Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute you met at a yard sale have beer and pot

[JayN]

Economic Stimulus – American Style

David HowardJanuary 28, 2014Economy



Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a;high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will ;go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or ; China.
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ;to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or Pot
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale, smoke a joint and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me

http://www.essentialprepper.com/econ...merican-style/

posters note..... Almost original.... :D

Enjoy your returns and remember think of America when spending your money

[hatelore]

Good post! I just got me a hot tatooed hooker who carries pot.and beer in her purse! We are otw to mexico to watch a soccer game! Woot! Ohh wait...

[Lune]

Article from right wing tinfoil hat website, complete with a Bible Gateway verse of the day. Classy.

http://i.imgur.com/exIKfYr.jpg

what is it with ignorant hicks and survival fantasies?

[Rhambuk]

Bravo sir! Well done!

[Kraftwerk]

We'll see who's laughing when the food crisis hits. Y'all are living in a fed fantasy land.

[Daldolma]

what is it with ignorant hicks and survival fantasies?

have you even seen red dawn

some of y'all gonna be so fucked

[hatelore]

Article from right wing tinfoil hat website, complete with a Bible Gateway verse of the day. Classy.

http://i.imgur.com/exIKfYr.jpg

what is it with ignorant hicks and survival fantasies?

You are a moran if you don't stock up homie~ Don't worry, I stocked up extra bullets to shoot you with when you come for my supply biotch~

[hatelore]

I will be sure to use my 22 rounds on you to, you know... to conserve my good ammo for things worth shooting :)

[Sidelle]

Article from right wing tinfoil hat website, complete with a Bible Gateway verse of the day. Classy.

http://i.imgur.com/exIKfYr.jpg

what is it with ignorant hicks and survival fantasies?

I keep bugout supplies in my big-ass movie theatre purse. What's wrong with that?

[runlvlzero]

You forget ball parks are owned by Saudi's

[runlvlzero]

And I'm pretty sure birth control chemicals comes from someone like Union Carbide.

[runlvlzero]

That rules out prostitution and baseball =/

[Lune]

I keep bugout supplies in my big-ass movie theatre purse. What's wrong with that?

Nothing I guess, as long as you aren't spending very much money on it. I just think it's funny, and I think it shows a bit about how you perceive humanity, and your state of mind. And it's almost always a certain type of people who get really into it, like it's a subculture based on fear and disregard for the social contract.

At any given time I have a decent stockpile of non-perishable food and water purification tools, etc, but that's because I actually go backpacking. It's actually a very reasonable thing to do for earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, etc. But look at those fucking ads. A crumbled statue of liberty? Come on

[Ahldagor]

why is that survival shows and movies always have pristine firearms that never seem to need maintenance?

[Ahldagor]

btw, i bought nothing but pot with the last one.

[Byrjun]

A crumbled statue of liberty? Come on

Dr. Michio Kaku (Harvard, Berkley, author of 2 NY Times best sellers on Physics, leading researcher on string theory) was predicting a 99% chance that humanity would destroy itself within the next 100 years. He's very recently changed that to 50%, however.

This is like, complete nuclear annihilation though. A bug out bag or a rifle isn't going to save you from that.

[Ahldagor]

Dr. Michio Kaku (Harvard, Berkley, author of 2 NY Times best sellers on Physics, leading researcher on string theory) was predicting a 99% chance that humanity would destroy itself within the next 100 years. He's very recently changed that to 50%, however.

This is like, complete nuclear annihilation though. A bug out bag or a rifle isn't going to save you from that.

could also be a meteor or asteroid impact. fear is a great motivator for people to do what you want them to do. and michio really likes his camera time.

[Ahldagor]

taken from Transcendental Studies: A Trilogy
by Keith Waldrop.



Angels go - we
merely stray, image of
a wandering deity, searching for
wells or for work. They scale
rungs of air, ascending
and descending - we are a little
lower. The grass covers us.

But statues, here, they stand, simple as
horizon. Statements,
yes - but what they stand for
is long fallen.

Angels of memory: they point
to the death of time, not
themselves timeless, and without
recall. Their
strength is to stand
still, afterglow
of an old religion.

One can imagine them
sentient - that is to say, we may
attribute to stone-hardness, one after the
other, our own five senses, until it spring
to life and
breathe and sneeze and step
down among us.


But in fact, they are
the opposite of perception: we
bury our gaze in them. For all my
sympathy, I
suppose they see
nothing at all, eyeless to indicate
our calamity, breathless and graceful
above the ruins they inspire.

I could close my eyes now and
evade, maybe, the blind
fear that their wings hold.

The visible body expresses our
body as a whole, its
internal asymmetries, and also the broken
symmetry we wander through.

With practice I might
regard people and things - the field
around me - as blots: objects
for fantasy, shadowy but
legible. All these
words have other meanings. A little
written may be far too
much to read.

A while and a while and a while, after a
while make something like forever.


From ontological bric-a-brac, and
without knowing quite what they
mean, I select my
four ambassadors: my
double, my shadow, my shining
covering, my name.

The graven names are not their
names, but ours.

Expectation, endlessly
engraved, is a question
to beg. Blemishes on exposed
surfaces - perpetual
corrosion - enliven features
fastened to the stone.

Expecting nothing without
struggle, I come to expect nothing
but struggle.

The primal Adam, our
archetype - light at his back, heavy
substance below him - glanced
down into uncertain depths, fell in
love with and fell
into his own shadow.


Legend or history: footprints
of passing events. Lord,
how our information
increaseth.

I see only
a surface - complex enough, its
interruptions of
deep blue - suggesting that the earth
is hollow, stretched around
what must be all the rest.

My "world" is parsimoniuos - a few
elements which
combine, like tricks of light, to
sketch the barest outline. But my
void is lavish, breaking
its frame, tempting me always to
turn again, again, for each
glimpse suggests more and more in some
other, farther emptiness.


To reach empty space, think
away each object - without destroying
its position. Ghostly then, with
contents gone, the
vacuum will not, as you
might expect, collapse, but
hang there,
vacant, waiting an inrush of
reappointments seven times
worse than anything you know, seven other dimensions
curled into our three.

But time empties, on
occasion, more quickly than
that. Breathe in our out. No
motion moves.

Trees go down, random and
planted, the
way we think.

The sacrificial animal is
consumed by fire, ascends in greasy
smoke, an offering
to the sky. Earthly
refuse assaults
heaven, as we are contaminated by
notions of eternity. It is as if
a love letter - or everything I
have written - were to be
torn up and the pieces
scattered, in
order to reach the beloved.

No entrance after
sundown. Under how vast a
night, what we call day.


What stands still is merely
extended - what
moves is in space.

Immobile figures, here in a
race with death gloom about their
heads like a dark nimbus.

Still, they do - while standing -
go: they've a motion
like the flow of water, like
ice, only slower. Our
time is a river, theirs
the glassy sea.

They drift, as
we do, in this garden so swank, so grandly
indiscriminate. Frail
wings, fingers too fragile. Their faces
freckle, weathering.

Pure spirit, saith the Angelic
Doctor. But not these
angels: pure visibility, hovering,
lifting horror into the day,
to cancel and preserve it.

The worst death, worse
than death, would be to die, leaving
nothing unfinished.

Somewhere in my life, there
must have been - buried now under
long accumulation - some extreme
joy which, never spoken, cannot
be brought to mind. How else, in this
unconscious city, could I have
such a sense of dwelling?

I would
raise . . . What's the opposite
of Ebenezer?

Night, with its crypt, its
cradlesong. Rage
for day's end: impatience,
like a boat in the evening. Toward
the horizon, as
down a sounding line. Barcarolle,
funeral march.

Nocturne at high noon.


if you'd like to listen to a great rendering of this then here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edq8NQPewks

[Estolcles]

I support the idea of spending money on pot. It's the healthiest way to spend on intoxicants.

[Sidelle]

Nothing I guess, as long as you aren't spending very much money on it. I just think it's funny, and I think it shows a bit about how you perceive humanity, and your state of mind. And it's almost always a certain type of people who get really into it, like it's a subculture based on fear and disregard for the social contract.

At any given time I have a decent stockpile of non-perishable food and water purification tools, etc, but that's because I actually go backpacking. It's actually a very reasonable thing to do for earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, etc. But look at those fucking ads. A crumbled statue of liberty? Come on

I feel dumb that I had to look up what you meant by "social contract". I honestly didn't know of such a thing. I read about it, and am sorry to say I could never trust it (do you?). I was raised differently, maybe? I don't know. Not judging, but to each their own (as long as they don't try to take mine against my will.) I have a kid to feed, too. :p

About perceiving humanity: Have you looked around lately?..

[hatelore]

About perceiving humanity: Have you looked around lately?..

Very true. I am not a survivalist nut but... It is good to be prepared.

To the guy talkin about prestine clean guns, Any good gun owner should be able to eat off his guns and burn good bud out of the barrel without worrying about smoking barrel fouling. Fer reel doe~

[hatelore]

Just be sure to put that sheen of oil in the barrel "after" smoking that good bud out of it. Gnomesayin?

[Reguiy]

I need a headcount of everyone who camps outside Walmart when a new ammo shipment is coming in. That way I can ignore them in an attempt to minimize my daily intake of retardation.

[Estolcles]

This thread is giving me ideas as for the only reason I'd own a gun.

Even though, legally speaking (considering laws in Virginia), I'm not allowed to own a gun due to having been in the mental hospital before with suicidal tendencies.

[Lune]

About perceiving humanity: Have you looked around lately?..

That's exactly what I mean when I say being a 'prepper' is a revealing thing-- you can be quite confident that is the perspective someone has if they prep, especially if it is guns and not just food. It's pretty much an outlook on humanity I share, though, but it definitely isn't universal.

[Byrjun]

My cousin and her husband are preppers and I can confirm that they're crazy and dumb.

[Byrjun]

Said cousin won't eat anything that came out of a microwave because "micro waves are unhealthy" but eats at Taco Bell nearly ever day.

[hatelore]

I need a headcount of everyone who camps outside Walmart when a new ammo shipment is coming in. That way I can ignore them in an attempt to minimize my daily intake of retardation.

I really, really , really fucking hate those people. They bring there entire family too, even the fucking kids are buying the 22 rounds. 3 boxes a piece. But that's Okay, I improvise. I trade on craigslist for the shit.

[Reguiy]

Ya...those people are crazy....sooo, how about that seasonally appropriate local sports team, eh?

[Origin]

Awesome thread.

[Bazia]

Shouldn't over clean your guns, it's not good for them.

[Kraftwerk]

Shouldn't over clean your guns, it's not good for them.

I have the same motto regarding showering.

[hatelore]

Shouldn't over clean your guns, it's not good for them.

Hey look, it's another guy on a gaming forum who has no idea wtf he is talking about. Shits classic yo~

[Raavak]

This thread is giving me ideas as for the only reason I'd own a gun.
I would never own a gun...

that I would admit to owning on an internet forum. Hi NSA!

[Songla]

I own a gun shop... but I don't own any myself either Raavak. Wouldn't think of it!

[Ahldagor]

nothing wrong with owning a firearm. just don't deny that when you hold that explosive phallus you're getting your rocks off testicles or not and that they are tools created to destroy.

[aowen]

Just because something was made in China doesn't mean that all the money goes to China when you buy it. This is retarded.