This really happened on P99

[Viscere]

Back in the days, during the <Inglourious basterds> / <Transatlantic Rampage> days :

A wife/husband pair was in the guild <TransatlanticRampage>, they had a wizard and an enchanter named Alisa/Aleja.

The husband was really quiet and shy (and a cool dude). The wife on the other hand was much more ... talkative.

While I was learning how to break fear, she kept ranting in tells about how to do coke anally and how great it was for (anal) sex. It made me fail my kites a couple of times of course.

During kunark launch on blue, grinding for a RoA or a Pre-nerf fungi staff was hardcore, so she'd kill the time with more stories. I didn't pay much attention, but well, Kinsawt did.

Kinsawt apparently started dating Alisa, and well, she subsequently dumped her husband and divocred.

Kinsawt also RMT'd <Transatlantic Rampage>'s GB.

You heard this right, he got the pixels and the pussy. I rate his stay on p99 as honestly A+ and one of the guys that made the most of it.

Another dude in that guild named Sodapop used to point his 9mm on the screen during Trakanon engages, even took pictures of it (if someone from that time can oblige - would be cool).

We used ventrilo at the time. We were all forced to used push to talk, but this guy didn't want to - he'd just wait to get kicked out of vent.

One day during a trak engage that we lost to <TMO>, he was seemingly pissed. We heard a gunshot activate his mic, and well, I personally never heard of the guy again (screwed his rig, or his head, we will never know).

We were all concerned and shit, but we were also focused on CR'ing from under Trakanon.

If you also have crunchy stories about p99, please do share.

Yw.

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/KSgl1n9.png

[Allishia]

I knew about the coke ho but I had no idea about the gun shot one, that's crazy!

[Toxigen]

S tier thread

boofing blow must be nuts

[Ripqozko]

Back in the days, during the <Inglourious basterds> / <Transatlantic Rampage> days :

A wife/husband pair was in the guild <TransatlanticRampage>, they had a wizard and an enchanter named Alisa/Aleja.

The husband was really quiet and shy (and a cool dude). The wife on the other hand was much more ... talkative.

While I was learning how to break fear, she kept ranting in tells about how to do coke anally and how great it was for (anal) sex. It made me fail my kites a couple of times of course.

During kunark launch on blue, grinding for a RoA or a Pre-nerf fungi staff was hardcore, so she'd kill the time with more stories. I didn't pay much attention, but well, Kinsawt did.

Kinsawt apparently started dating Alisa, and well, she subsequently dumped her husband and divocred.

Kinsawt also RMT'd <Transatlantic Rampage>'s GB.

You heard this right, he got the pixels and the pussy. I rate his stay on p99 as honestly A+ and one of the guys that made the most of it.

Another dude in that guild named Sodapop used to point his 9mm on the screen during Trakanon engages, even took pictures of it (if someone from that time can oblige - would be cool).

We used ventrilo at the time. We were all forced to used push to talk, but this guy didn't want to - he'd just wait to get kicked out of vent.

One day during a trak engage that we lost to <TMO>, he was seemingly pissed. We heard a gunshot activate his mic, and well, I personally never heard of the guy again (screwed his rig, or his head, we will never know).

We were all concerned and shit, but we were also focused on CR'ing from under Trakanon.

If you also have crunchy stories about p99, please do share.

Yw.

Sodapop played a few more times even as recent as rustle, his late night banter was hilarious .

[unsunghero]

S tier thread

boofing blow must be nuts

Had a co-worker who used to tell me about how her gang member domestic violence abuser bf at the time used to sprinkle some meth on the tip of his dick before they had sex

Man that girl was an open book…

[WokeCat]

Was Alisa hot though? I feel like if I seduced a chick from P99 it would be some old ugly hag, lol

[magnetaress]

no females play on p99 just a heads up

if u think u are a female u should see a doctor

[WokeCat]

no females play on p99 just a heads up

if u think u are a female u should see a doctor

https://youtu.be/j48ab72xWJo

This was recommended to me earlier and I was confused. Not necessarily by the gender, but by the age? Like how the hell are people under the age of 50 discovering this game?

[WokeCat]

j48ab72xWJo

Oh God, I messed it up. I forgot this forum is kind of weird, lol.

[Encroaching Death]

Oh God, I messed it up. I forgot this forum is kind of weird, lol.

I like this chick.

She reminds me of about 99% of the drunk chicks I hooked up with after they got black out drunk and puked in the pool.

I mean that as a compliment.

[suptoofs]

Back in the days, during the <Inglourious basterds> / <Transatlantic Rampage> days :

A wife/husband pair was in the guild <TransatlanticRampage>, they had a wizard and an enchanter named Alisa/Aleja.

The husband was really quiet and shy (and a cool dude). The wife on the other hand was much more ... talkative.

While I was learning how to break fear, she kept ranting in tells about how to do coke anally and how great it was for (anal) sex. It made me fail my kites a couple of times of course.

During kunark launch on blue, grinding for a RoA or a Pre-nerf fungi staff was hardcore, so she'd kill the time with more stories. I didn't pay much attention, but well, Kinsawt did.

Kinsawt apparently started dating Alisa, and well, she subsequently dumped her husband and divocred.

Kinsawt also RMT'd <Transatlantic Rampage>'s GB.

You heard this right, he got the pixels and the pussy. I rate his stay on p99 as honestly A+ and one of the guys that made the most of it.

Another dude in that guild named Sodapop used to point his 9mm on the screen during Trakanon engages, even took pictures of it (if someone from that time can oblige - would be cool).

We used ventrilo at the time. We were all forced to used push to talk, but this guy didn't want to - he'd just wait to get kicked out of vent.

One day during a trak engage that we lost to <TMO>, he was seemingly pissed. We heard a gunshot activate his mic, and well, I personally never heard of the guy again (screwed his rig, or his head, we will never know).

We were all concerned and shit, but we were also focused on CR'ing from under Trakanon.

If you also have crunchy stories about p99, please do share.

Yw.

This is honestly S+ Tier.

Reminds me of a similar situation on live back on Innoruuk. Wife/husband duo in the in my guild and the wife was cheating on the husband with another guildie.

What was memorable though was that after everyone left the raid channel both of them stayed in it (with me AFK because I went to smoke a J with a friend). I came back and overheard the the dude she was cheating with say and I quote "those red panties you were wearing the other night were SMOKIN!". The wife then realize there was one other person in the channel(me) and said something to the effect of "hey, our buddy Scooby is in here" then promptly switched channels.

Never will forget that haha.

[goblinmob]

creepin on the channel bro

[magnetaress]

This game literally gave me both syphilis and hepatitis.

[Encroaching Death]

This game literally gave me both syphilis and hepatitis.

http://pa1.narvii.com/7487/dea9f0a38ba8c1947c67956fe2a076fd7339f270r1-268-300_00.gif

[goblinmob]

VD99

[Ratchet51]

I married a small asian boy I met on P99.

[unsunghero]

I married a small asian boy I met on P99.

When did u and Tuna decide to adopt?

[Patrece]

Kinsawt also helped slap the cuffs on Amelinda, after heads of staff hand waved us... then said we were insane and threatened us for making allegations.

https://i.imgur.com/sptPrz7.gif

[Chortles Snortles]

still waiting on my candies

[Encroaching Death]

When did u and Tuna decide to adopt?

Holy shit I lost it lol

[Prismaticshop]

Was Alisa hot though?

Yes.

She was Colombian.

Perky petite brunette and had a general charming appeal.

Definitely someone considered as "nice" and "good looking"

Doing cocaine anally during plane of fear raids is questionable though

[Tunabros]

first thread by viscere that i bothered reading

[Uthgaard]

Kinsawt also helped slap the cuffs on Amelinda, after heads of staff hand waved us... then said we were insane and threatened us for making allegations.

https://i.imgur.com/sptPrz7.gif

That had nothing to do with Kinsawt. That was 100% QF getting tired of her batty two-faced shit and burning it all down by just announcing that she was dating a player (him). No cuffs were slapped, she and her cookies left in humiliation and never came back.

She used to think that she was not taken seriously because she was a female, to the extent that she made a male forum presence, and to her disappointment, was still not taken any more seriously.

Some folks think they're disliked because of some minority status, when in reality, they're just cunts in any shape, size and or color.

[Viscere]

Uth, you were the best of the best GMs of all time.

You came check on a <Fish Bait> raid once whilst we were in PoF.

I remember people saying "don't talk shit in gu or say, you will get perma banned" - that's how scared shitless players were.

Then we got GMs like Amelinda or Derubael and , well , yeah, lawlzies.

[goblinmob]

Some folks think they're disliked because of some minority status, when in reality, they're just cunts in any shape, size and or color.

onehunnit..

[Lune]

Who was the dude who ended up with Tralina after she publicly spurned Hasbinbad, who flew across several time-zones to try to get some? Can't remember his name.

That had nothing to do with Kinsawt. That was 100% QF getting tired of her batty two-faced shit and burning it all down by just announcing that she was dating a player (him). No cuffs were slapped, she and her cookies left in humiliation and never came back.

She used to think that she was not taken seriously because she was a female, to the extent that she made a male forum presence, and to her disappointment, was still not taken any more seriously.

Some folks think they're disliked because of some minority status, when in reality, they're just cunts in any shape, size and or color.

I feel like it's been long enough Uthgaard. What's the scoop on Amelinda? Give us all the deetz

[Ripqozko]

Who was the dude who ended up with Tralina after she publicly spurned Hasbinbad, who flew across several time-zones to try to get some? Can't remember his name.



I feel like it's been long enough Uthgaard. What's the scoop on Amelinda? Give us all the deetz

Didn't a certain person take her to Vegas (tralina), we can't give sirken too much shit when others have done similar (tralina magically getting titles)

[Toxigen]

imagine pussy intertwined with pixels

[Lune]

Didn't a certain person take her to Vegas (tralina), we can't give sirken too much shit when others have done similar (tralina magically getting titles)

Don't remember the details on that but she did eventually settle down with some dude from P99 in Albuquerque, where she tried to run a gourmet petfood kickstarter scam (won't post the details because they are somewhat dox-y). Of course this was the golden age of RNF when we could literally post real life images of people and shop them onto pigs and whatnot.

[Lune]

Also I'm the one that figured out that Gotrocks was Derubael

[unsunghero]

imagine pussy intertwined with pixels

These concepts are almost always mutually exclusive, don’t get your hopes up

[unsunghero]

^
And having a spouse or gf that is ok with someone disrespecting and ignoring the family by playing P99 12 hours a day isn’t winning the lottery either. She’s probably either already cheating on him or will bail eventually

[Chortles Snortles]

its not ur fault bro

[unsunghero]

its not ur fault bro

Careful tabbing over, don’t you have a 12+ hour camp to keep tabs on?

[Encroaching Death]

7 seconds to cast Fear?

No thanks, would rather spend 100 mana.

[Chortles Snortles]

>he doesn't own a dedicated EverQuest laptop
https://i.imgur.com/78MBs8r.png

[Encroaching Death]

https://i.imgflip.com/72xqp2.jpg

[unsunghero]

+ points for using default UI

- points for using modern tech

Meanwhile I’m livin my best boomer life

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/traAG3K.jpeg

[Prismaticshop]

imagine pussy intertwined with pixels

Pussy pixels or pixels pussies is basically p99

[Encroaching Death]

I had a few friends that would throw parties at their house, but also "LAN Party" and play WoW during the parties.

Bunch of drunk girls running around while 4 or 5 nerds trying to dungeon crawl through Wailing Caverns.

I hated it.

[Prismaticshop]

I knew someone on p99 that masturbated to lvl 1 ungeared wood elves

[Encroaching Death]

I knew someone on p99 that masturbated to lvl 1 ungeared wood elves

Shit, you saw that?? I thought I was hidden

[unsunghero]

^
Can’t be me cause laptop

Never owned one in my life. PC games were meant to be played on desktops

I happen to play P99 on a shitbox 4000. Two floppy disk drives, wussup

[unsunghero]

^
Not counting the times I took my work laptop home, but that is exclusively for porn

[Encroaching Death]

I happen to play P99 on a shitbox 4000. Two floppy disk drives, wussup

That's what is great about P99.

I have a copy of P99 on a keychain thumb drive.

I could plug this thing into a display chromebook at Walmart and catch the guild raid in time if I had to.

Literally plug it into any shitbox and run it straight from the thumb drive.

I run it from my work computer when others think I'm hard at work. Like now.

[Uthgaard]

I feel like it's been long enough Uthgaard. What's the scoop on Amelinda? Give us all the deetz

I'm not sure there's much to the story that isn't archived in some old thread here, but the gist is that QF (Quickfingers) was basically a staff CI to sniff out evidence regarding the people who were DDoSing the server.

This was during the period when there were 2000 active players each night and me as only active CSR. Eventually we picked up some new guides, one of which was Amelinda.

After I stepped down, he became close with Amelinda, who was, at the best of times, a shambling mess. For a few weeks they dated, and she started to piss everyone off, way beyond the norm for customer service (more on that below). So QF and I had a chat about whether it was time, and I was like, sure let it rip. And he made it public, which ofc she couldn't stay on the staff anymore.


Uth, you were the best of the best GMs of all time.

You came check on a <Fish Bait> raid once whilst we were in PoF.

I remember people saying "don't talk shit in gu or say, you will get perma banned" - that's how scared shitless players were.

Then we got GMs like Amelinda or Derubael and , well , yeah, lawlzies.

What I didn't like about some of the people who followed me, was that they thought it was cool to try to copy me by just being a raging asshole (Amelinda especially did this). Like no, that was not my style. In order to keep up with the server needs, you had to make people scared enough to handle their own shit, BUT you also had to actually show up to help people who needed it and really care about the players. And only be as scary as needed to manage the volume.

Basically, being a good GM is being Shrek, not Hitler or Kathy Bates.

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/EttFK3Z.gif

[Lune]

I'm not sure there's much to the story that isn't archived in some old thread here, but the gist is that QF (Quickfingers) was basically a staff CI to sniff out evidence regarding the people who were DDoSing the server.

This was during the period when there were 2000 active players each night and me as only active CSR. Eventually we picked up some new guides, one of which was Amelinda.

After I stepped down, he became close with Amelinda, who was, at the best of times, a shambling mess. For a few weeks they dated, and she started to piss everyone off, way beyond the norm for customer service (more on that below). So QF and I had a chat about whether it was time, and I was like, sure let it rip. And he made it public, which ofc she couldn't stay on the staff anymore.




What I didn't like about some of the people who followed me, was that they thought it was cool to try to copy me by just being a raging asshole (Amelinda especially did this). Like no, that was not my style. In order to keep up with the server needs, you had to make people scared enough to handle their own shit, BUT you also had to actually show up to help people who needed it and really care about the players. And only be as scary as needed to manage the volume.

Basically, being a good GM is being Shrek, not Hitler or Kathy Bates.

https://imgur.com/a/s91NgPE

[Lune]

What a champion

[Malk]

imagine pussy intertwined with pixels

Sounds like early 90's porn

[unsunghero]

Sounds like early 90's porn

Lol

[Viscere]

Ye

[magnetaress]

Y not several laptops? Whos going to check if ur other boxes on vpns /q on the other servers in other zones.

On a 6 min timers u could easily tab between 3 or 4 characters.

[booter]

Kinsawt also RMT'd <Transatlantic Rampage>'s GB.



Lol he also RMT'd a bunch of stuff off of Booter back in the day. I took an extended break from the game and gave him/IB access to the character for CRs or whatever.

A couple years go by and I log back in to find Booter completely stripped. Thankfully GMs were able to actually verify what happened and restore most of the gear.

[Jibartik]

https://i.imgur.com/HMXcXZ3.gif

[magnetaress]

^this guy is actually cute dudes aspire

[Jimjam]

Y not several laptops? Whos going to check if ur other boxes on vpns /q on the other servers in other zones.

On a 6 min timers u could easily tab between 3 or 4 characters.

Surely you need a computer in each room you hang out with (maybe a couple of computers in the larger rooms, just in case)?:eek:

[Encroaching Death]

^this guy is actually cute dudes aspire

I musterbate twice a day to his image.

Jod rest his soul

(welcome to the suck zone)

[Chloroform]

didnt amelinda make cotton candy as a side gig? pretty sure QF was smashing and eating homemade cotton candy

[Chortles Snortles]

candies

[Prismaticshop]

Anyone else on p99 did coke anally ?

[Toxigen]

Anyone else on p99 did coke anally ?

livetsream of last quake on blue

https://i.imgur.com/ETxkNts.gif

[OuterChimp]

R&F still delivers. Well played my friends, well played.

[Yinaltin]

oh those old stories :) was a wild time . alisea (not alisa) was hot back then. has some pictures

soda did play some years after tr/ib wipe.
uuaellaen story was wild aswell.
omnimorph vanishing with 30 manastones.

[Yinaltin]

you were right . alisa was here name .

[k9quaint]

Now THIS is a rants and flames thread.

[Chortles Snortles]

she looks like she plays p1999
(lol)

[Ratchet51]

I'm in love... Again.

[Toxigen]

I'm in love... Again.

tits for pix(els)

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/ESsmb3z.gif

[apathe]

Subscribing

[Viscere]

Sericx, monk in <TMO> hated the opposing guild <Forceful Entry> so much that he would shoot adderal to stay awake in VP to deny them loot.

His stay on P99 ended abruptly. As an unemployed addict, he started to loot and steal in order irl to finance his addictions.

Ironically, he went to jail for numerous felonies, Forceful Entry being one of them.

[Viscere]

<The Mystical Order> had a creepy ring of members trading nudes.

[Viscere]

A monk named "Kawaii" who was in <Darkwind> then <Transatlantic Rampage> used to rant that players should "play better" and be more efficient during raids in order to make the most of it.

When people would tell Kawaii to chill, Kawaii would answer that they were terminally ill with cancer and had no time to waste.

Kawaii died sometime around in 2014, and their female human monk were never to be seen online ever again.

Rip

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/KSgl1n9.png

[Ratchet51]

Sericx, monk in <TMO> hated the opposing guild <Forceful Entry> so much that he would shoot adderal to stay awake in VP to deny them loot.

His stay on P99 ended abruptly. As an unemployed addict, he started to loot and steal in order irl to finance his addictions.

Ironically, he went to jail for numerous felonies, Forceful Entry being one of them.

Man that doesn't sound relatable...

[nyclin]

There was a HE CLR in Moonlight Crusaders that was homeless, and played for long sessions at the same McDonalds for months. The McDs eventually started kicking them out, and I got to hear some really awkward encounters that they had with McDs staff over voice chat.

It was really sad, and I ended up quitting for about a year because it really made me re-consider my perspective on EQ.

[Ratchet51]

High elves deserve better than that... Send me his info, I'll donate some of Tunare's grace to this lost elven brother.

[unsunghero]

There was a HE CLR in Moonlight Crusaders that was homeless, and played for long sessions at the same McDonalds for months. The McDs eventually started kicking them out, and I got to hear some really awkward encounters that they had with McDs staff over voice chat.



A guilty pleasure of mine was listening to recordings of wanna-be twitch streamers who were adults living with their parents where their parent had finally had enough and came into their room yelling at them for being a freeloading deadbeat and to move the hell out

Those were juicy

[Mockba1980]

Sericx, monk in <TMO> hated the opposing guild <Forceful Entry> so much that he would shoot adderal to stay awake in VP to deny them loot.

His stay on P99 ended abruptly. As an unemployed addict, he started to loot and steal in order irl to finance his addictions.

Ironically, he went to jail for numerous felonies, Forceful Entry being one of them.

I was in TMO and I have to agree! Sericx was #1 Hardcore during his short time in TMO before he disappeared like a dead star.

[Jify]

Good times, TMO was such a train wreck. They brought in the whole era of elf lawyers. :(

[Wow_Factor]

This helped me poop a turtle head, thx!

[Rick Sanchez]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXBG_jT6sRk&t=63s

All of you old cats remember this gem ?

[Ekco]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXBG_jT6sRk&t=63s

All of you old cats remember this gem ?

was this the dude got doxxed for ddosing? lol

[aussenseiter]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXBG_jT6sRk&t=63s

All of you old cats remember this gem ?

There's long been a shadow war between GG and the mods. Dig into profile visits if you don't have a list already.

[aussenseiter]

To wit:

1 (https://www.project1999.com/forums/member.php?u=159659)

2 (https://www.project1999.com/forums/member.php?u=148766)

[Sckrilla]

Sericx, monk in <TMO> hated the opposing guild <Forceful Entry> so much that he would shoot adderal to stay awake in VP to deny them loot.

His stay on P99 ended abruptly. As an unemployed addict, he started to loot and steal in order irl to finance his addictions.

Ironically, he went to jail for numerous felonies, Forceful Entry being one of them.
Bro you have no idea the crazy that was Sericx. This was only the tip of the iceberg. I launched the Free Sericx campaign after his felony arrest IRL and got that man freed! I also made such a retarded amount of PP in this game from holding down the fungi tunic camp for months straight with he and Jeremy. Dude would be on endless benders keeping that camp down for us. Wild ass guy, I miss him hahaha!

[Confit]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXBG_jT6sRk&t=63s

All of you old cats remember this gem ?

I forgot this existed holy shit lol.

[magnetaress]

This is the band camp in the LA suburbs thread

If u are really into this thread

1 seek Jesus
2 adjust your priorities in life

#1 will help greatly 🙏

[Toxigen]

green grocer slapped me w/ his meat sticks

[real_sauga_yoot]

Legendary thread.

After i quit, i spent some time contemplating my time in p99. IB and a lot of associated people were complete scumbags. Most of the leadership certainly was. The whole high end raiding scene, complete fucking mongoloids. My God...

Story of Alina, all true. What a fucking skank lol.

Here's a pic. Think that was during Kunark beta testing.

[Ekco]

After i quit, i spent some time contemplating my time in p99.

careful with that shit.. i cared so much about being a tmo app, it was retarded.

“When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back at you.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

Sex and EQ is classic as shit. For some people, lots of doors *and* anuses opened up due to the in-game connections you could make.

It usually was a girl with more voracious desires that her rl and in-game hubby/bf. I mean, this had to be at least a once a week occurrence across the live playerbase at one point. A hardcore guild gets rattled. Why? 9 times out of 10. This stuff.

So it's classic. However, did I ever tell you about Darkoor's mistell?


Surely you ... what''s what? Some of you haven't heard the story of Darkoor's mistell? Well let me be your Burl Ives. Darkoor was the GL of Vis Maior, a top guild on the Quellious server. Oh, and one night as another afk break was drawing to a close...




https://forums.ordoimperialis.com/uploads/monthly_02_2011/post-851-0-89632800-1298857842.jpg


Those were some reindeer games!

[Valakut]

Was Alisa hot though? I feel like if I seduced a chick from P99 it would be some old ugly hag, lol

more like a tranny with some little kid locked in the basement

[Barik]

Rumor had it that Xzerion would rim them both.

[unsunghero]

I don’t miss him, not even a little bit, but do worry a lil about Chortles

Dude was acting pretty weird (although really is that even possible for him) them vanishes

Grats 2 him on successfully guilt-tripping me for talking shit. I do actually have a conscience…

[Trexller]

Sex and EQ is classic as shit.

lost my virginity at 17 to a girl that I met in Everquest.

confirmed classic.

[Patrece]

I don’t miss him, not even a little bit, but do worry a lil about Chortles

Dude was acting pretty weird (although really is that even possible for him) them vanishes

Grats 2 him on successfully guilt-tripping me for talking shit. I do actually have a conscience…

What happened to Robert?

[unsunghero]

What happened to Robert?

No idea if that’s his name

He obviously not dead but I don’t want to contribute to someone suddenly not wanting to post here. That’s harder than I intended to go with shit talk

[Chortles Snortles]

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt

[Trexller]

yikes

i tip my hat to the master

[unsunghero]

WB

It’s bittersweet

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/dFOdBb9.png

[spiritsofrock]

yea the coke story was a classic urban legend until you find out it wasnt a legend...then it became amazing