purist
04-06-2011, 01:46 AM
List them and tell us why.
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Pancho Villa:
Mexico's Robin Hood and Osama bin Laden rolled into one. Poor bastard was christened with the name Doroteo Arange, born into a poor peasant family in Durango. Some say he turned into an outlaw after killing the landlord who raped his sister. Others say he was just another lazy country boy who preferred raising hell on horseback to sweating out his life as a sharecropper. Take your pick. Either way he didn't care much for being a peasant, not many people do. So he joined a gang of bandidos.
Turns out it was a pretty good career choice, 'cause things in Mexico were world-class fucked at the time. Not to say they haven't always been fucked ever since Cortez landed, but they got a lot worse around 1910, when a revolution against Mexico's dictator Porfirio Diaz basically dissolved into anarchy. I'm talking real anarchy. That means local warlords robbin', rapin' and rulin' as much ground as their pistols could handle. Perfect market conditions for a bandido like Doroteo.
The leader of Doroteo's gang was a guy whose real name was Pancho Villa. Doroteo stole his nom de guerre from him after the original Pancho Villa got shot. Doroteo decided he wasn't going to let a bad ass name like that go to waste. And that's how a country boy named Doroteo started to whoop it up on horseback.
All through 1915, Pancho played cross-border tag with the US Cav, riding into Anglo towns, shooting them up, and galloping off before the boys in blue could catch him. With PV in charge, the gang of bandidos grew fast, and was soon in command of a huge force called the Division del Norte. Mostly cavalry, but fuckers had a separate artillery and infantry unit and even their own medical corps operating straight out of specially equipped railroad cars.
Pancho's greatest raid was when he and his gang paid an unexpected visit to New Mexico, announced by Villa's pistoleros firing as they rode through the 13th Cav's tents at 2:30 am. The Yankee troopers had got drunk the night before and weren't in a John Wayne mood. I can't help thinking of those old Speedy Gonzalez cartoons when I imagine this raid. "Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!" and the whole fort, log palisades and all, is sucked up in his tailwind.
After jumping the 13th Cav that they took a rest stop at the town of Columbus, New Mexico. It was quite a visit: they again whooped it up on horseback shouting, "Kill da Gringos!" and burned the whole place to the ground, shot a couple dozen troopers and another dozen civvies, and made off with some chump change and all the whiskey their saddlebags could hold.
President Wilson was not happy. He called up the National Guard for border duty, sent 15,000 men to patrol the New Mexico sector of the border and later he upped the number to 75,000. Just like 'Nam, the US had all the technical advantage, including aircraft for recon and early 20th century SUVs to drive through the desert. But the enemy was fighting on his home ground, so guess who won?
Yup, Villa made a fool of the Gringos. Fucker was the best Gringo-troller in history. He makes Hugo Chavez look like a mere drama queen. When the US came at him, he turned New Mexico into Afghanistan guerilla country. All six of the US' aircrafts crashed within the first few months. Indian scouts led the US Cav into gullies, where they perished fast. Villa was both nowhere and everywhere. Nobody on the US came out looking good.
After months of frustration, the US just got pissed off and started firing blind, eventually shooting up a unit of the Mexican Army which was helping them track down Villa in a town called Carrizal. That didn't help much with the hearts and minds. Besides, there was a little thing called World War I going on, and Wilson finally realized his troops would be more useful in Europe than making fools of themselves in Mexico.
And Villa was making fools of them. Villa's men were so unafraid of the Gringos that all they did to disguise themselves was take off their trademark bandido ammunition belts. Once they did that, they were civvies again. Supposedly, Villa's whole officer corps once attended a movie incognito with 100s of 13th Cav troopers.
Now that, to me, is a great man in history.
----
Pancho Villa:
Mexico's Robin Hood and Osama bin Laden rolled into one. Poor bastard was christened with the name Doroteo Arange, born into a poor peasant family in Durango. Some say he turned into an outlaw after killing the landlord who raped his sister. Others say he was just another lazy country boy who preferred raising hell on horseback to sweating out his life as a sharecropper. Take your pick. Either way he didn't care much for being a peasant, not many people do. So he joined a gang of bandidos.
Turns out it was a pretty good career choice, 'cause things in Mexico were world-class fucked at the time. Not to say they haven't always been fucked ever since Cortez landed, but they got a lot worse around 1910, when a revolution against Mexico's dictator Porfirio Diaz basically dissolved into anarchy. I'm talking real anarchy. That means local warlords robbin', rapin' and rulin' as much ground as their pistols could handle. Perfect market conditions for a bandido like Doroteo.
The leader of Doroteo's gang was a guy whose real name was Pancho Villa. Doroteo stole his nom de guerre from him after the original Pancho Villa got shot. Doroteo decided he wasn't going to let a bad ass name like that go to waste. And that's how a country boy named Doroteo started to whoop it up on horseback.
All through 1915, Pancho played cross-border tag with the US Cav, riding into Anglo towns, shooting them up, and galloping off before the boys in blue could catch him. With PV in charge, the gang of bandidos grew fast, and was soon in command of a huge force called the Division del Norte. Mostly cavalry, but fuckers had a separate artillery and infantry unit and even their own medical corps operating straight out of specially equipped railroad cars.
Pancho's greatest raid was when he and his gang paid an unexpected visit to New Mexico, announced by Villa's pistoleros firing as they rode through the 13th Cav's tents at 2:30 am. The Yankee troopers had got drunk the night before and weren't in a John Wayne mood. I can't help thinking of those old Speedy Gonzalez cartoons when I imagine this raid. "Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!" and the whole fort, log palisades and all, is sucked up in his tailwind.
After jumping the 13th Cav that they took a rest stop at the town of Columbus, New Mexico. It was quite a visit: they again whooped it up on horseback shouting, "Kill da Gringos!" and burned the whole place to the ground, shot a couple dozen troopers and another dozen civvies, and made off with some chump change and all the whiskey their saddlebags could hold.
President Wilson was not happy. He called up the National Guard for border duty, sent 15,000 men to patrol the New Mexico sector of the border and later he upped the number to 75,000. Just like 'Nam, the US had all the technical advantage, including aircraft for recon and early 20th century SUVs to drive through the desert. But the enemy was fighting on his home ground, so guess who won?
Yup, Villa made a fool of the Gringos. Fucker was the best Gringo-troller in history. He makes Hugo Chavez look like a mere drama queen. When the US came at him, he turned New Mexico into Afghanistan guerilla country. All six of the US' aircrafts crashed within the first few months. Indian scouts led the US Cav into gullies, where they perished fast. Villa was both nowhere and everywhere. Nobody on the US came out looking good.
After months of frustration, the US just got pissed off and started firing blind, eventually shooting up a unit of the Mexican Army which was helping them track down Villa in a town called Carrizal. That didn't help much with the hearts and minds. Besides, there was a little thing called World War I going on, and Wilson finally realized his troops would be more useful in Europe than making fools of themselves in Mexico.
And Villa was making fools of them. Villa's men were so unafraid of the Gringos that all they did to disguise themselves was take off their trademark bandido ammunition belts. Once they did that, they were civvies again. Supposedly, Villa's whole officer corps once attended a movie incognito with 100s of 13th Cav troopers.
Now that, to me, is a great man in history.