Adios Elves

[skarlorn]

This forum was a real lifeline during some dark points in my life due to chronic illness and surgery. I'm very grateful for everyone who bore witness. I'm grateful for the Guides, especially Llandris, who made my dreams come true and is also the BEST roleplay Guide p99 has got. Grateful to Haynar the Merciless, Nilbog, Rogean, and everyone else who has made this possible.

I don't play p99 anymore. Nor do I find ongoing correspondence with the majority of remaining users to be a healthy or productive habit. We all know this place is a hive of toxicity and abuse. I certainly played my part in that. And it's obvious that some people will be stuck here, for years, projecting their feelings of negativity and emotional instability onto others (you know who you are, Cecily). But I don't really want that anymore, nor do I feel the need to try and convince people to feel otherwise.

It's been truly delightful getting to know some of you. I hope that p99 continues to be a source of joy or toxic autism, whatever you want it to be.

If you'd like to stay in touch with me, please shoot me a PM.

I'm petitioning for my account to be wiped. Good riddance! 5k posts is too many.

If mods don't want to hit the delete button, I will activate the sacred Power Words.

Thanks for shit posting with me over the past 5.5 years guys. It's been real.

tldr life aggro g2g sry

[Baler]

No please don't Leave

[Cecily]

Didn’t read. I hope we can still be friends.

[Siberious]

Bye Felicia

[Foxplay]

Imma Fox not an elf

[Baler]

Forum Quest will never be the same. Captain Skarlorn you're this vessels leader! Please don't go. :(
I can't name another quester who's gone through the ringer and came out the other end a stronger and more courageous poster than you.

https://i.imgur.com/qxeYvtY.gif

[bigjeff100]

Damn Skarlorn! Sorry to see ya go bud, but do what you gotta do for the health!!! I know you live around the Pac N.W so if you ever lookin for a homey, or a hiking buddy or a gym partner.. I'll be around!! Holler! And take care of yourself out there man. Cheers!

[Ella`Ella]

Where will I get my invis rings now?!

Also, lemme get your loots - i basically put you in business.

[Cecily]

You will be missed.

[Baler]

Cecily show some respect. Not everything revolves around you and your baggage.
:mad:

[Cecily]

Respect for what?

[Phenyo]

k

[Xulia]

Never knew you - but wish you all the best anyway!

[Bainers]

I had no idea we were in an airport and had to announce our departure.

[Cecily]

Cecily show some respect. Not everything revolves around you and your baggage.
:mad:

That only works if people are dead and unhappily that’s not the case here. I don’t think you appreciate how much I dislike this creep. He doesn’t even have the guts to read my posts. Fuck you, Filbus.

[Jimjam]

I'm gonna miss you Lhance.

[Stroboo]

my day got better

[Wonkie]

you were fun and funny to post with, sorry if I was repeatedly a jackass

Godspeed, sire many wordsmithing hobbitsons!

[deezy]

bye felicia

[d3r14k]

Will miss you, Skarlorn. You've been a prominent poster for as long as I've been here. I'm sad to see you go. You and Rygar inspired me to write many a tale in between med breaks, something I definitely wouldn't have done without seeing it already on the boards. I'd urge you to partially reconsider and at least post and check in from time to time, but I understand if not.

Goodnight, sweet hobbit prince. I hope you find happiness in your life and future endeavors.

[Canelek]

Sorry to see you go bud. NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME!

NOTHING!1!

[loramin]

In a couple months I'll be like:

https://i.imgur.com/k9aSSkz.gif

Sorry to see that classic EQ lost its appeal to you, but give it a few months or years and I'll bet you'll re-discover it ... if you let yourself come back.

[Mead]

https://i.imgur.com/rrUx7Uv.gif

<3

[bigjeff100]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-EF60neguk

[skarlorn]

Hi everyone.

Thank you all for the comments. It's been such a weird journey. From selling rings to Unbrella so I could afford my cultural armor, to angry fights with Baler, to getting trolled - ceaselessly by Pokesan - to seeing Rygar and Deriak and Nexii start writing splendid RP stories - and especially to the people who hate me or are glad to see me go. It's more than I could have ever asked for out of a stupid elf simulator.

I am choosing to end it because I would prefer to stop on a good note, rather than slowly degenerate into a reviled shitpost bot (more than I already have) with nothing fresh to say. As I told Baler, I can't keep one foot in the door here while also refocusing my energy on RL goals.

Many of you are splendid posters and I feel safe knowing that the legacy of forum RP will continue on without my weary elf-pen

[skarlorn]

oh yeah, i'm gonna give away my platinum to JAKEREES so he can finally get that shaman epic for only 5-10k

[Nibblewitz]

Battle for Azeroth must be legit.

[Schaduwridder]

he aint going anywhere

anyone who quits just does it, anyone who does a famous quit post just wants attention

[Baler]

Battle for Azeroth must be legit.

HAHA oh shit, that's a good one. :D

[Baler]

https://i.imgur.com/2aYrofA.gif
https://i.imgur.com/d1eDMTl.gif

[khanable]

<3

[Jauna]

"hi guysgatta go bye forever"

then comes back 30 minutes later

[d3r14k]

oh yeah, i'm gonna give away my platinum to JAKEREES so he can finally get that shaman epic for only 5-10k

This is a great use of plat. I better see that bastard runnin around with a shiny spear soon. And get at least 1 rant thread about it.

[Ravager]

o7

[Baler]

o7

some eve online shit. very nice. :)

[Rekrul]

Hi everyone.

Thank you all for the comments. It's been such a weird journey. From selling rings to Unbrella so I could afford my cultural armor, to angry fights with Baler, to getting trolled - ceaselessly by Pokesan - to seeing Rygar and Deriak and Nexii start writing splendid RP stories - and especially to the people who hate me or are glad to see me go. It's more than I could have ever asked for out of a stupid elf simulator.

I am choosing to end it because I would prefer to stop on a good note, rather than slowly degenerate into a reviled shitpost bot (more than I already have) with nothing fresh to say. As I told Baler, I can't keep one foot in the door here while also refocusing my energy on RL goals.

Many of you are splendid posters and I feel safe knowing that the legacy of forum RP will continue on without my weary elf-pen

So posting on a message board prevents you from focusing on RL goals? What's wrong with you?

[Cecily]

He’s sick. Same type of sick as me. I’m sorry I’ve been a salty bitch, Filbus. Good luck with your endeavors.

[Nexii]

Glad you liked my stories in spite of the halfling mistreatments :P. Sorry you were often angry, I wasn't able to tell why..

[Videri]

nice meltdown

[clevergirl]

Skarlorn going to PoHate to get twisted by Innoruuk, bless his heart.

[Baler]

I hope we all find sweet release.

[indiscriminate_hater]

Can I have your stuff?

See you in 1.5 weeks

[Baler]

https://youtu.be/71nakCVA7eI?t=1m54s

[Baler]

It's not too late to save yourself!!!
Do not abandon your brothers and sisters!

[kaev]

cya Filbus, safe travels

[Topgunben]

I always liked you Skarlorn

[branamil]

You were a talented writer

[d3r14k]

You were a talented writer

And rapper.

<Rivervale Vanguard> theme song plays as Filbus walks away into the sunset.

[shuklak]

This is directly attributable to heavy handed governance in game and on the forums.

[Swish2]

Nobody quits forever.

Nobody.

[Baler]

Nobody quits forever.

Nobody.

If i stop posting for any reason i'll be back.
Unless im dead.

[definitely not Draconite]

FIRST

[Phenyo]

nice meltdown

[Rygar]

I'll miss you Filbus, I would welcome you with open arms to the bug research lifestyle. Free yourself from DramaQuest and help rebuild a world that was nearly lost to the ashes of history.

In truth, after my last roleplay thread I sensed the change in you, a broken husk of a man who once was a radiant voice of the masses. Sad to see the prophet Spyder's Filbus chronicles come to fruition... he foretold of this trauma at the hands of Kekephee. You overcame it or a time, but the scars ran deep.

Goodnight, sweet prince. At least we still have Magpie to entertain us.

I leave the world with some of Filbus' writing contributions:
"Please stop. How do I make it stop?" Sadiki groaned.

"YOU DON'T," Lady Vox said. The ancient ice dragon grabbed Sadiki and jammed the elf into place on the strapon belt she wore. Vox clambered up onto the back of Lord Nagafen - doggystyle - and started pegging him.

Sadiki closed his eyes in fear as his body - a living dildo - rammed up into Nagafen's scaley butthole. He started sweating in the fire dragon's hot innards; his elf sweat was the perfect lubricant; Nagafen moaned in pleasure, Vox pumped harder, and suddenly, Sadiki was pushed up further than ever before and found himself face to face with Lord Nagafen's draconic prostate.

Sadiki lashed out with his fists. He hoped to hurt the dragon from within so that his imprisonment as a draconic sex toy would finally come to an end. A week before, Wedar had sold him into slavery to the infamous couple, and now the elf finally saw his opportunity to strike back. His fists struck Naggy's prostate. The flesh unfolded and peeled away under the elf's hands. It was actually a Cloak of Flames.

"NGGGHHH FUCK ME HARDER BITCH" Nagafen shrieked. "IT FEEL SO GOOG."

Vox's hips tremored as the reverse dildo jammed the dwarf cleric against her immense clitoris. But she thrusted mightily and bit into the back of Nagafen's neck.

Sadiki found himself ripped in and out, in and out, until suddenly Vox accidentally pulled him all the way out.

"PUT IT BACK IN" Lord Nagafen pleaded eagerly.

Lady Vox obliged, but in her haste she didn't guide Sadiki into the orifice, and Sadiki's frail elf body smashed into Nagafen's gooch and his neck snapped.

Lady Vox said, "yikes, we lost another one." Then she pulled Sadiki out of her strap-on rig and flung his dead body against the wall, where it splattered and fell onto a pile of fetid corpses piled by Magi Rokyl's spawn point.

Lord Naggy looked over his shoulder with angry, slitted eyes and said, "You bitch! You ruined him on purpose. Now I'm not going to fuck you for another THOUSAND YEARS." He flew up in the air - flamboyantly - and with a raging lisp cursed Vox and their meathead son Kerafyrm.

Lady Vox departed the flaming halls, reminded all too well why they lived separately. Let Nagafen stay in his flaming chambers to be penetrated by the Fire Giants. And she would enjoy the cold crystalline fingers of the ice giants exploring her caverns.

As she flew back to permafrost, she avoided the Misty Thicket. A great danger rested there. The one being whomstd've fucked ALL the dragons. She did not want to awaken him from the Jum-induced stupor that the Gods had banded together to afflict him with. No, better not to risk his anger. Instead, she flew over a band of <Aftermath> nerds who were recharging at the barbarians in West Karanas and queefed majestically overhead, instantly killing them all.
Nibblewitz Fizzlebean bent Frodo over the bed in the cleric's room. They were both buck naked with huge (small) erections. Nibblewitz spat onto his hand and then thrust it into Frodo's anus. Gnome spit contains powerful lubricants, useful for two things: greasing cogs and fucking ass.

Now that his mark was well lubed, Nibble slid his tiny gnome cock into the stinky butthole. Ah. Yes. THAT was nice. Just what he needed.

He rocked back and forth, humming "An Ode to Chest."

"Um, Nibblewitz... Could you maybe fuck my ass a little bit harder?"

Nibblewitz looked at the back of Frodo's head through slitted eyes. "Oh, you want it harder you dirty fucking gnome?"

Frodo moaned with pleasure. "Yes... Talk dirty to me!"

Nibblewitz thrusted harder, harder. Then stopped abruptly. Frodo looked over his shoulder, exasperated. Nibblewitz leered at him.

Then he punched the cleric in the face.

Frodo YAULP III'd and twisted forward, but even with his extra strength he was no match for Nibblewitz, who had rooted him in place and pumped frantically, his tiny, twisted gnomish cock spasming in and out of Frodo's gritty butt hole.

"You fucking freak," Nibblewitz said breathily. "All you gnomes make me sick. You fucking twisted short little freaks."

Frodo cried. "But you are a gnome, Nibblewitz!"

Nibblewitz's voice changed to sound exactly like Bill Cosby. "I already told you, dumb fuck. I'm not Nibblewitz."

And then Nibble's body erupted in a white, brilliant light, and he transformed to Jiggulee the Erudite Enchanter. His penis turned long and thin and really got up in Frodo's guts.

"I am Jiggulee Hitler of <the Gnomish Extermination League>. And I am here to KILL YOU!" Jiggulee howled.

Frodo struggled under the grip of this mad Erudite. But he was rooted... and that penis was really gettin him feelin preetttttyy good.

Another flash of light. Jiggulee transformed into a dwarf. A human. AN OGRE.

The enchanter's penis became the size of a gnome - while still inside Frodo - and the poor gnomish cleric literally exploded on his dick. Bits of Frodo's meat splattered on the wall, on Jiggulee's Tolapumj robe. Frodo's eyeball rolled slowly in circles on the bedspread.

Jiggulee CUMMED HARD. He squirted hot ogre spunk onto the walls, gripping his penis in both hands and spinning around, giggling as his ooze coated the room in the ogre milk. THIS. THIS WAS WHAT HE HAD BEEN MISSING FROM EVERQUEST.

Once the cum finally stopped, Jiggulee sighed with a smile. He wiped the sweat off his head. His guild leader would be happy to hear that a level 60 gnomish cleric had died. Each cleric killed was like killing a thousand other gnomes, since that cleric could never rezz his malformed brethren. Jiggulee picked up Frodo's lone eyeball from the cum-splattered meat mush on every surface of the room.

"That's what you get for violating the p99 naming conventions," he whispered suddenly. Then he squished the eyeball in his hand and gated back to Erudin.

It was time to take a bath!

[Aeaolena]

Filbus is actually just joining the GM-staff as part of a long-term quest to give special preference to halflings and an opportunity lick the tears of high-tier guilds crying when they are banned.

As a trade for the job, he offered to delete his Filbus account - effectively meaning 20+ pages from the BDA to Phinigel thread will vanish, taking away that soon-to-be sweet-victory of getting to 1000 pages!

https://imgur.com/pHfyXPg.jpg

[skarlorn]

*cackles*

power word: FAGGOT

[d3r14k]

By the gods! He has lost his mind!

[YendorLootmonkey]

taking away that soon-to-be sweet-victory of getting to 1000 pages!

Don't underestimate us, it will just strengthen our resolve!!

[Jimjam]

This message is hidden because skarlorn is on your ignore list.

Nice try, Filbus!

[bigjeff100]

*cackles*

power word: FAGGOT

Oh no he didn't!!!!!!!!

[maskedmelon]

skarlorn was the most admirable and well rounded character to grace the project. still would like to see him manifest elsewhere. take care friend ^^/~

[kaev]

skarlorn was the most admirable and well rounded character to grace the project. still would like to see him manifest elsewhere. take care friend ^^/~

Truer words have never been posted to this forum

[booter]

Well you get banned for using like that

[d3r14k]

bigj and Rivera winning bravery awards on this day, the day of our savior, Tunare - God of Free Speech

[bigjeff100]

bigj and Rivera winning bravery awards on this day, the day of our savior, Tunare - God of Free Speech

Oh dang.. Didn't think about that.. All bravery aside.. I'll assume i'll be eating my first ban in due time?

[Hyjalx]

Best of luck Skarlorn

[d3r14k]

Can I have all your forum points before you get the axe?

[bigjeff100]

Can I have all your forum points before you get the axe?

:(

[kotton05]

An angel got their wings today

[ScaringChildren]

Lemme have your shit, Skarlorn.

[solleks]

Grats on graduating Elf Academy, cheers!

[Rekrul]

Oh dang.. Didn't think about that.. All bravery aside.. I'll assume i'll be eating my first ban in due time?

Your first ban will be for THEFT, and if it is not, it should've been.

[Patriam1066]

seek spiritual health and follow Christ wherever he leads

[Patriam1066]

https://i.imgur.com/DDtGwC7.png

[Kaight]

BYE! H.A.G.S! L.Y.L.A.S! Thank you for welcoming my Iksar into Rivervale Vanguard.

[mtb tripper the 2nd]

aw don't let Cecily bug ya. He's just a tranny

[Canelek]

He may troll like a common republitard, but he was our common-like republitart.

All the best, Filbus, and the first cider is on the house should you wander by my tasting room next year when it opens.

[Cecily]

aw don't let Cecily bug ya. He's just a tranny

Drugs

[Wonkie]

https://i.imgur.com/gEphLxN.jpg

[Muggens]

peace out , your scribblings will be missed

Go let ur light shine!

[Cecily]

https://i.imgur.com/uN6pWRD.png

[kaev]

https://i.imgur.com/uN6pWRD.png

I actually like Filbo better when he comes off more human and less RP, as he does there.

Same applies to you when you come off as more human and less posturing (RP is posturing, after all).

Way too many artificial assholes around this place.

[Cecily]

You ever consider my posturing is me being a human and my being a human is posturing? I haven’t but maybe...

[Cecily]

I actually like Filbo better when he comes off more human and less RP, as he does there.

Same applies to you when you come off as more human and less posturing (RP is posturing, after all).

Way too many artificial assholes around this place.

Yeah he’s a piece of shit though. The real me is a good person. The fake me isn’t. Unfortunately for dear Filbus here it’s the opposite. Fuck you good bye.

[Cecily]

It really wasn’t that long ago, so I hope you remember the context of that screenshot. It’s a frighteningly common theme, I’ve found, is people here being unable to separate their judgements of in-game moral character from the real person. I bitched out more than a few Rustle “friends” over this subject that night. I judge Filbus on who I perceive him to be IRL, which he purposely obfuscates ofc, but I’ve come to a judgement and he’s a POS.

[Cecily]

Just wish I was more readily able to stick those judgments. I came to the same conclusion a couple months ago and I wavered on that stance 2 or 3 times, maybe more since then. I don’t like torching friendships, but this guy.... I’m going accept a forum PK on him quitting (if he actually does) due to the name drop in OP.

Most people seem sad about it. Sorry.

[Tipsyer]

You ok?

[Cecily]

I was in a wake up and get energy drinks and a donut type of mood when I woke up at 3am. Remains to be seen, but I think I’m fine. Thank you for asking.

[Tipsyer]

She's caffeinated!

I predict a lovely Sunday nap in your future.

The real question though... what kind of donuts?

[Cecily]

Yesterday at 5am I went to Dunkin Donuts and got the best Boston cream donut ever (Boston Cream, boston cream?). That’s my favorite type of donut. I settled on Sheetz today at 4:30am and they had no Boston cream, Boston Cream, or boston creams so I got the worst ever peanut butter cream / chocolate iced donut ever. It was really bad.

Donuts, you see, are a time sensitive item. Freshly baked donuts are extremely good. Donuts sitting all day are horrible. I usually get an unhealthy impulse to eat a donut later in the day and Dunkin Donuts always, always fails me. Which is why yesterday was such a holy experience. Today was typical, if not unusually bad, so I’m done with donuts for awhile. Yes very, very caffeinated and I apologize lol.

[Nixtar]

The real question is, will Rivervale be safe when their champion is gone?

[Cecily]

Not to imply I thought Sheetz baked their own donuts, but I did ask the girl working there what time they put them in and she told me 3am so I figured fresh donut = good. Frankly my day is ruined.

[Wonkie]

The real question is, will Rivervale be safe when their champion is gone?

Deputy Jimjam will watch THE WALL now. Bristlebane bless him.

[Jimjam]

I'm a Zekker, good chance an 'Emergency' military Government will need to seize control from Rivervale's unstable, godless democracy.

[Nexii]

I'm a Zekker, good chance an 'Emergency' military Government will need to seize control from Rivervale's unstable, godless democracy.

Praise! I'm sure Neriak could send some assistance in return for halfling blood syrup and eyes. Only from those that dare dissent, of course.

[Wonkie]

I'm a Zekker, good chance an 'Emergency' military Government will need to seize control from Rivervale's unstable, godless democracy.

Fiddy Bobick says, ‘Well, it’s about blasted time! The ship was about to sink. Wickystick (https://wiki.project1999.com/Marshall_Lanena)finally managed to send the troops in!

[Baler]

Miss your posts Skarlorn, I hope all is well IRL!
:)

thought of this today and I laughed
https://i.imgur.com/BWug6pe.gif

[d3r14k]

Come back, Filbus! I know you are reading this thread you shit bird!

[Cylock]

Take care!

[mtb tripper the 2nd]

Drugs

There's nothing wrong with being confused about your chromosomes or genitals.

[Cecily]

There's nothing wrong with being confused about your chromosomes or genitals.

I actually need to get my chromosomes tested sometime. I’ve always had a strong suspicion I might have Klinefelter’s (XXY), not that knowing yes or no on that would change anything for me. It’d just be like an “oh” thing. All I know is that I seem to function way better on estrogen.

[imsorryGMs]

I actually need to get my chromosomes tested sometime. I’ve always had a strong suspicion I might have Klinefelter’s (XXY), not that knowing yes or no on that would change anything for me. It’d just be like an “oh” thing. All I know is that I seem to function way better on estrogen.

Do you hijack every thread and make it about you?

[shuklak]

Its really easy to see klinefelters too. The look is unmistakable. Like finding a 2 boxer red handed.

[Cecily]

Do you hijack every thread and make it about you?

No... other people make it about me and then I get yelled at for it. There’s worse crosses to bear, I suppose.

[Swish2]

No... other people make it about me and then I get yelled at for it. There’s worse crosses to bear, I suppose.

Welcome to the club.

[Cecily]

Quit stealing phrases I rightfully stole.

[Sonderbeast]

https://i.imgur.com/xo10flF.jpg

[Cecily]

Speaking of Magpies.. it was Skarlorn, but he gave the forum account to Greengrocer.

[bigjeff100]

Woah really cecily? I didnt know magpie was skarlorn haha!?

[Cecily]

Yeah.

[Zal22]

If he doesn't, who do you replace in the nice post gif?

[Jimjam]

Woah really cecily? I didnt know magpie was skarlorn haha!?

Magpie wan't a person, magpie was an ideal. Like Batman or Captain America.

[Jimjam]

Pouring out a Trollbrew by Magpie Brewery for posters not with us anymore.

https://i.imgur.com/dVVXKRJ.jpg

[Sonderbeast]

Pouring out a Trollbrew by Magpie Brewery for posters not with us anymore.

https://i.imgur.com/dVVXKRJ.jpg

+1 for magpie

[d3r14k]

+1 for magpie

Ah yes, MagpieRockyl, anagram for Gay Mop Licker. He is licking homosexual mops in heaven now, boys.

[bigjeff100]

Ah yes, MagpieRockyl, anagram for Gay Mop Licker. He is licking homosexual mops in heaven now, boys.

He like that Buckethead Wendy...
https://i.imgur.com/p36pM87.jpg

[Jimjam]

You can log out but you can never leave f5.

[d3r14k]

How is it possible Skarlorn did not eat a ban on the way out the door?

This was his final wish. He even cast the power word spells.