Real Flants and Rames

[Grahm]

True story, once knew a guy who used Miracle Whip as actual salad dressing.

http://www.slashfood.com/media/2005/12/Miracle_Whip.jpg

[Mith0r]

Miracle Whip for cold sandwiches, Mayo for hot.

[Rhambuk]

Miracle Whip for cold sandwiches, Mayo for hot.

This guy knows what hes talking about!

[quido]

Where's the "Neither" option?

[BigLe2e]

Where's the "Neither" option?

[OMGWTF420]

both are fucking gross

but ya bush towahs tmo sucks etc.

[bluejam]

http://www.real-drive.de/medias/sys_master/images/productimages/5/530723_1_1_detail.jpg

...shits on anything you can come up with. Just needs sliced, fresh chives and it's salad orgy time.

[kotton05]

I have mayonnaise colored benz. I push miracle whips!

[Calypso]

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

[Rhambuk]

She was obviously asking you what you wanted on your sandwich.

What I don't get is why there was a woman in a museum in the first place? was it a museum of kitchens throughout history or what?

[Mortiiss]

She was obviously asking you what you wanted on your sandwich.

What I don't get is why there was a woman in a museum in the first place? was it a museum of kitchens throughout history or what?

YOU SEXIST PIG! OMFG! YOU WOMAN-HATING MISOGYNISTIC ASSHOLE!!

jk ilu

[Cecily]

Mentally challenged guy at one of my old restaurant jobs used to ask for no mano on his burgers. I have to agree, mano is absolutely horrible.

[Alovia]

Need to add a neither.... I hate both.

[Mortiiss]

Need to add a neither.... I hate both.

They are both gross.

[Byrjun]

both are fucking gross

Not fat, don't eat either.

[Alovia]

Fixed it =)

[Transient]

Add buttermilk to either and you get Ranch Dressing.

[falkun]

Real mayo all the way. Its good on sandwiches, deviled eggs...

[Grahm]

Not sure how I feel about the ninja add to the poll.

[Hailto]

So GM's modify posts how they see fit now?

[Alovia]

Not sure how I feel about the ninja add to the poll.

Sorry had to be done =P Dont give us people who dislike them both a chance to vote =P

[Rhambuk]

Sorry had to be done =P Dont give us people who dislike them both a chance to vote =P

If you don't like neither your vote doesn't count because your obviously not human.

[Funkutron5000]

Miracle Whip is the most vile substance ever created.

[Hailto]

Miracle Whip is the most vile substance ever created.

qft

[Cecily]

If you don't like neither your vote doesn't count because your obviously not human.

Pretty much. GTFO robots.

[Funkutron5000]

Pretty much. GTFO robots.

Beep. Borp. Bloop.

[Mortiiss]

Are androids okay? I'm only half.

[kotton05]

Master Luke, Sir, it's so good to see you fully functional again. R2 expresses his relief also.

[Mortiiss]

Or is it cyborg? Whatever it is.

[kotton05]

I prefer a droid

[Bones]

Miracle Whip is the most vile substance ever created.
I don't trust anything made by kraft

[Rhambuk]

I don't trust anything made by kraft

not even the classic mac n cheese?

[kotton05]

not even the classic mac n cheese?

i only trust one cheese, swiss, that shit is holy.

[Zade]

Miracle whip is bootleg mayo. FDA requires a minimum 65% vegetable oil content to be labeled as "mayonnaise". Miracle Whip does not give out the "secret" info on their veggie oil content. It was released 1933 to give a cheaper alternative to mayo during the Great Depression. It is now the exact same recipe but costs the same as "real" mayo. It is believed that the "secret" recipe of Miracle whip contains sugar, black pepper, saw dust, dirt, and the tears of poopsocking players. While this is unconfirmed, it still holds true that you are paying an equal price for a inferior product.

Damn, work is boring today <3 I vote mayo.

[kotton05]

So each time there is a sock. You guys collect the tears of the losers and bottle them with miracle whip! Haha, with the new windows I'm taking my stock out of miracle whip since socks dun happen and investing in mayo

[Quiksilver]

The poll is still kinda incomplete. Miracle Whip is a brand name, mayonnaise is not.

There are a bunch of different types out there and there is no exact formula (other than the required amount of oil) for even the homemade kind. IMO nothing will beat homemade since you are in control of how it tastes.

Making it at home is a lot more simple than you think. Here's a 1-yolk recipe that'll yield 1 cup of mayo:
ingredients
1 egg yolk
1 cup oil (usually vegetable or canola)
salt, to taste
mustard, to taste
hot sauce, to taste (optional)

equipment
whisk
measuring cup
mixing bowl
sauce pot (no bigger than the mixing bowl, optional)
towel (optional)

steps
*mayonnaise is an emulsion so it can break if you add oil too fast*
**draping a towel over a small sauce pot and placing the bowl on top is a fast and easy way to allow one-handed whisking**
1. gradually pour about 1/2c of oil from measuring cup while whisking the yolk vigorously (about jerk-off speed)
2. season to taste, then continue whisking the oil in. to test if the mayo is ready, scoop a little into a spoon and flip it over. if it sticks to the spoon, it's ready.

It looks like a lot but once you know how you can make it, it can be done in under a minute.

To stay on topic though, I do not like Miracle Whip. At all. Store bought it's either Hellman's or Ken's Heavy Duty (my preferred). Unfortunately, you can really only find Ken's in a big ass tub. The taste is similar to Hellman's but just slightly sweeter.

[Mortiiss]

The poll is still kinda incomplete. Miracle Whip is a brand name, mayonnaise is not.

There are a bunch of different types out there and there is no exact formula (other than the required amount of oil) for even the homemade kind. IMO nothing will beat homemade since you are in control of how it tastes.

Making it at home is a lot more simple than you think. Here's a 1-yolk recipe that'll yield 1 cup of mayo:
ingredients
1 egg yolk
1 cup oil (usually vegetable or canola)
salt, to taste
mustard, to taste
hot sauce, to taste (optional)

equipment
whisk
measuring cup
mixing bowl
sauce pot (no bigger than the mixing bowl, optional)
towel (optional)

steps
*mayonnaise is an emulsion so it can break if you add oil too fast*
**draping a towel over a small sauce pot and placing the bowl on top is a fast and easy way to allow one-handed whisking**
1. gradually pour about 1/2c of oil from measuring cup while whisking the yolk vigorously (about jerk-off speed)
2. season to taste, then continue whisking the oil in. to test if the mayo is ready, scoop a little into a spoon and flip it over. if it sticks to the spoon, it's ready.

It looks like a lot but once you know how you can make it, it can be done in under a minute.

To stay on topic though, I do not like Miracle Whip. At all. Store bought it's either Hellman's or Ken's Heavy Duty (my preferred). Unfortunately, you can really only find Ken's in a big ass tub. The taste is similar to Hellman's but just slightly sweeter.

http://www.troll.me/images/science-cat/its-science.jpg

[cyryllis]

fuckin white people and their shitty condiments

[Mortiiss]

fuckin white people and their shitty condiments

racist