Need some good Jesus jokes....

[Bordar]

...the more irreverent the better. Visiting some fundie relatives soon.

Something along the lines of why can't Jesus eat m and m's?

Because they would fall through the holes in his hands...

That one worked well last time - they did not try to convert me the rest of the visit.

[this user was banned]

What's the difference between a priest and acne?
Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he is 13.

[Bordar]

Sweet - they are baptist so priest jokes are not effective... found a couple more that might work...

1- Whats white, sticky and moves across the sky at a thousand miles an hour?

The coming of the Lord

2- How does Jesus masturbate?

Like this...(place your hand flat on your groin, palm side down and mimic jerking off using the hole in your hand)

[Detoxx]

Sickening

[Rhambuk]

The greatest jesus joke ever, was convincing millions of people thousands of years later he was more than a man.

[Rhambuk]

or simply,

jesus is a joke

[Reapin]

When they come to the door look them in the face and say "Sorry, Christ Cultists are not welcomed here" and abruptly slam the door in their face. Funnier if you don't open the door again.

[Hasbinbad]

I chased the mormons off the property last time they came (several years ago now). I yelled at the dude like he was a rabid dog, explaining that his cult was destroying the world. I followed them down the street yelling at them never to come back.

Guess who has never darkened my doorstep ever again?

[Daldolma]

a woman

[Karkona]

Why do chicks love Jesus?

Because he is hung like this:

http://newsletters.animationmentor.com/newsletter/0307/images/feature_tiptrick1.jpg

[Kagatob]

I chased the mormons off the property last time they came (several years ago now). I yelled at the dude like he was a rabid dog, explaining that his cult was destroying the world. I followed them down the street yelling at them never to come back.

Guess who has never darkened my doorstep ever again?

a woman

I laughed at a Daldolma post.

First time for everything.

[Rhambuk]

I chased the mormons off the property last time they came (several years ago now). I yelled at the dude like he was a rabid dog, explaining that his cult was destroying the world. I followed them down the street yelling at them never to come back.

Guess who has never darkened my doorstep ever again?

hmm my hero.

[Bordar]

Ok, I think i found the one that will work....

Whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of jesus :D

[Raavak]

Oh shit, I'm going to hell. I just laughed at that.

[Jenova]

Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the inkeeper three nails and asks...

"Can you put me up for the night?"

From the Crow, I always loved this one lol :)