Kushie
06-03-2016, 09:21 PM
This source material is a real story that Raev wrote to demonstrate his 'wit and verbosity' as a Roleplayer.
I have acquired this from the ghost of Filbus, who admonishes the Cuck Raev's shameful performance on RNF.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K0E_1yzk_WfHWjntDUJ5O-t8_-Sl3FjPEejtEFlTLeo/edit
Chapter 1: Rinmark
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“Must we go through this again, Master Rinmark?!”
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“Grandmaster Glox assured me this was important! We have no time to waste!”
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“I had to swim across half of TImorous Deep to reach you! A piranha nearly bit off my tail!”
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“Very well, have it your way . . .”
[screenshot: raev saluting]
Master Glox sent me
over water, over hills,
for your direction
[screenshot: an iksar master]
Speak slowly, hatchling
when you have enlightenment
time itself pauses
Raev paused, with a hint of irritation. How many Haikus did the troublesome old coot plan to extract from him? As he desperately struggled for words that would meet the 5-7-5 meter, Rinmark spoke again.
“Very well, hatchling, I shall overcome my distaste for normal speech. I believe that the legendary combat manual of Talon Southpaw, greatest of the old iksar masters, has finally surfaced. It was stolen long ago by pirates and lost to the sight of even our greatest Hierophants. The Orcs of Crushbone, with the aid of thousands of slaves, found it buried beneath their city. You must journey to Faydwer and reclaim it. The orcs themselves will provide little opposition, but others may have sensed the power of the tome.”
Raev nodded. “The manual would be a tremendous aid for our struggling city, surrounded by its many foes.” And he could not help but add, “And I have been out of the egg for some time.”
Rinmark did not even twitch at the mild rebuke. After a slight pause, he began again.
Calm your mind, young Raev
Time and space are but nothing
Fists over matter.
Raev simply nodded, relieved that Master Rinmark had required only one Haiku. One of his fellow Swiftails had been stuck out in Timorous for months trying to satisfy him. “I shall depart for Crushbone at once”.
Chapter 2: Filbus
Raev arrived in Crushbone a wet and bedraggled mess. Even for a master of Ki, and at home in the water as he was, swimming across an ocean .
And that was probably why he .
Raev arrives in Crushbone and casually wipes out half of the zone (cool special effects like charming orcs, levitating them up into the trees so their corpses look real silly, intimidating them, etc). Barely able to understand their orcish gibberish, he nevertheless figures out that the slaves (i’m thinking the taskmaster area) have uncovered a treasure chest recently.
Filbus arrives on the scene (having been sent on a similar mission by some defender of the wall type dude) and being halfling/iksar they immediately begin to fight. It is a close battle but as Filbus steps back he steps on the chest. It explodes (gnomish fireworks!) throwing Raev and Filbus to the ground. Cautiously eyeing each other they open the chest. It contains a small note “I borrowed the book. X’Tinn”.
Raev explains that the “treasure” is likely to be a manual of monk training. Filbus is immediately disinterested as it does not involve gold and maidens, but then he looks at the name X’Tinn. The prospect of hundreds of dark-elf monks overwhelming the halflings of Nektulos does not appeal to him, and he agrees to help Raev retrieve the manual.
Chapter 3:
Raev and Filbus arrive at Neriak to find it tightly guarded. Fortunately, Filbus knows someone who can get them in, someone who sells illusion potions . . . for a price (Derubael/Sirken, if we can convince them of this). Our vendor wants an outrageous 20k but they get him drunk (raev being a GM brewer, I need to do this anyway for velious) and Filbus bargains him down to 1k.
Raev of course is a penniless monk, and Filbus has been on a drinking spree recently, but Filbus assures him not to worry and pulls out the latest Halfing Mercenary Times, assuring him that there is always some damsel in distress. They fight down to Lower Guk (dead side, ghoul lord) to rescue the princess, who of course turns out to be a Troll (me hug u! me so grateful. etc)
Just as they are about to leave, a powerful demon spawns and attacks them. It’s clear someone is not happy with their activities.
Chapter 4:
Our heroes get their DE potions and enter Neriak. They infiltrate quickly, but are distracted by a dark elf orgy (possibly with a third player actually taking part? I’m thinking maybe our vendor goes with them ‘to help them use the illusions’ and then trips them up). After they make it past, they go to the third gate and enter one of the houses. X’Tinn is no longer there, but they beat up his servant to learn his plan: He will summon demons and use the ancient monk training manual to power them up. Even now a legion is being trained in the Burning Woods. Suitably horrified, our heroes prepare to leave, but our third player has been too busy at the orgy and they are discovered. (oooh cliffhanger!)
Chapter 5:
Raev distracts them and pretends to die (getting thrown out with the garbage somehow) while Filbus sneaks out a tiny tunnel.
Raev undergoes special training from Master Rinmark, while Filbus raises the alarm in the vale.
Chapter 6:
An epic battle with like 50-100 PCs vs a similar numbers of mobs participating (should be fun). We can script a whole bunch of spawns, experiment a bit. The last boss can only be damaged by H2H attacks, but eventually everyone punches it down (good comedy). Hopefully we can fraps something cool.
Chapter 7:
Raev and Filbus return the manual to cabilis. Raev realizes the true power of fists and feet and gives his Tranquil Staff away, swearing to use only his fists from now on (going to suck, but its cool RP. And it looks awesome. AND I THINK THE WU’S FISTS ARE FISTS GODDAMNIT). Filbus is named an honorary Legionnaire.
Hopefully we can talk Nilbog/Sirken/Derubael into giving us an item or two; obviously not a particularly good one but something that would look cool at least.
I have acquired this from the ghost of Filbus, who admonishes the Cuck Raev's shameful performance on RNF.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K0E_1yzk_WfHWjntDUJ5O-t8_-Sl3FjPEejtEFlTLeo/edit
Chapter 1: Rinmark
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“Must we go through this again, Master Rinmark?!”
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“Grandmaster Glox assured me this was important! We have no time to waste!”
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“I had to swim across half of TImorous Deep to reach you! A piranha nearly bit off my tail!”
[screenshot: an iksar master]
“Very well, have it your way . . .”
[screenshot: raev saluting]
Master Glox sent me
over water, over hills,
for your direction
[screenshot: an iksar master]
Speak slowly, hatchling
when you have enlightenment
time itself pauses
Raev paused, with a hint of irritation. How many Haikus did the troublesome old coot plan to extract from him? As he desperately struggled for words that would meet the 5-7-5 meter, Rinmark spoke again.
“Very well, hatchling, I shall overcome my distaste for normal speech. I believe that the legendary combat manual of Talon Southpaw, greatest of the old iksar masters, has finally surfaced. It was stolen long ago by pirates and lost to the sight of even our greatest Hierophants. The Orcs of Crushbone, with the aid of thousands of slaves, found it buried beneath their city. You must journey to Faydwer and reclaim it. The orcs themselves will provide little opposition, but others may have sensed the power of the tome.”
Raev nodded. “The manual would be a tremendous aid for our struggling city, surrounded by its many foes.” And he could not help but add, “And I have been out of the egg for some time.”
Rinmark did not even twitch at the mild rebuke. After a slight pause, he began again.
Calm your mind, young Raev
Time and space are but nothing
Fists over matter.
Raev simply nodded, relieved that Master Rinmark had required only one Haiku. One of his fellow Swiftails had been stuck out in Timorous for months trying to satisfy him. “I shall depart for Crushbone at once”.
Chapter 2: Filbus
Raev arrived in Crushbone a wet and bedraggled mess. Even for a master of Ki, and at home in the water as he was, swimming across an ocean .
And that was probably why he .
Raev arrives in Crushbone and casually wipes out half of the zone (cool special effects like charming orcs, levitating them up into the trees so their corpses look real silly, intimidating them, etc). Barely able to understand their orcish gibberish, he nevertheless figures out that the slaves (i’m thinking the taskmaster area) have uncovered a treasure chest recently.
Filbus arrives on the scene (having been sent on a similar mission by some defender of the wall type dude) and being halfling/iksar they immediately begin to fight. It is a close battle but as Filbus steps back he steps on the chest. It explodes (gnomish fireworks!) throwing Raev and Filbus to the ground. Cautiously eyeing each other they open the chest. It contains a small note “I borrowed the book. X’Tinn”.
Raev explains that the “treasure” is likely to be a manual of monk training. Filbus is immediately disinterested as it does not involve gold and maidens, but then he looks at the name X’Tinn. The prospect of hundreds of dark-elf monks overwhelming the halflings of Nektulos does not appeal to him, and he agrees to help Raev retrieve the manual.
Chapter 3:
Raev and Filbus arrive at Neriak to find it tightly guarded. Fortunately, Filbus knows someone who can get them in, someone who sells illusion potions . . . for a price (Derubael/Sirken, if we can convince them of this). Our vendor wants an outrageous 20k but they get him drunk (raev being a GM brewer, I need to do this anyway for velious) and Filbus bargains him down to 1k.
Raev of course is a penniless monk, and Filbus has been on a drinking spree recently, but Filbus assures him not to worry and pulls out the latest Halfing Mercenary Times, assuring him that there is always some damsel in distress. They fight down to Lower Guk (dead side, ghoul lord) to rescue the princess, who of course turns out to be a Troll (me hug u! me so grateful. etc)
Just as they are about to leave, a powerful demon spawns and attacks them. It’s clear someone is not happy with their activities.
Chapter 4:
Our heroes get their DE potions and enter Neriak. They infiltrate quickly, but are distracted by a dark elf orgy (possibly with a third player actually taking part? I’m thinking maybe our vendor goes with them ‘to help them use the illusions’ and then trips them up). After they make it past, they go to the third gate and enter one of the houses. X’Tinn is no longer there, but they beat up his servant to learn his plan: He will summon demons and use the ancient monk training manual to power them up. Even now a legion is being trained in the Burning Woods. Suitably horrified, our heroes prepare to leave, but our third player has been too busy at the orgy and they are discovered. (oooh cliffhanger!)
Chapter 5:
Raev distracts them and pretends to die (getting thrown out with the garbage somehow) while Filbus sneaks out a tiny tunnel.
Raev undergoes special training from Master Rinmark, while Filbus raises the alarm in the vale.
Chapter 6:
An epic battle with like 50-100 PCs vs a similar numbers of mobs participating (should be fun). We can script a whole bunch of spawns, experiment a bit. The last boss can only be damaged by H2H attacks, but eventually everyone punches it down (good comedy). Hopefully we can fraps something cool.
Chapter 7:
Raev and Filbus return the manual to cabilis. Raev realizes the true power of fists and feet and gives his Tranquil Staff away, swearing to use only his fists from now on (going to suck, but its cool RP. And it looks awesome. AND I THINK THE WU’S FISTS ARE FISTS GODDAMNIT). Filbus is named an honorary Legionnaire.
Hopefully we can talk Nilbog/Sirken/Derubael into giving us an item or two; obviously not a particularly good one but something that would look cool at least.