Dear the United States of America

[Hasbinbad]

n light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' '

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)

8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

Sincerely, Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

[Hastley]

Such an awesome statist you are hasbinfat

[Lune]

r u avvin a giggle m8?

ill hook u in the gabber i sware on me mum

[Estolcles]

me and my therapist would hate this idea.

ALSO... because I've been in the looney bin before, I already can't have a gun for hunting grouse. It's a repetitive law.

[Ahldagor]

john cleese this was snagged from.

lazy luddite is lazy and still a luddite

[Kagatob]

john cleese this was snagged from.

lazy luddite is lazy and still a luddite

[doeda]

tldr go

[susvain0362]

you think whoever the president is it really matters? like the president can actually do/change anything? too many people everything has to go through, four years just isnt enough to do anything. so stop QQ'ing about "murica elected dum politicians that dont know anything" because it really dont matter who the pres is.

[Bazia]

you can tell when the blue server isn't doing well because of HBB/tranny thread spam

[radditsu]

Lol cause England is being so fiscally responsible and doing great! Oh wait they have had a true recession for awhile now. Good job.

[Arclyte]

I am 60 pounds overweight and my girlfriend left me for an attractive white man, so now I pretend to be edgy and "progressive", when really I'm just a fat cuckholded faggot

No one cares about your shitty political opinions you emasculated slob

[Zadrian]

Why don't you go see a therapist, or a prostitute.


I've done both of those things!


































































































































in GTA 5

[Champion_Standing]

No one cares about your shitty political opinions you emasculated slob

[Ryba]

http://i.imgur.com/1Uirw.png

[Rhambuk]

Democracy has finally failed, blame obama or the dems or the reps whatever but it only worked for a few hundred years. It simply cannot support the kind of population we have. Bring back communism or pure anarchy, im done with letting 50-100 jackasses make all the decisions regardless of what people think/want its nonsense and its time to end it.

Rhambuk, anti-american.

[Daldolma]

blame obama.

edited to remove raving stupidity

[doeda]

edited to remove raving stupidity

[Fael]

First funny thing ive seen you post in a while. GG.

But, Lol at euro zone telling us how to manage our finances.

Dolic

[Rhambuk]

edited to remove raving stupidity

I blame your fake god, that old man in the clouds is the source of all evil in the world.

Mass bible burnings and church shutdowns imo. the world would be infinitely better.

[Ryba]

You think a single president has enough power to destroy the country in two terms? And your evidence for that is Obama's administration?

Do you understand that economies operate on cycles much longer than 8 years? Do you care that George Bush, Jr. has been shoved in the closet by his own party, because his presidency was so awful that he is now untouchable by GOP candidates?

But it is the fault of the black guy who has been here for 6 years, presiding over a recession he didn't cause and working against an epically dysfunctional Congress?

This is willful ignorance. Obama might not be steering the ship perfectly, but neither did he wreck it. The U.S. will be fine, despite your perverse desire to see it fail with Obama in charge. Your freedom to spend your shitty paystub on handguns you don't need while you masturbate to hideous and confused shemales will continue to be protected.

[Rhambuk]

My new favorite RNFer, Ryba.

[Hasbinbad]

Thread success.

[Champion_Standing]

You think a single president has enough power to destroy the country in two terms? And your evidence for that is Obama's administration?

Do you understand that economies operate on cycles much longer than 8 years? Do you care that George Bush, Jr. has been shoved in the closet by his own party, because his presidency was so awful that he is now untouchable by GOP candidates?

But it is the fault of the black guy who has been here for 6 years, presiding over a recession he didn't cause and working against an epically dysfunctional Congress?

This is willful ignorance. Obama might not be steering the ship perfectly, but neither did he wreck it. The U.S. will be fine, despite your perverse desire to see it fail with Obama in charge. Your freedom to spend your shitty paystub on handguns you don't need while you masturbate to hideous and confused shemales will continue to be protected.

LOL @ the guy who thinks Bush and Obama are governing differently.

[Hasbinbad]

People who do not understand the word "fascism" shouldn't use it.

[r00t]

FUCK Europe, ESPECIALLY the fucking redcoats

btw we have wayyy better beer

[r00t]

The only acceptable english beer, if you pour some out for 'pac

http://i.imgur.com/0oMnTDj.jpg

(btw, its brewed in 'Merica)

[Ahldagor]

Thread success.

http://static.tumblr.com/ugfdeir/PfAmdjsxr/wile_e_coyote__genius.jpg

[Ryba]

LOL @ the guy who thinks Bush and Obama are governing differently.

I don't like either of the motherfuckers, but only one of them is persona non grata in his own party. My point is there is a weird amount of vitriol directed at Obama for what is nothing worse than another lackluster presidency.

You have to be a political suit to be the president. You have to be naive to think otherwise. Unfortunately, Obama doesn't have Clinton-style good ol' boy status and he talks too much shit to make friends on the hill. But at least he has a political future after his second term, and he didn't start a 2.4 trillion dollar war.

[Daldolma]

I don't like either of the motherfuckers, but only one of them is persona non grata in his own party. My point is there is a weird amount of vitriol directed at Obama for what is nothing worse than another lackluster presidency.

You have to be a political suit to be the president. You have to be naive to think otherwise. Unfortunately, Obama doesn't have Clinton-style good ol' boy status and he talks too much shit to make friends on the hill. But at least he has a political future after his second term, and he didn't start a 2.4 trillion dollar war.

is it better or worse that democrats haven't disowned obama on the basis of being bush 3.0

[Kagatob]

is it better or worse that democrats haven't disowned obama on the basis of being bush 3.0

He'd have to be Bush 3.0 for that statement to make any sense.

[Hasbinbad]

Troy you really should stay out of conversations about politics.

[Kagatob]

I'm a non-statist

What?

[Hastley]

What?

Kagatib go back to the kids table. Let the grown ups talk.

Thanks little guy. Two scoops of ice cream after dinner for being such a good boy

[Hasbinbad]

Kagatib go back to the kids table. Let the grown ups talk.

Thanks little guy. Two scoops of ice cream after dinner for being such a good boy
*beams a fond look at his spouse Hastley*
We've raised a fine young pony.

[katrik]

*beams a fond look at his spouse Hastley*
We've raised a fine young pony.

lol

[Recycled Children]

he didn't start a 2.4 trillion dollar war.

He didn't stop it either, he voted to go to war, he wanted to extend the war and continues to kill brown people everyday. You're anti-war candidate is a blood thirsty war monger.

[Kagatob]

At least you've gotten to the point where you are sucking each other's dicks all on your own. Now take it to PMs.

[mtb tripper]

you think whoever the president is it really matters? like the president can actually do/change anything? too many people everything has to go through, four years just isnt enough to do anything. so stop QQ'ing about "murica elected dum politicians that dont know anything" because it really dont matter who the pres is.

Like I say, our politicians aren't deciding shit, the lobbyist are.

[Kagatob]

So much talk so little action, at least man up and admit that you cowards don't have the balls to actively change anything (voting for green party literally does nothing).

Keep stating that politicians are corrupt like it's news to the world. Keep pointing out lobbyist control because obviously we're all blind to it. Keep pushing that the two party system doesn't work because stating it will change things for the better.

Same shit different thread. If any of you actually gave half of a rats ass about anything you wouldn't be wasting time posting about it when you could be out doing something about it.

Go slay a pixelated dragon or something, that's all you are good for. Hell about half of you couldn't even achieve that.

[Champion_Standing]

So much talk so little action, at least man up and admit that you cowards don't have the balls to actively change anything (voting for green party literally does nothing).

Keep stating that politicians are corrupt like it's news to the world. Keep pointing out lobbyist control because obviously we're all blind to it. Keep pushing that the two party system doesn't work because stating it will change things for the better.

Same shit different thread. If any of you actually gave half of a rats ass about anything you wouldn't be wasting time posting about it when you could be out doing something about it.

Go slay a pixelated dragon or something, that's all you are good for. Hell about half of you couldn't even achieve that.

http://popbabble.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/tobey-maguire-crying.jpg

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

Little do you realize, America knows where all the powerups are.

[mishurza]

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.


Guess you missed the craft beer revolution huh? Everyone got so tired of the commercial garbage they kept telling us we wanted that they started brewing their own and apparently we are good at it. At least 142 different commercial breweries in Michigan alone.

[radditsu]

Guess you missed the craft beer revolution huh? Everyone got so tired of the commercial garbage they kept telling us we wanted that they started brewing their own and apparently we are good at it. At least 142 different commercial breweries in Michigan alone.

I seem to see more craft and microbrew's in a fucking GROCERY STORE now than normal bud light garbage. If you live your life in a gas station like I am thinking good ol HBB does...yes it is mostly domestic horse urine. If you go to any bar, you can get a bouquet of fine beers and liquors.

However that being said I do love a nice dark cold Guinness...except when its in a bottle. It gets super weird in a bottle for some reason.

[Estolcles]

Why fuck around...

http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID18340/images/PabstBlueRibbon.jpg

Get drunk and get into a fight. No need for sophistication with your beer.

[radditsu]

I love the fact that HBB continues to bring up problems and issues with America that were normal everyday issues 5-8 years ago. Must not have much human contact, or nostalgic for a bygone age of George W Bush and Dick "Bubblegum" Cheney.


Hey bro, the president is like...mostly black, beer is fine, SNL has good and bad seasons, and multinational Chinese restaurants are great. Blending cultures has always produced great food and can, along with robust trade, create a great new thing.


http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/27100000/Anthony-Bourdain-anthony-bourdain-27194023-540-720.jpg

PS: Heroine is cheaper now than when the war on drugs started. Why don't you please get hooked on that and go die in a ditch. You racist white fat dildo-sucking reddit fuck.

[Recycled Children]

I love the fact that HBB continues to bring up problems and issues with America that were normal everyday issues 5-8 years ago. Must not have much human contact, or nostalgic for a bygone age of George W Bush and Dick "Bubblegum" Cheney.


Hey bro, the president is like...mostly black, beer is fine, SNL has good and bad seasons, and multinational Chinese restaurants are great. Blending cultures has always produced great food and can, along with robust trade, create a great new thing.


http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/27100000/Anthony-Bourdain-anthony-bourdain-27194023-540-720.jpg

PS: Heroine is cheaper now than when the war on drugs started. Why don't you please get hooked on that and go die in a ditch. You racist white fat dildo-sucking reddit fuck.

I wish I could save these comments against HBB so when people start defending him or begin to like him I could refer them the huge compendium of all the comments made against him.

[Ahldagor]

noticed that about guinness too. if you ever get a chance to take the brewery tour i recommend it because you get a panoramic view of dublin with your pint.

[Hasbinbad]

PS: Heroine is cheaper now than when the war on drugs started. Why don't you please get hooked on that and go die in a ditch. You racist white fat dildo-sucking reddit fuck.
Thread success.

[Hasbinbad]

I wish I could save these comments against HBB so when people start defending him or begin to like him I could refer them the huge compendium of all the comments made against him.
i love fan fiction, so i would rly appreciate it if you went through and gathered everything into one spot. i'll even sig a link if u do.

[Recycled Children]

i love fan fiction, so i would rly appreciate it if you went through and gathered everything into one spot. i'll even sig a link if u do.

People not liking you is non-fiction.

[Hasbinbad]

but they non-like me for fictitious reasons, usually writing stories about it replete with false attribution .. basically there is an entire mythos of hbb-beliefs that have nothing to do with what i actually think. i just encourage it at this point, its like my very own star wars fan edit community

[Hasbinbad]

of course some material will be factual, but half the fun is encouraging strife over which is which.

[Hasbinbad]

for instance, radditsu hates me for being racist. i encourage him to keep spreading his art.

[runlvlzero]

Your shit about politics is annoying. Buy guns and ammo and combat training so you will be of use during the coming downfall and STFU.

[Hasbinbad]

Your shit about politics is annoying.
you must realize that this kind of thing only encourages me

[Ahldagor]

we get that you don't care hbb, it's sad how your ego reveals your impotency

[Champion_Standing]

you must realize that this kind of thing only encourages me

Happy 13th Birthday?

[Ahldagor]

john cleese this was snagged from.

lazy luddite is lazy and still a luddite

[Hasbinbad]

we get that you don't care hbb, it's sad how your ego reveals your impotency
while in contrast, your forum posts on a forum for nerds about a emulator for a 14 year old elf simulator are "potent," eh?

lololololol

[radditsu]

while in contrast, your forum posts on a forum for nerds about a emulator for a 14 year old elf simulator are "potent," eh?

lololololol

Yawn


Your heart just ain't in it bro

[Ahldagor]

radditsu gets it

[Hasbinbad]

my heart hasn't been in it since the wait for kunark

[radditsu]

Troll with your whole heart or don't troll at all

[Ahldagor]

my heart hasn't been in it since the wait for kunark

your impotency grows by the day