I just got out of my first detox today

[susvain0362]

Today marks day six of bein clean from heroin! That's a big deal for me it's the longest I've had in two and a half years. Dope has ruined my life in every aspect progressively. It's killed my school grades that Umass has me suspended for a year for shitty grades when I have twelve classes left for my bachelors. My parents and family are beyond disappointed and upset and I've lost many friends I've had since elementary school. I've been arrested twice and lost two jobs because I'm a worthless junkie. Everyday I would wake up sick and look and my phone for my friends hitting me up figuring out what we can steal or how we're gonna come up.

I'm trying to get clean now because if I'm not ill be homeless or in jail. No doubt about it. If you ever grouped with me and wondered why I suddenly was running into a wall and not responsive now you know. Dope has even ruined EQ because once you mix it with dope it's hard to play it sober.

Much love to my friends who've put up with me and tried to help in the past nomie and bonethugg and others

[susvain0362]

I'm on suboxone ow but I want to get off it fairly soon like a month at longest

[gotrocks]

I had a nice long message typed up, then i hit backspace. Shit.

Find a support group (whether thats AA/NA or group therapy, whatever) because the fact that you're posting this here shows me you probably don't have a ton of sober people looking out for you. You're definitely going to need that in the next ~ year. Don't be afraid to stay on suboxone as long as you need it, that drug saves lives.

Most of all goodluck. Sincerely happy to hear you're starting your journey towards no longer being a slave. Just remember that this is just the start. You have a long road ahead of you.

[Estolcles]

I had a nice long message typed up, then i hit backspace. Shit.

Find a support group (whether thats AA/NA or group therapy, whatever) because the fact that you're posting this here shows me you probably don't have a ton of sober people looking out for you. You're definitely going to need that in the next ~ year. Don't be afraid to stay on suboxone as long as you need it, that drug saves lives.

Most of all goodluck. Sincerely happy to hear you're starting your journey towards no longer being a slave. Just remember that this is just the start. You have a long road ahead of you.

Just stay away from Narcanon. That's some Scientologist bullshit there.

[Versus]

Fix yourself or you'll be in jail or dead. Junk is a killer.

[Itap]

Congrats on trying to get clean and not wind up dead in an alley somewhere

[Era'viss]

Haha. EQ and drugs. Now that's how you lose a corpse.

[Kevynne]

Haha. EQ and drugs. Now that's how you lose a corpse.

True story.... :)

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

Opiates and cocaine will drop you off curbside in hell in >6 months. They are evil shits.

Find a support group and go to it and listen to people also coming back. Only they will truly understand what your deal is, and will become your best friends during this period of your life.

And never, ever tell yourself you can ever fuck with this shit again. Zero. Don't worry. Sobriety is actually pretty cool. Once the monkey is genuinely and really off your back, it feels like a whole new life and a whole new world.

Best of luck, and don't ever fuckin touch that shit again

[Reapin]

Today marks day six of bein clean from heroin! That's a big deal for me it's the longest I've had in two and a half years. Dope has ruined my life in every aspect progressively. It's killed my school grades that Umass has me suspended for a year for shitty grades when I have twelve classes left for my bachelors. My parents and family are beyond disappointed and upset and I've lost many friends I've had since elementary school. I've been arrested twice and lost two jobs because I'm a worthless junkie. Everyday I would wake up sick and look and my phone for my friends hitting me up figuring out what we can steal or how we're gonna come up.

I'm trying to get clean now because if I'm not ill be homeless or in jail. No doubt about it. If you ever grouped with me and wondered why I suddenly was running into a wall and not responsive now you know. Dope has even ruined EQ because once you mix it with dope it's hard to play it sober.

Much love to my friends who've put up with me and tried to help in the past nomie and bonethugg and others


You are blaming Heroin for the damage your EQ has done to your life. Be honest dude, you might be able to save Tiggles and Jeremys lives.

[Barkingturtle]

If you need someone to talk to mtb tripper smoked crack the other night so he knows what you're going through.

[susvain0362]

I inject crack. You need to dissolve it with vinegar juice. Shits killed my veins over the past year.

A lot of your replies are giving me big smiles thank you for genuine responses

[Wrench]

If you need someone to talk to mtb tripper smoked crack the other night so he knows what you're going through.

no, fahndango needs to stay away from the hardcore crackheads like mtb tripper, theyll only bring him back down

[Era'viss]

I inject crack. You need to dissolve it with vinegar juice. Shits killed my veins over the past year.

A lot of your replies are giving me big smiles thank you for genuine responses

Ever get all gourmet and use some high dollar vinegar? Shoot up some balsamic or red wine vinegar?

[susvain0362]

Yea the bottle was empty and thankfully my friends mom had red wine vinegar. My buddy blamed it for making his arm all sickly and giving him an abscess. We used it for a few days then my family had some white vinegar juice I took

[Estolcles]

Two things:
1) Seriously, Narcanon is Scientologist bullshit. Stick with AA since they take in addicts of all sorts.
2) You might actually want to quit EQ. At least a quarter of the server (my guess) are stoners. While weed wasn't your drug of choice, you'll still be around other users.

Stay strong, and one day you'll be able to look back on these years as mistakes you can learn from, instead of not being able to look back because you're dead.

[Barkingturtle]

Stealing vinegar is low son.

[Era'viss]

Yea the bottle was empty and thankfully my friends mom had red wine vinegar. My buddy blamed it for making his arm all sickly and giving him an abscess. We used it for a few days then my family had some white vinegar juice I took

Sounds like that stuff is better for cooking dinners.

Stay strong and sober!

[susvain0362]

This. Find some sober people, and knuckle down. Find someone to manage your money, someone who will dole out an allowance $20 at a time only, and will tell you to fuck off when you come up with some bullshit excuse for more to score. Change your phone number, etc., etc. You know what you have to do. Now get on with it.

I have no money. I cashed out my 401k and over drafted at Bank of America and citizens bank. Problem is I have a bridge suboxone script and on Friday I have an appointment and ill be getting on it full time. I can get them off for ten and fifteen street value and ima have like 30 at a time.

[Estolcles]

He's talking about his friend getting an abscess, and I end up thinking back to Jared Leto's arm at it's worst towards the end in "Requiem For A Dream".

[Reapin]

Two things:
1) Seriously, Narcanon is Scientologist bullshit. Stick with AA since they take in addicts of all sorts.
2) You might actually want to quit EQ. At least a quarter of the server (my guess) are stoners. While weed wasn't your drug of choice, you'll still be around other users.



Good advice. If you do quit, consider donating your gear to the best All Rogue guild on the server. Order of the Silent Hand.

I will make sure the goods go to deserving people who will immortalize you in their character Inspect screens.

[susvain0362]

I gave my fess to a monk in my guild to borrow a couple months ago since I've been on break. If u find him u have my permission to borrow it now

[susvain0362]

Fbss

[Reapin]

I have an fbss but thank you.

[Era'viss]

Shit I need a FBSS for my paladin if your just handing stuff out.

[susvain0362]

I told u I don't have it. I forget the guys name too. He is suppose to be borrowing it but maybe he'll share!

[Bazia]

I dunno what kind of privileged lifestyle that would lead to heroin use, that you would even consider using it in the first place is mind blowing to me.

A lot of us have no room to fuck up with our backs against the wall, can't afford to take risks like trying hardcore drugs for shits and giggles.

No sympathy here.

Try to stay out of jail or the ER as both will cost the rest of us money.

[gotrocks]

This. Find some sober people, and knuckle down. Find someone to manage your money, someone who will dole out an allowance $20 at a time only, and will tell you to fuck off when you come up with some bullshit excuse for more to score. Change your phone number, etc., etc. You know what you have to do. Now get on with it.

this is really, really good advice. I had typed up something similar to this in my original post that i accidentally backspaced out of.

I dunno what kind of privileged lifestyle that would lead to heroin use, that you would even consider using it in the first place is mind blowing to me.

A lot of us have no room to fuck up with our backs against the wall, can't afford to take risks like trying hardcore drugs for shits and giggles.

No sympathy here.

Try to stay out of jail or the ER as both will cost the rest of us money.

Why even post if you don't have something nice to say? Heroin addiction is serious, and he's clearly in a really bad place right now. I don't see why you'd try to bring him down like this.

Also, you claim to have smoked/smoke weed, which is a drug regardless of how 'hardcore' it is. I'm not saying you should have any sympathy for him, but you could refrain from saying anything at all.

good luck, op. I am rooting for you. You CAN beat a serious heroin addiction, you just have to really want it.

Don't you dare sell those subs. That shit is going to save your life. You're going to regret it if you get rid of them.

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

gl to you pal, its a long journey, some people have no dignity for people who have tried drugs, i know everything about being in the gutter and overcoming it, best of luck.

[Hasbinbad]

just one more time couldn't hurt right?

[Hasbinbad]

I mean as long as it's the last time..

[susvain0362]

Baffin this is rajohn rondo the erudite paladin, I believe you have a SS of me next to an Oskar named Kobe Bryant. Can you post it please

[susvain0362]

I respect what Bazia/razia said. It's true. I'm privileged to fuck up so bad and still have a home and a computer to use. I'm living with my family again and it's great to have support and it forces me to feel the guilt from some of the damage I've done

[Stibe]

You're going to relapse. It sucks, but keep at it.

[Stibe]

Hey dickfuck. When we gonna do that thing for the lulz?

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

miss your trolling relapse rnf is boring without you. pras

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

lol

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

going up that way soon we should go bang some fat slutz at a random pub

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

aww yisss

[Stibe]

Even the worst sluts in these redneck bars here in Alabama still looks better than Gotrock's trashy looking girl LOL

I enjoyed my post in that thread to much. She really does look like a young John Stewart.

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

say what m8?

stibe lookin like jabba the hut

[Stibe]

say what m8?

stibe lookin like jabba the hut

u wot m8

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

duel me irl

[Stibe]

duel me irl

Its on. Strippers at dawn.

[susvain0362]

Taking it a day at a time. Looks like this day is over ill be going to bed after watching a little more breaking bad. Cheer me on tomorrow! I'm gonna make it a full week! <3 bodeanicus

[Gaffin Deeppockets]

keep at it stay strong pal

[kingsBlend]

http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/requiem-for-a-dream-waynes-leto.jpg

[susvain0362]

That's basically my routine. Sold my ps3 and all of my shit. Cvs/Walgreens don't even put 90dollar android phones behind the counter in the suburban area of mine. You can boost them no problem and take them to a bodega and get half price. Home Depot and loses don't need a receipt to return things for store credit gift card.

[Estolcles]

http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/requiem-for-a-dream-waynes-leto.jpg

This.

Awesome movie. Major mindfuck. Jennifer Connolly (SP?) bush. Five stars.

[kingsBlend]

Home Depot and loses don't need a receipt to return things for store credit gift card.

Which then you can use to buy items on cash receipts you find in the parking lot / trash cans and return for cash, keeps you well :cool:

[kingsBlend]

This.

Awesome movie. Major mindfuck. Jennifer Connolly (SP?) bush. Five stars.

Ass to ass!

[susvain0362]

I know it's pretty babe - but I didn't take it out for air

[susvain0362]

Which then you can use to buy items on cash receipts you find in the parking lot / trash cans and return for cash, keeps you well :cool:

You just find the right guy to buy your card half price. Gotta know your customer

[Estolcles]

Ass to ass!

Gotta love double ended dildos with a woman at each end.

[FoxxHound]

Haha. EQ and drugs. Now that's how you lose a corpse.

bahahaha

[JayN]

one of my all time favorites films

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B74XtRc-CU

[Tecmos Deception]

Am I the only cynical asshole who only wants to comment in this thread to say "No wonder Fahndango was such a retard in the http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?t=110154 thread" instead of congratulating him on (probably not) kicking a bad habit?

[Tecmos Deception]

I don't really remember the details of that thread, I guess.

Reread it, I guess he wasn't a total retard. Oh well.

[susvain0362]

Am I the only cynical asshole who only wants to comment in this thread to say "No wonder Fahndango was such a retard in the http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?t=110154 thread" instead of congratulating him on (probably not) kicking a bad habit?

If you read the thread you see both people who hated me later apologized and said it was a mistake but I can resell both stories if you want.

First one was I traveled 30mins to a fm giant fort group and twenty mins into the group they kickme because I was aft. I kept nodding off at the keyboard and like an asshole I was being greedy and wanted the exp. I blamed my ark on the dog like a dummy. Anyway so I get lost running to OT and die and begin a two hour CR where I pay a bard all of my plat which is like 400 to find my body and bring it to the fort. The cleric there was in the group and didn't want to Rez me. Which is fair I suppose. So I offer her 200plat to do it and she finally agrees and rezzez me but I didn't pay her and called her a cunt.

Second story is we're in solb royals and ex pin away after a bit I said "I hope none of y'all *****s leave". The new dude some monk instantly flipped out and left the group and posted here like the above cleric. I ended up Larkin to the monk in tells right away and in five minutes we were friends.

Ohhhhnooo what a bad guy

[susvain0362]

And I wasn't two boxing. I had a Druid friend run me to the fort and stay to buf and help out for a lol bit. His name is jasper. Cool guy

[susvain0362]

Andddddddd I relapsed. Waste of twenty bucks because I barely got a rush. Sit was suppose to be good this kids been hyping it up for weeks but perhaps the suboxone built up from the day prior and the week partially blocked it. Afterwards I felt horrible for using and it's making me not want to use again. I wish I would of just taken subs today that's how I feel. I miss having a streak of seven days. Using today has made me more against dope then I was prior. I'm all set to use tomorrow after my doctors appointment. After the shot tomorrow I'm gonna stick with it and try to beat my mark of seven days. I already feel bad about tomorrow so well see.

[Reapin]

Get new friends. Eliminate anyone in your life that uses. Until then you will keep failing at life.

[Estolcles]

Get new friends. Eliminate anyone in your life that uses. Until then you will keep failing at life.

This.

I'm now in the middle of week 4 without weed. I've not been enjoying this time, but I know I can beat this addiction (mental, not physical).

You faltered today. All you can do is start over tomorrow, and stay clean.

[Loli Pops]

http://i.imgur.com/2Rv1JXz.jpg

[Estolcles]

Dude, you failed so horribly. Get help... or the Prenerf Twinkies will get you!

[susvain0362]

Dude, you failed so horribly. Get help... or the Prenerf Twinkies will get you!

Failed? Is that anyway to look at it? I had 7 days clean hat is the most in two and a half years. I knew on Friday this friend of mine who has issues of his own gets crack and dope and wants me to come hang out so I knew Friday night I'd be doing some speedball shots. But I think I'm gonna eat some subuxome tomorrow and stay clean til Friday when I get piss tested again. You can pass a piss test in two days but I ain't risking it because I'll be kicked off u suboxone if I test positive.

And each time I've used I've felt bad and guilty which is something I haven't before but this may no last. I want and am ready to be clean more than anytime before. I want to want to be clean more than anything in the world.

[susvain0362]

Bret Hart is my #1 all time and I love Eddie Guerrero. I haven't been watching as much since punk lost the belt and I only started watching since punks epic pipe bomb. And I stopped watching when Austin broke his neck and was off tv for a year in the late 90s. But e Wyatt family is the best thing to happen in along time I like their gimmick a lot but I a haven't seen any wrestle. My favorite one is the one with the black beard, not bray.

[Stibe]

Failed? Is that anyway to look at it? I had 7 days clean hat is the most in two and a half years. I knew on Friday this friend of mine who has issues of his own gets crack and dope and wants me to come hang out so I knew Friday night I'd be doing some speedball shots. But I think I'm gonna eat some subuxome tomorrow and stay clean til Friday when I get piss tested again. You can pass a piss test in two days but I ain't risking it because I'll be kicked off u suboxone if I test positive.

And each time I've used I've felt bad and guilty which is something I haven't before but this may no last. I want and am ready to be clean more than anytime before. I want to want to be clean more than anything in the world.

"I want to be clean more than anything, but I'm going to do some drugs later and here is my excuse"

You're pathetic.

[Bazia]

" I want to be clean, but I keep taking drugs. "

Sounds like you want to keep taking drugs

[Karkona]

Give up your meaningless struggle, grab a kitchen a knife and go into the wilderness and wait for your deity to give you a good death.

[Malice_Mizer]

So you're suspended briefly from UMass, have a semester until graduation, and your parents are "disappointed," but your life is somehow "ruined"?

Good Christ, this is some first-world mother fucking privilege shit talking here. Give me a god damned break, loser.

[MaksimMazor]

http://i.imgur.com/2Rv1JXz.jpg

One of the greatest pictures I have ever seen

[MaksimMazor]

So you're suspended briefly from UMass, have a semester until graduation, and your parents are "disappointed," but your life is somehow "ruined"?

Good Christ, this is some first-world mother fucking privilege shit talking here. Give me a god damned break, loser.

I was academically suspended from Harvard that season and I couldn't race in the regatta, needless to say, my parents didn't buy me a new Mercedes.

[Greegon]

I inject crack. You need to dissolve it with vinegar juice. Shits killed my veins over the past year.

A lot of your replies are giving me big smiles thank you for genuine responses

Good lord I've heard of injecting the salts but not the rocks. Good luck though bro, you can do it. I quit snortin coke cold turkey and luckily I didn't fuck my life up too bad cuz it was when I was 16-18 and still in highschool... You can do it, when you're ready to quit and absolutely want it it can happen-it's difficult but not impossible (i imagine the rock is harder to quit though, never done it)

Just think of all the scumbag shit you did to get more, and how after a while you don't really get that high anyways. No one truly wants to live that embarrassing shit life

[thugcruncher]

http://i.imgur.com/GwF8wz1.jpg

[susvain0362]

So you're suspended briefly from UMass, have a semester until graduation, and your parents are "disappointed," but your life is somehow "ruined"?

Good Christ, this is some first-world mother fucking privilege shit talking here. Give me a god damned break, loser.

I'm a year and a half from graduating. 12 or 13 classes left. That's three semesters. I said I've been ruining every aspect of my life for the past three years. Which is true, anything good or positive I've just been fucking it up and making worse. I also pay for college dummy not my family.

[susvain0362]

Besides, I'm two days clean. I'm definitely gonna make it this time!

[susvain0362]

"I want to be clean more than anything, but I'm going to do some drugs later and here is my excuse"

You're pathetic.

*i want to want to be clean.
It's not the same as I want to be clean. Despite fucking up everything I have going for me I still want to get high. I would love to want to be clean and just stop. But I still dont

[susvain0362]

That's another day clean *****!

[Lune]

Is it true that death by heroin would be a bit like death by orgasm?

[susvain0362]

Yeye. I even have enough money to go cop but I'm not. But that's cause I really need to pass my piss test friday. But after that I don't plan on grabbing! Got Omar counseling tomorrow from 9am-noon!!!!! Hopefully more hot junkie broads who don't have hep c or aids will come and be desperate for suboxone !! That's when I strike

[susvain0362]

Fucking iPad posting. I got another counseling session tomorrow. Nothing to do with Omar idk how iPad auto corrected and put Omar there

[Estolcles]

Yeye. I even have enough money to go cop but I'm not. But that's cause I really need to pass my piss test friday. But after that I don't plan on grabbing! Got Omar counseling tomorrow from 9am-noon!!!!! Hopefully more hot junkie broads who don't have hep c or aids will come and be desperate for suboxone !! That's when I strike

Pussy instead of drugs! Follow that path!

[susvain0362]

There's always the 18-23age hot junk box chicks try a stay clean but don't get prescribed suboxone and don't wanna pay! I got extras!!!

[susvain0362]

Yep it don't do shit except take away your dope sickness when your sick. And you're suppose to dissolve it under young tongue for 5 - 10mins for it to work. People still snort it and pretend real hard it gets them high, but it don't. I injected it a couple times back in the day, fucking retarded it don't do shit. And, I didn't know, but if you shoot suboxone with dope in your system from within like 12 hours you get withdrawals x10 instantly. It was the worst I've ever felt. Was fucking retard. One of the dumbest things I've ever done.

[susvain0362]

Yea benzos with opiates is strong. I got into like four car accidents in a month lol so I stopped taking benzos

[susvain0362]

Quit reminiscing in my thread shithead, wtf u think dis is?

[susvain0362]

What'd I just say turdburglar?

[susvain0362]

I'm no even an addict I can control it bro

[susvain0362]

Your next step is to catch a predator!

[susvain0362]

It means go back to wishing me good luck!

[Estolcles]

Your next step is to catch a predator!

http://i942.photobucket.com/albums/ad263/Ilxuss/bth_pedobear_looking_zps20c80435.jpg

[susvain0362]

If we're being honest the most likely scenario would be me choking you out. You've never done any Jiu jitsu? Not even grappling with your friends? Yea if you have no concept and aren't way stronger than me I'd probably choke you out. Just saying.

[susvain0362]

Actually most likely scenario is my mom sees you hurting me and comes out side and goes crazy on you forcing you to leave my yard

[susvain0362]

I'm just assuming you never trained is all.but you do have the Alabama mad man advantage which is nothing to overlook. I wouldn't ever want to fight a wiry crazy Alabama back hill man. Then again who says you aren't 300lbs fat?

[susvain0362]

And you bring some Alabama dope and well go to my counseling meetings and find the hot chicks who only sniff it that way they are clean and willing to do anything for a sniff sky. There was one today, had absolutely no tits but was fine as hell. We just gotta find her paper work at the front office to make sure no hep c or aids.

[susvain0362]

What roids? You couldn't put on size with hgh? Damn I know your type I know kids like that

[susvain0362]

How old grandpa

[susvain0362]

Not if its a 2v1 handicap with my mom in my side

[susvain0362]

That's more clean time baby. Yesterday clean and today I will also be clean. The real problem I tomorrow. After I take,y drug test and pas it and have a full seven days before my next one I can easily get high for another two or three days. I don't want to!

[Estolcles]

That's more clean time baby. Yesterday clean and today I will also be clean. The real problem I tomorrow. After I take,y drug test and pas it and have a full seven days before my next one I can easily get high for another two or three days. I don't want to!

Then DON'T! Spend the money you'd use on drugs on something else. Like food, or a game, or a trip to the strip club. Just don't spend it on drugs. Try to stay clean!

[susvain0362]

I gave Away the keys because a car is all I need to come up on a bag or two. I haven't been able to delete my dealers numbers outta my phone, they're valuable! What if some bozo hits me up to get dope and I can make some money off him! They're really good connects as far as quickness, price, quality....its hard to give up my 3main people. I have 45bucks I made the past couple days and I wanna save itni don't wannabe waste it on the strip club or a game but I don't wanna just waste it on 5minutes of fun aka a dope bag.

[MaksimMazor]

Might as well start dealing

[petecory]

Might as well start dealing

[CharlesBarkley]

I gave Away the keys because a car is all I need to come up on a bag or two. I haven't been able to delete my dealers numbers outta my phone, they're valuable! What if some bozo hits me up to get dope and I can make some money off him! They're really good connects as far as quickness, price, quality....its hard to give up my 3main people. I have 45bucks I made the past couple days and I wanna save itni don't wannabe waste it on the strip club or a game but I don't wanna just waste it on 5minutes of fun aka a dope bag.

You're all set.

[Auchae]

Didn't read all of this but I was slamming coke and heroin for about 5 years before I got clean. Have been to rehab 4 times and multiple halfway houses. Luckily have only overdosed 3 times as far as I know.. From these last posts it sounds like you aren't quite ready to quit, and that's alright, man, but it doesn't get better. You think you were going hard before you got clean the first time.. just wait. You'll go harder and harder everytime you go back.

[gotrocks]

posting for support.

please delete your dealer's numbers, bro. Take the advice of those wiser than you in this matter. Get a new phone number as well. People should only be hitting you up for YOU, not your connects.

good luck. keep your head up, but out of the clouds.

[idontbuff]

Just go smoke some fuckin weed, goddamn. You want to get high, go get high on something that won't ruin your life. Or just don't do drugs at all if you can't handle drinking a beer or smoking a lil bud in substitution.

[Turtles]

Good luck.

[susvain0362]

Just go smoke some fuckin weed, goddamn. You want to get high, go get high on something that won't ruin your life. Or just don't do drugs at all if you can't handle drinking a beer or smoking a lil bud in substitution.

I use to smoke weed everday for a couple years, then it became percs and wed, then dope. Not saying weed led me here. Just sayingmimgot bored of weed, amd weed isnt kmportant and no money to spare for it when i got a dope habit. When imwas doing dope smoking weed would makemme go nuts. Id get crazy paranoid andfeel guilty and id throw away my heron. I only did it a few times because i knew it was gonna happen. Id smoke and then feel incredibly guilty, like omg wtf am i i doing with my life, how can i do this to my body, i am ruining my life. I flushed dope two different times. So i couldmt smoke anymore.

[susvain0362]

posting for support.

please delete your dealer's numbers, bro. Take the advice of those wiser than you in this matter. Get a new phone number as well. People should only be hitting you up for YOU, not your connects.

good luck. keep your head up, but out of the clouds.

I cant bring myself to delete the dealers. If i did i know my one friend who struggles like i do, i kmow he wouldmt give the numbers back to me because he wants me to get better, even if hes gettin high. I cant bring myself to the thought of losing them forever. Like what if im clean for awhile and just wanna use once? Or once or twice a month? I know it dont work like that but ill pretend like it can. Only one way to do dope and thats doing that everyday.

[gotrocks]

let me do it for you.

[susvain0362]

Do it