for it. It's a miracle!

Talking of miracles, you say you believe in them.

You say you evolve, and you say humans are smarter now than ever before.

You say "They wouldn't get away with that nowadays!" after watching an old television show or something.

You own an invisible time machine and crystal ball which you use all the time in general conversation.

You speak on behalf of "most people" either because you're a mind reader or you just like to project your fragile self onto others; "most people don't like this, most people don't do that, most people hate it, most people love it, most people agree with me".

Sometimes you defend the "majority", sometimes you defend the "minority"....whatever suits you at the time to "win".

You tell people that staying alive forever is impossible and stupid/boring (but staying dead forever isn't).

You tell people that everybody dies no matter what even though you can't prove death is even real.

You say private stuff in public, you do private stuff in public.

You defend mandatory updates, reboots, etc. (my computer my choice?)

You own a Mac or an iPhone and Steve Jobs is another one of your hero's.

You say "my body my choice", then you try to stab everybody with a syringe full of poison before going back to saying "my body my choice".

You have a really bad long-term memory because you contradict yourself all the time.

You're a walking, talking encyclopedia.

You have an american flag in your yard.

You tell people you can't wait until sex robots are as good as the real thing (so you'll be waiting forever).

You wear a silly hat; kippah for example. You also admire Napolean Bonaparte.

You take selfies and upload them to social media platforms.

You're a prick tease.

You say "motherf*cker".

You say "n*gger".

You say things are "toxic" or people are "toxic" or he is "toxic"...everything is "toxic"...'cause it's a trendy word said by trendy people and you're a copycat clone.

You say "cisgender" too, same reason.

You have a degree in women's studies and/or social studies...a degree in nothing.

You tell people you had/have a rare disease/medical condition.

You tell people you were an orphan/adopted.

You tell people you had a heart/liver/kidney transplant.

You tell people you have cancer.

You tell people you can't wait to have children.

You tell people your children died.

You say "black lives matter".

You make mountains out of molehills.

You tell people you were raped/abused.

You say you're an atheist (you won't provide any proof, scientitic or otherwise) yet you still blame everybody else for everything when there's nobody to blame if there is no god.

You say you believe in god but you don't blame your god for anything, instead you blame satan or hillary clinton.

You tell people you have PRIDE and to be PROUD.

You have a rainbow flag.

You put your hand on your chest while singing "your" national anthem. Or, you kneel. Either way, it's really, really dumb.

You say "our" president and "my" president".

You protest in the streets.

You daydream about winning the lottery.

You're a comedian.

You tell people what to do, even when you don't have their permission and they didn't agree to obey your bullshit rules.

You play EQ AFK because you're at work.

You petition a GM instead of just using /ignore.

You beg for lots of things including nerfs.

You're in a position of authority yet you abuse your powers.

You say you have 400 million online followers, who are all eagerly watching you play video games on Twitch.

You constantly "move the goalposts" instead of sticking with actual facts.

You talk for the sake of it.

You're a 60 pound girl who takes up martial arts lessons (and posts photo's and videos of it online) so you can defend yourself on the streets against a gang of armed men or an out of control dump truck. Why? Cause it's trendy to do martial arts (or pretend to).

You're a copy cat so you follow trends; "ice bucket challenge", dying your hair pink/blue, telling everybody you have covid to name a few examples.

You watch women's sports (or pretend to).

You say there should also be Gamegirl's and Snowwomen not just Gameboy's and Snowmen.

You say fox hunting and bull fighting is okay.

You're boycotting Bud Light instead of the company.

You're rich in a poor world.

You wear Gucci.

You want to ban everything that has value; combustion engines for example.

You put unnoficial STOP signs where they aren't needed and you actually expect people to stop for them because you say it's "the law".

You drive an electric pickup truck which has a 12" touch screen.

You watch The View and Oprah.

You drink soy milk instead of dairy milk.

You charge people to look at a canyon or a forest.

You protect old ruins, and demolish beautiful historic buildings.

You amalgamate couples; Brangelina, Kimye, Hiddleswift.

You say "gun violence" and "domestic violence" instead of just saying violence.

You make-up, then break-up, then make-up, then break-up.

You have six televisions in your recreational vehicle so you can watch the news and the "game" every minute from multiple angles while camping.

You are confused when you learn that not everybody has a fast, dependable internet connection like you do (because you have your head up your ass 99.99999% of the time).

You mock the poor for being poor in a poor world. Well guess what einstein, you're poor too.

You say "We don't need God" while playing god.

You hype things up and exaggerate.

You abandon your own creations and those who value them.

You say "It's always been like this and things will never change for the better!!111".

You're a captain obvious; you say, "Follow your dreams" and "Be Happy" but you never say how because you're a nothingburger, remember?

You either say "someday is today!" when it isn't...it's just another crappy day. Or you say "someday doesn't exist!" so we've got nothing but crappy days to look forward to forever. Or you say "someday exists but you, and everybody else, must die a horrible death first!".

You wear t-shirts with political messages like you're a billboard for a political party.

You say you have hope for AIDS.

You avoid the number 13 or use the number 13 because you say you're superstitious.

You say you believe in ghosts.

You take EverQuest too seriously.

You point to people behind their back and say, "he's gay" or "she's a lesbian" or "they are having an affair".

You have zillions of forum posts on a crappy forum.

You say there are no consequences.

And last but not least...

You know you're a nothingburger when you write a post like this because you have nothing better to do in "life". :D :( :D

[Origen]

Please seek the services of a mental health professional

[wuanahto]

i read the first few lines and the spoiler but that was it

[Rager and Quitter]

What the fuck. I ain't reading all that.

[aussenseiter]

You're always telling people what you want for them; "I want you to be happy!".

You repeat what you read on wikipedia to everybody you meet like it's fact; to you, a URL is proof of everything you say.


But Gugg, I do want you to be happy. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Wong_Kim_Ark)

[arvidez]

made it half way through that. now everyone's letters look tiny.

[unsunghero]

A soon to be relic of the past: a post that long that’s not written by AI

At least doesn’t appear to be

[zelld52]

A soon to be relic of the past: a post that long that’s not written by AI

At least doesn’t appear to be

In the sprawling world of Norrath, where countless adventurers sought glory and fortune, there lived a player named Ethan who had achieved a rare feat on the Project 1999 server of EverQuest. He had not one, not two, but ten level 60 characters, each with their unique abilities and equipment. To the uninitiated, it might seem like a remarkable accomplishment, but to those who knew Ethan, it was a testament to his unwavering dedication to the game.

Ethan's journey in Norrath began over a decade ago when he first stepped into the virtual realm of Project 1999. He had always been a passionate gamer, but EverQuest had a special place in his heart. The game's immersive world and complex gameplay mechanics drew him in like a moth to a flame. He spent countless hours exploring dungeons, battling monsters, and forging friendships with other players. EverQuest was more than just a game; it was his sanctuary.

As the years passed, Ethan's characters grew in power and reputation. He was a master tactician, leading raiding parties into the darkest corners of Norrath. His guildmates admired his skill and his unwavering commitment to the game. But what they didn't see was the toll it was taking on his real life.

Ethan had a demanding job and responsibilities outside the game, but those seemed to pale in comparison to his virtual life. He sacrificed sleep, social interactions, and even his own mental health to maintain his status in the game. The constant pressure to stay at the top of his game and ensure his characters were geared to perfection consumed him.

One day, Ethan's real-life friend, Sarah, grew increasingly concerned about him. She had watched him transform from a vibrant, social individual into a recluse who spent every waking hour in front of his computer screen. She decided to intervene, worried about his well-being.

Sarah invited Ethan over to her apartment, hoping to have a heart-to-heart conversation. When he arrived, she noticed how tired and gaunt he looked. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had the pallor of someone who hadn't seen the sun in weeks. She gently broached the topic, expressing her concern for his health and happiness.

Ethan, initially defensive, slowly opened up to Sarah. He admitted that he had lost track of time and that EverQuest had become an addiction. He confessed that he felt a deep sense of accomplishment in the game, but it came at the cost of his real-life relationships, physical health, and mental well-being.

Sarah, being a supportive friend, encouraged Ethan to seek help. She helped him find a therapist who specialized in gaming addiction. It was a difficult journey, but with time and therapy, Ethan started to regain control over his life. He began setting boundaries for his gaming time, prioritizing his job, and rebuilding his relationships with friends and family.

As the days turned into weeks, Ethan logged into EverQuest less frequently, but he didn't quit altogether. He found a healthier balance between his virtual and real-life responsibilities. His characters still held a special place in his heart, but he no longer valued them more than his own mental health.

Ethan's story served as a cautionary tale to others in the gaming community. It highlighted the importance of moderation and balance in the pursuit of one's passions. In the end, he discovered that real-life achievements and happiness were far more valuable than any virtual accolades. And in the world of Norrath, his characters continued their adventures, waiting patiently for the return of their fearless leader, who was now better equipped to conquer both the virtual and real worlds.

[wuanahto]

to be honest with yall i thought marsalago was a person up until earlier this year

[Gugg]

Please seek the services of a mental health professional

Will you pay for it?

[magnetaress]

Gugg is a miracle! ✨🌠

[Origen]

Will you pay for it?No, I can not.

[Arvan]

Please seek the services of a mental health professional

[Gugg]

Bonus Additions

You know you're a nothingburger when...

You tell people to "lay off the drugs".

You waste server resources by going permanently AFK in a shared environment.

You tell people that crypto-currencies are the future (see below).

You collect Bitcoins, and say "HODL" and "To the moon".

You tell your children you can't wait to die to be with Jesus instead of them.

You're a woman who wears Calvin Klein underwear.

You're a woman who doesn't shave her under arms or legs and then walks around showing them off.

You talk about "social constructs"; for example you say "women wearing make-up is a social construct" and "beauty is a social construct".

You tell people you were conditioned as a young girl to play with dolls.

You want to be paid the same for doing less.

You tell people that tinned Walmart food is better than homemade food (see below).

You're a dirty deceitful shill.

You tell people that nothing is real.

You ban people and give vague and slanderous reasons for why; "Banned for: misogynist" (wit and satire is obviously lost on you, and so is truth).

You watch Marvel "superhero" movies and you can't wait for Avengers 37.

You're saving the planet.

You talk about "slut shaming" and "body shaming".

You are an actor who fake cries for a living, then expects sympathy when you cry for "real" (no names, Amber Heard).

You tell people that white girls don't have nice big butts like black girls (you're either blind or stupid...same thing really).

You said Obama was the answer (come on man).

You say Trump is the answer.

You tell people you want to go to space and do an all female space walk doggy paddle (you don't really because it's dangerous and you're spineless).

You paid $5000 for Stella McCartney sneakers and wear them in public.

You tell everybody you want to go back to the 80's because it was so "magical".

You have a bucket list.

You say aliens built the Egyptian pyramids and that they have some kind of special significance, when it's just a crumbling ruin in the sand with no utility value whatsoeve (a complete waste of good materials actually).

Edits

You don't lead by example.

You're a 60 pound girl flexing your little puny arms with a dumb obnoxious grin on your face, then complain nobody respects you "because you're a woman" (it's because you're being a jerk actually).

[Duik]

It's people like Gugg that make the mentally ill (most of us) feel better about themselves.

[Gugg]

It's people like Gugg that make the mentally ill (most of us) feel better about themselves.

https://i.ibb.co/zFxTy8c/duik.jpg

[Gugg]

You know you're a nothingburger...

When you tell people that pizza is "expensive cheese on toast".

[magnetaress]

It's people like Gugg that make the mentally ill (most of us) feel better about themselves.

Like I said! Miracle!

[Gugg]

dGEk2VI_m_U

[Swish]

https://media.tenor.com/VG9YfpC7_mMAAAAd/talking-to-the-wall.gif

[Gugg]

You know you're a nothingburger when you tell players to use lull on non-social mobs. :eek:

[wuanahto]

did jeff foxworthy die or something?

[Dolalin]

You're a 60 pound girl who takes up martial arts lessons (and posts photo's and videos of it online) so you can defend yourself on the streets against a gang of armed men or an out of control dump truck. Why? Cause it's trendy to do martial arts (or pretend to).

My 4yr old daughter started kids karate on Saturday. It was mostly a class of 6-8yr olds but she absolutely smashed it, participated in everything even though she was the smallest in the class and made mistakes, wasn't phased in the slightest at doing exercises with much older children, and was showing off her punches and kicks afterwards. To say I'm proud is an understatement.

If you're bitter at the world and all its imperfections it usually means it's you who is struggling. When you put others down to make yourself feel better, it's your inadequacy that I immediately see, not theirs.

I won't judge you for this -- yet -- because this is a teachable moment. What I think of you will depend on what you do with this information, and whether you choose to better yourself so you can give back to the world instead of poking holes in it.

[unsunghero]

I wouldn’t say martial arts are trendy. Or, at least, are AS trendy as they used to be

Martial arts were far more popular during the days of the original Karate Kid and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Nowadays not only are some martial arts like Tae Kwon Do (that I did competitively) deemed not popular enough to remain Olympic sports, many “experts” of martial arts styles claiming their style’s superiority have been thoroughly and publicly humiliated by mediocre MMA fighters

The MMA community, which is more popular than ever, seems to have very little respect for most of the eastern martial art styles like kung fu, wing chun, etc as they just don’t see them as remotely practical or useful in MMA. I’m still a casual MMA fan but the only styles you hear get any respect these days are kickboxing like Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu

[spiritsofrock]

This is literally the longest post I have ever seen

Read 50 words of it but 10/10 cause of the sheer volume

[Duik]

Canny be a nuffinburber wiff a prize like that!
Winner winner chicken dinner.

[Argonos]

This logic train wreck was my favorite----

You call people "holocaust deniers".

and THEN

You promote personal truths, instead of the truth.

[magnetaress]

dGEk2VI_m_U

The only miracle is that I haven't gotten put in a straight jacket and left to die of bloodclots in my own shit and piss after going crazy in public and getting shot by the police.

[magnetaress]

The only miracle is that I haven't gotten put in a straight jacket and left to die of bloodclots in my own shit and piss after going crazy in public and getting shot by the police.

And honestly I'm not sure that it's a miracle that this hasn't happened yet. Or that my psychologist hasn't bakeracted me.

[magnetaress]

This logic train wreck was my favorite----

You call people "holocaust deniers".

and THEN

You promote personal truths, instead of the truth.

To the victor go the spoils not the fact that a Prominent Jewish architect actually helped design or a concentration camp.

[magnetaress]

To the victor go the spoils not the fact that a Prominent Jewish architect actually helped design or a concentration camp.

(Or run, administrate)

[reznor_]

pity reply. Seek help OP. Hopefully that was copypasta and not a carefully constructed manifesto

[Barik]

Macequest 2.0 incoming.

[Gugg]

This logic train wreck was my favorite----

You call people "holocaust deniers".

and THEN

You promote personal truths, instead of the truth.

"The Holocaust" is a convenient personal truth, hence the "holocaust denier" slur to give the fantastical personal truth more credibility.

Blashphemer...holocaust denier....what's the difference?

You don't need to shame people into believing the truth, because the truth is good, you do need to shame people into believing a lie though because a lie is bad.

[Gugg]

My 4yr old daughter started kids karate on Saturday. It was mostly a class of 6-8yr olds but she absolutely smashed it, participated in everything even though she was the smallest in the class and made mistakes, wasn't phased in the slightest at doing exercises with much older children, and was showing off her punches and kicks afterwards. To say I'm proud is an understatement.

If you're bitter at the world and all its imperfections it usually means it's you who is struggling. When you put others down to make yourself feel better, it's your inadequacy that I immediately see, not theirs.

I won't judge you for this -- yet -- because this is a teachable moment. What I think of you will depend on what you do with this information, and whether you choose to better yourself so you can give back to the world instead of poking holes in it.

So you had a child, a female, in a world where she has to learn self defense at the age of 4 to protect herself? And you had her after 9/11 and COVID. How does that work?

You're watching commercial jets full of passengers being flown into skyscrapers, then you flip over the channel to hear reports of a global pandemic killing millions of people. While you're flipping through all the bad news you lean over to the wife and say, "Oh that reminds me, we should have a child before we die!".

What did you say to her when she arrived...?

"Hey, welcome to the party. One day I'm gonna die and leave you all alone in this world I brought you into, and then you're gonna die too. You better start taking karate lessons cause there's pedo's waiting to rape and murder you. BTW it's father's day today, where's my gift from you? Hold my beer, I need to go tell this a guy on a forum that he's inadequate then we can get back to me telling you how fucked you are because of me. Yay. FYI, I'm divorcing your mom and you're gonna have two dads because I'm finally coming out the closet after living a lie all these years. Yay me. Now let's get you into the UFC octagon so you can protect yourself from cancer."

Congrats, you have won a Darwin Award.

[Gugg]

The MMA community, which is more popular than ever

Cool story bro, but popularity can be faked.

[Gugg]

If you're bitter at the world and all its imperfections

"imperfections"...

This world is a shit hole you blind nonce.

When heaven comes to earth though it's gonna be fab. I'll have no excuse to complain then.

[Gugg]

You know you're a nothingburger when...

You hype up Quarm server.

You go to Burger King to buy vegan food.

Charlie Chan is offensive to you.

You watch Love Island.

You permanently camp a mob so nobody else can camp it.

You admire Bill Burr and Dave Chappelle.

You make a speech telling people how precious this "life" is.

When you call the police because there's an RV parked on the road near your house.

When you say "I care about not caring" and then you expect people to care about you and your bullshit causes.

[Argonos]

"The Holocaust" is a convenient personal truth, hence the "holocaust denier" slur to give the fantastical personal truth more credibility.

Blashphemer...holocaust denier....what's the difference?

You don't need to shame people into believing the truth, because the truth is good, you do need to shame people into believing a lie though because a lie is bad.

OR...

The Holocaust happened...and your personal truths of it not are nothing but fantasy.


Keep writing in cool fonts bro you are so edgy and informed of the tRuTH!?!?!?

[magnetaress]

So you had a child, a female, in a world where she has to learn self defense at the age of 4 to protect herself? And you had her after 9/11 and COVID. How does that work?

You're watching commercial jets full of passengers being flown into skyscrapers, then you flip over the channel to hear reports of a global pandemic killing millions of people. While you're flipping through all the bad news you lean over to the wife and say, "Oh that reminds me, we should have a child before we die!".

What did you say to her when she arrived...?

"Hey, welcome to the party. One day I'm gonna die and leave you all alone in this world I brought you into, and then you're gonna die too. You better start taking karate lessons cause there's pedo's waiting to rape and murder you. BTW it's father's day today, where's my gift from you? Hold my beer, I need to go tell this a guy on a forum that he's inadequate then we can get back to me telling you how fucked you are because of me. Yay. FYI, I'm divorcing your mom and you're gonna have two dads because I'm finally coming out the closet after living a lie all these years. Yay me. Now let's get you into the UFC octagon so you can protect yourself from cancer."

Congrats, you have won a Darwin Award.
If only kids could sue their parents for violating their constitutional rights lol.

[unsunghero]

Cool story bro, but popularity can be faked.

Ya, I worded that weird

I meant that MMA is objectively more popular amongst modern audiences than traditional eastern martial arts

I’m basing that on the fact that traditional eastern martial arts tournaments aren’t selling out entire stadiums and getting thousands of Pay Per View buys not just from individuals but from bars who charge cover that night to make $

But are there more casual non-professional participants of MMA than of other traditional martial arts? That I don’t know. The traditional martial arts are still useful as a workout method, I imagine that is their main draw now. Whereas before MMA became as mainstream, traditional martial arts were seen as more useful for self-defense

[Gugg]

OR...

The Holocaust happened...and your personal truths of it not are nothing but fantasy.


Keep writing in cool fonts bro you are so edgy and informed of the tRuTH!?!?!?

Can you provide any proof it did happen? Were you even there?

I mean, it's a scientific world right? So why should I have faith in you and believe you when we have science?

It seems very far fetched to me, and if it did happen they were kinda asking for it in a way.

But it didn't happen, if it did you would have proof. Where is it?

PS. I'm using the same edgy font as you, it's just bigger.

[Gugg]

Ya, I worded that weird

I meant that MMA is objectively more popular amongst modern audiences than traditional eastern martial arts

I’m basing that on the fact that traditional eastern martial arts tournaments aren’t selling out entire stadiums and getting thousands of Pay Per View buys not just from individuals but from bars who charge cover that night to make $

But are there more casual non-professional participants of MMA than of other traditional martial arts? That I don’t know. The traditional martial arts are still useful as a workout method, I imagine that is their main draw now. Whereas before MMA became as mainstream, traditional martial arts were seen as more useful for self-defense

If it's on TV being hyped up like UFC is then it's trendy to watch it and trendy to be a martial artist, but it doesn't mean it's popular. How many people are there in the world and how many people can fit in a stadium? How many people watch it on TV? What are the viewing figures? Going by the viewing figures, all spectator sports are a minority past time but receive a disproportionate amount of coverage.

Trends come and go, they are here today and gone tomorrow.

The UFC, like all industries, have an achilles heel...they all rely on slavery to exist.

Once the slaves have an alternative option to working for $5 an hour just to make the Dana White's of the world rich, the industries will die....all of them. Pop stars would literally have to personally burn their own CD's instead of exploiting cheap labor.

You wouldn't see UFC ever gain because once the US$ becomes obsolete UFC becomes obsolete.

[Duik]

Are we now denying the holocaust? Really? Trolling surely.
In the hopes my faith in the humanity of my fellow man is not dashed against the rocks of stupidity, I choose trolling.
Good going there Gugg, you nearly had me.

[Gugg]

I'm beginning to think that all the celebs are either androids or photorealistic cartoons. So Tyson Fury doesn't really exist and neither does Mike Tyson.

Those moon landings for example, I used to think it was filmed on a set or something but now I'm thinking it was filmed in a software application.

All the porn is fake too, they're not real people.

Video footage and photographs are not good evidence.

[aussenseiter]

If it's on TV being hyped up like UFC is then it's trendy to watch it and trendy to be a martial artist, but it doesn't mean it's popular. How many people are there in the world and how many people can fit in a stadium? How many people watch it on TV? What are the viewing figures? Going by the viewing figures, all spectator sports are a minority past time but receive a disproportionate amount of coverage.

Yes, there is more than one show on at once. Many more in fact.

This is called "TV", you idiot.

[Gugg]

Are we now denying the holocaust? Really? Trolling surely.
In the hopes my faith in the humanity of my fellow man is not dashed against the rocks of stupidity, I choose trolling.
Good going there Gugg, you nearly had me.

Prove me wrong instead of using guilt trips and calling me a troll.

Now is your chance.

I'm all ears.

[aussenseiter]

Going by the viewing figures, all spectator sports are a minority past time but receive a disproportionate amount of coverage.

[Gugg]

Yes, there is more than one show on at once. Many more in fact.

This is called "TV", you idiot.

Tell A Lie Vision

[aussenseiter]

Tell A Lie Vision

How many people watch it on TV? What are the viewing figures? Going by the viewing figures, all spectator sports are a minority past time but receive a disproportionate amount of coverage.

Diversity is our strength. Shithead.

[Gugg]

Tell-LIE-Vision

[Gugg]

Diversity is our strength. Shithead.

Diversity? yeah, I saw how diverse you all are with covid....all those face masks made you all look so diverse. And everything being made in china, that's some diversity too.

Spectator sports, there's some diversity....wearing the exact same clothes as 30,00 others of you.

:rolleyes:

[aussenseiter]

Diversity? yeah, I saw how diverse you all are with covid....all those face masks made you all look so diverse. And everything being made in china, that's some diversity too.

Spectator sports, there's some diversity....wearing the exact same clothes as 30,00 others of you.

:rolleyes:

Some people like different TV shows and that's OK.

It doesn't impugn the character of MMA that less than a majority are interested in it.

[aussenseiter]

I might make a watch party thread for Bachelor Season 28 if Mags will give me approval(she's my CIA handler) :o

[Gugg]

Some people like different TV shows and that's OK.

It doesn't impugn the character of MMA that less than a majority are interested in it.

All the TV shows have the same theme; death.

Fox and CNN report the same "news", just with different wrapping paper.

Sky news reports the same news just with a different accent.

There is no diversity.

All the cars are beginning to look the same.

[aussenseiter]

All the TV shows have the same theme; death.

Fox and CNN report the same "news", just with different wrapping paper.

Sky news reports the same news just with a different accent.

There is no diversity.

All the cars are beginning to look the same.

News is news. You haven't said anything here.

Might as well shutup. :cool:

[Gugg]

News is news. You haven't said anything here.

Might as well shutup. :cool:

Fake news.

[aussenseiter]

Will the Daft Horse drink the water?

Find out next episode of Moose and Squirrel "or" Cat and Mouse!

[Duik]

As much as it pains me to partially agree with ol Gugg here i do think all popular sports be it basketball, baseball, motor racing, UFC it all relies on the hype generated (by cleverly designed social engineering methods) to create a hero worship mindset.

Seriously, paying one fucker several millions of dollars to kick a fucking ball around? Serious?
These guys are not heroes. Disclaimer: some are great humans, but not cuz foosball.

One dimensional performance in a game of skill does not mean a well rounded human is created, or even encouraged to emerge. Be the best at soccer. To exclusion of ALL else is a stupid platform on which to create a hero.

Having said that, ive seen a few vids of ufc type men attacked while out socializing. The cool headed responses of these few was impressive. Training to be clearheaded is a great skill. Worship those guys if you must.

Mike Tyson? Great fighter but BIT THE EAR OF AN OPPONENT. Game over fuckwit.
In short, hype for the sake of hype bad.

Paying Messi gajillions of dollars per season is big business betting on our ability to be collectively manipulated so they create even more money back.

Welcome to spectator sports, suckers.

[aussenseiter]

As much as it pains me to partially agree with ol Gugg here i do think all popular sports be it basketball, baseball, motor racing, UFC it all relies on the hype generated (by cleverly designed social engineering methods) to create a hero worship mindset.

Seriously, paying one fucker several millions of dollars to kick a fucking ball around? Serious?
These guys are not heroes. Disclaimer: some are great humans, but not cuz foosball.

One dimensional performance in a game of skill does not mean a well rounded human is created, or even encouraged to emerge. Be the best at soccer. To exclusion of ALL else is a stupid platform on which to create a hero.

Having said that, ive seen a few vids of ufc type men attacked while out socializing. The cool headed responses of these few was impressive. Training to be clearheaded is a great skill. Worship those guys if you must.

Mike Tyson? Great fighter but BIT THE EAR OF AN OPPONENT. Game over fuckwit.
In short, hype for the sake of hype bad.

Paying Messi gajillions of dollars per season is big business betting on our ability to be collectively manipulated so they create even more money back.

Welcome to spectator sports, suckers.

They generate a much greater amount of economic benefit than what they are paid for kicking a ball/wife around

[Gugg]

You know when you're a nothingburger when...

You believe in dinosaurs.

When you say "the holocaust" happened but don't provide any proof and instead rely on guilt trips, insults and violence to force people believe to your fantasy.

When you say this world is diverse.

When you're idol is Conor McGregor.

When you say "news is news" even though news reports can be easily faked. Watch: "Breaking newsL 5 billion die in big explosion!". There, I just faked some "news". Now I'm a news presenter too.

[aussenseiter]

You know when you're a nothingburger when...

You believe in dinosaurs.

When you say "the holocaust" happened but don't provide any proof and instead rely on guilt trips, insults and violence to force people believe to your fantasy.

When you say this world is diverse.

When you're idol is Conor McGregor.

When you say "news is news" even though news reports can be easily faked. Watch: "Breaking newsL 5 billion die in big explosion!". There, I just faked some "news". Now I'm a news presenter too.



News is things that happened.

What happened for you lately?

No news is bad news.

[Gugg]

They generate a much greater amount of economic benefit than what they are paid for kicking a ball/wife around

How does you giving Messi your wages to kick a football around benefit you?

They're all tax dodgers.

[Duik]

They generate a much greater amount of economic benefit than what they are paid for kicking a ball/wife around

Correct, but who is the benificiary?
You and I? OR
Nike or Gatorade? Bingo!
They funnel your (not mime, me no falley for hero worship) money from you to them via your inability to see what is happening.

Go Sports Team! GOOOO. Shutup and take my money.

[Duik]

Im really hating that i agree with Gugg. Damn it.

[Gugg]

News is things that happened.

What happened for you lately?

No news is bad news.

I haven't watched the news for at least a year.

I realised that watching the news is like watching one of those long running soaps where you can miss lots of episodes and then start watching it again and you didn't miss anything.

Whoever write the soaps is writing the news too, same format.

[aussenseiter]

Im really hating that i agree with Gugg. Damn it.

Sometimes people who work for Nike or Gatorade buy your barbied roo tails or whatever it is you people do, putting money in your pocket.

[Duik]

People who "work for" nike or gatorade get a pitence of that generated profit. Try again. Also roo tails are dog food. Leg steaks is where its at.

Also also we are the only country that eat both of the animals on our coat of arms.
We have absolutely zero fucks.
Have some nice bbq bald eagle.

[aussenseiter]

I haven't watched the news for at least a year.

I realised that watching the news is like watching one of those long running soaps where you can miss lots of episodes and then start watching it again and you didn't miss anything.

Whoever write the soaps is writing the news too, same format.


Yes it is perfectly allowed to uninformed about the world outside your own head.

But there's a crocodile in there who wants to get ya. 🐊

[aussenseiter]

People who "work for" nike or gatorade get a pitence of that generated profit. Try again.

I don't understand the problem?

[Gugg]

Sometimes people who work for Nike or Gatorade buy your barbied roo tails or whatever it is you people do, putting money in your pocket.

I'm not seeing any money in my pocket. I see a lot of money in Dana White's pocket.

Even if your right that celebs benefit me, you're talking about pieces of paper which can only buy certain things.

Yoy can't buy a friend or extra time or health or natural beauty with pieces of paper, just the basics.

You can't buy everything life has to offer with US$.

[Duik]

I don't understand the problem?

Exactly.

[aussenseiter]

Exactly.

I think you're conflating stock valuation and sales with produced profits and pretending you're "being screwed".

But I think that about everyone so forget it.

[Gugg]

Yes it is perfectly allowed to uninformed about the world outside your own head.

But there's a crocodile in there who wants to get ya. 🐊

Knowing Trump is running for President doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't feel smart or informed watching him speak.

If I want fantasy I'll just play EQ instead of watching CNN/Fox.

I've put the remote control away, I'm waiting for good news now....at my door.

[aussenseiter]

I'm not seeing any money in my pocket. I see a lot of money in Dana White's pocket.

Even if your right that celebs benefit me, you're talking about pieces of paper which can only buy certain things.

Yoy can't buy a friend or extra time or health or natural beauty with pieces of paper, just the basics.

You can't buy everything life has to offer with US$.



Thing globally, act locally.

(By watching two humans beat the shit out of each other)

[Gugg]

Thing globally, act locally.

(By watching two humans beat the shit out of each other)

Real life is 3D and your celebs are 2D.

3D > 2D.

[aussenseiter]

Real life is 3D and your celebs are 2D.

3D > 2D.

You're the only celebrity I know, so it checks out.

[Gugg]

You're the only celebrity I know, so it checks out.

I'm not a celeb. I'm a nobody.

[aussenseiter]

I'm not a celeb. I'm a nobody.

But you wear a size 4. Who else here can say that? 🤫

[Gugg]

But you wear a size 4. Who else here can say that? 🤫

Everybody if they wanted.

[aussenseiter]

Everybody if they wanted.

It's a girl size. I wear a 32.

[Gugg]

It's a girl size. I wear a 32.

Well if truth is subjective like you say it is, just call it 4 then you are 4.

You can also tell people you went to the moon and were in a holocaust.

If they don't believe you then start blubbing and calling them anti-semitic and holocaust deniers....prey on their feelings and stop them from asking questions....tell them you're trying to forget the pain (while mentioning it all the time).

You're gonna need some realistic video footage and photographs to really sell it though.

[Gugg]

How did scientists prove they were telling the truth before television?

Imagine a scientist a thousand years ago, and he shows you an oil drum and he tells you he went to the moon in it. It's a really hard sell without realistic video footage.

[Gugg]

Scientists aren't IRL though, because science is a spectator sport too just like church and UFC.

[aussenseiter]

Well if truth is subjective like you say it is, just call it 4 then you are 4.

You can also tell people you went to the moon and were in a holocaust.

If they don't believe you then start blubbing and calling them anti-semitic and holocaust deniers....prey on their feelings and stop them from asking questions....tell them you're trying to forget the pain (while mentioning it all the time).

You're gonna need some realistic video footage and photographs to really sell it though.

Are you doomed to wear a size 4 all your life?

Choose Christ

[unsunghero]

Either way, the benefits to putting your kid in a sport like martial arts are numerous:

1. Gets them off their ass and not being sedentary

2. Gets them away from their budding screen addiction

3. Gets them socialization so they’re not weird awkward fucks later who can’t make friends

Those are the big 3. Convincing them that their moves will help them defend themselves is misleading. Scream and run, that’s probably a better self defense strategy for a 4yr old girl. As they get older, go for the eyes, groin, piss yourself, scream, don’t get forced in a car, make them have to try to shoot you as you run away. Or just shoot them

[Gugg]

Either way, the benefits to putting your kid in a sport like martial arts are numerous:

1. Gets them off their ass and not being sedentary

2. Gets them away from their budding screen addiction

3. Gets them socialization so they’re not weird awkward fucks later who can’t make friends

Those are the big 3. Convincing them that their moves will help them defend themselves is misleading. Scream and run, that’s probably a better self defense strategy for a 4yr old girl. As they get older, go for the eyes, groin, piss yourself, scream, don’t get forced in a car, make them have to try to shoot you as you run away. Or just shoot them

My strategy is to not have children. It works pretty good.

[aussenseiter]

My strategy is to not have children. It works pretty good.

The crows will sing as they feast on your corpse, girl.

[Duik]

Unsung. Good strat. No sarcasm.
Also points 1 2 and 3 thats some good advice that no one here will admit to taking/offering. :+)

[Gugg]

Unsung. Good strat. No sarcasm.
Also points 1 2 and 3 thats some good advice that no one here will admit to taking/offering. :+)

So when are you taking up full contact martial arts then?

I heard that after a few kicks in the face you get used to the pain.

Let tme know how it goes.

[Duik]

Advice to kids numbnuts. We talkin about our (current and potential) kids. Now quite down while da grups speak.

[magnetaress]

90% likely an adult in a size 4 is anorexic and probably got a ton of other issues.

[Gugg]

Advice to kids numbnuts. We talkin about our (current and potential) kids. Now quite down while da grups speak.

You want kids to get kicked in the face?

You should seek therapy...

[Duik]

The world is full of kicks to the face, the trick is learning to deal wiff dem. And learning the correct response.
Also, someone is the kicker the other is the kicked.
The secret is to be the kicker.

[Gugg]

The world is full of kicks to the face, the trick is learning to deal wiff dem. And learning the correct response.
Also, someone is the kicker the other is the kicked.
The secret is to be the kicker.

I can't reach that high with my feet, and it sounds like way too much effort.

What else do you want to see kids doing?

[arvidez]

Either way, the benefits to putting your kid in a sport like martial arts are numerous:

1. Gets them off their ass and not being sedentary

2. Gets them away from their budding screen addiction

3. Gets them socialization so they’re not weird awkward fucks later who can’t make friends

Those are the big 3. Convincing them that their moves will help them defend themselves is misleading. Scream and run, that’s probably a better self defense strategy for a 4yr old girl. As they get older, go for the eyes, groin, piss yourself, scream, don’t get forced in a car, make them have to try to shoot you as you run away. Or just shoot them


guns are an awesome equilizer. open carry should be a feminist issue.

[Gugg]

guns are an awesome equilizer. open carry should be a feminist issue.

Carrying a gun makes more sense than learning unarmed combat.

Especially if you are a female who weighs 60 pounds and you think all men are out to get you because, you know, you're so special and irresistible that all men can't control themselves in your presence.

[Origen]

Do both, carry guns and learn basic self-defense... and resist the incel urge

[Gugg]

Do both, carry guns and learn basic self-defense... and resist the incel urge

Nah, if I don't do anything I haven't done anything wrong. If I have to be violent to defend my life then my life ain't worth shit.

Buying a gun or learning karate to win a street fight is like getting a pre-nup, you're expecting/asking for trouble. And you know what they say; if you live by the sword you die by the sword.

[unsunghero]

Advice to kids numbnuts. We talkin about our (current and potential) kids. Now quite down while da grups speak.

I almost never got kicked in the head, but I was good ;)

State tournaments not only would I always take first, the kids I fought would be leaving the ring crying 80% of the time

That being said, if a parent is worried about head hits, just don’t have your kid spar. Tae Kwon Do was still very competitive at tournaments with forms and breaking (boards, bricks)

[unsunghero]

learning karate to win a street fight

I still remember one of the bullies at my school came up to me and said something like “oh I hear you have a black belt, so you think you can win in a street fight?”

And I said “Nope. I do pretty good in tournaments, but they have rules”

The kid’s brow furrowed as he thought about it, and then dropped the subject. He was hoping to provoke a confrontation I think

I’ve talked my way out of a few fights, never been in a street fight yet, can always talk my way out

[unsunghero]

BTW, the hardest hits your kid will take is not from other kids but sparring vs adults who aren’t as skilled

My instructor used to put me against adults of all skill levels. I learned that one head hick to a 30 year old dude green belt could sting his pride enough to make him go basically full bore on kicks

Nothing like being blasted blocking a roundhouse from an angry 30 year old dude as a kid. Would send me skidding and knock the wind out even blocked. Take a few of those and hits from other kids feel like pillows ;)

[magnetaress]

As someone with boobs. Getting punched in the boobs really hurts butt it's not really fatal.

A surprise hit (caught flat footed) to the solar plexus is the worst hit I've ever taken. Straight up stunned for a full 15 seconds.

Head hits suck. Butt you aren't guaranteed KOs.

[Gugg]

As someone with boobs. Getting punched in the boobs really hurts butt it's not really fatal.

A surprise hit (caught flat footed) to the solar plexus is the worst hit I've ever taken. Straight up stunned for a full 15 seconds.

Head hits suck. Butt you aren't guaranteed KOs.

You are a dude who has boobs and no balls?

:confused:

[magnetaress]

You are a dude who has boobs and no balls?

:confused:

Used to be really pretty too.

It only lasted 4 years 😢😪

Then I killed myself.

💀😱👻⚰

It sucks being literally undead. Don't recommend.

[magnetaress]

Well. I sort of "cane back to life" I wouldn't exactly call it a resurrection tho. And it certainly cost a lot and is was painful.

Like it's not a free pass to divinity or anything cool fun or worthwhile.

Not sure why I am still alive? If true?

It's weird.

[magnetaress]

It's a shame really.

Buttttt as the bhudda says.

Everything is temporary. The glass is already broken.


To those who are about to be in your prime or are living it.

Savor and cherish those moments. Don't discard them or throw them away. Those moments are what life is all about.

[magnetaress]

I'm just glad I have only experienced getting punched in the boob a few times in life.

[magnetaress]

I'm just glad I have only experienced getting punched in the boob a few times in life.

Like the more I think about it this is the most important thing. If I had to regularly get boob punched.

I'd fucking never come back to life.

[magnetaress]

Seriously!

[Gugg]

It's Google's Birthday; 25 years of repeating lies.

I remember when I was first told to try google all those years ago and my first thought was, "What a stupid name!".

Some things don't evolve I guess, because it's still a stupid name to me.