#61
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#62
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doesn't mean they still aren't having a good time tho with the time they spend | |||
#63
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Also, being a wizard, no one's really scrambling over themselves to have me in their groups, and friendship seems to evaporate as soon as I drop them off at the spire. It's not easy on the social side. Quote:
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Last edited by tadkins; 10-05-2022 at 04:33 PM..
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#64
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They’re always raiding something and I usually can’t figure out how to get there or else I’d be tempted to go sometimes. Being a wizard might make that easier. I am really only a member for the occasional guild banter, which can be pretty funny at times You could give them a try, unless that’s one you already did | |||
#65
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#66
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#67
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I've seen you mention more than once something along the lines of "they didn't want to help me with anything" or "they didn't want to group with me" -- there feels like there's an expectation that as soon as you join, these strangers should be very open to helping you. But I think it's important to understand that they're still strangers, people have no idea who you are yet, and you don't know who they are yet. When I join a guild, first and foremost my expectations are: nothing. I get nothing, because I have given nothing, I just joined. My first job is to cultivate relationships with people, to demonstrate I'm an asset, to demonstrate I'm pleasant to play with, that I'll be helpful, that my goals are the guild's goals and I'll contribute in whatever way I can to push the guild forward. Because when you do that, and you foster a good reputation (and that takes time to build), you create a lot of good will around yourself that people will respond to. They remember that you were helpful, that you were the first person to raise your hand to help out, and they'll want to return that help, because that's how relationships work. I've been playing MMO's for like, 17 years. I've been successful (leadership/officer roles) in almost every single one of those guilds by applying the same mentality and same formula to every single one. You show up, you be polite to everyone, you demonstrate that you are always willing to help, you never (ever) complain unless its actually something serious (and you do it through the proper channels), always offer to do the things no one else wants to do, and eventually you cultivate a positive relationship with these people and they share that same kindness you showed them because you've proven consistently that you're worth it. Can't join the raid? Stop what you're doing and offer to port anyone and everyone, pick up stragglers, ask if there's anything else you can do. Little things like that add up in how people view you. Again, it's sort of like finding a new job, you need to know how to actually advertise yourself and stand out amongst the crowd. I can't emphasize enough how much being successful in a guild is you demonstrating to them you're worth it. It's not "sucking up to the right people" -- that already makes me think "wrong attitude", it's showing them that you care and that their investment in you will be worth it. It doesn't happen the moment you join a guild, YOU have to work for it and put the time in. | |||
#68
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@Kich867: That's a fair assessment. That is essentially what I do look for in a guild; a sense of comraderie and belonging. I've been playing MMOs for decades and I see it all the time, guild groups running around together tackling group content, and I just feel left out. I've always wanted to be one of those guys who can run over to a spot in WL where a group fight for The Velium Focus is gonna take place, to be a part of a dragon fight group, to be a part of one of those guild groups taking over the Gurubashi Arena instead of being the solo guy having to fight against the odds, and so on. I see other people getting to do it and just wish I could be them.
Maybe I am expecting too much, but what are you supposed to do in a game that requires other people to help you, and no one wants to help you? I've done my best in any guild I join to prove I'm a good person. I've helped folks with ports, corpse runs and the like. It's just tough because I never know when the right time is to start asking for help with stuff I need, and I always end up being wrong. I don't know. The years of trying and getting rejected has just left me feeling depressed and lonely. It isn't entirely a game thing either, and the stuff you've mentioned regarding RL employment, well, there's a reason I actually do have that appointment tomorrow. | ||
#69
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Showing your independence and that you aren't just there to leech from the guild is a really good first step. People will eventually want to help you because they know and like you, not because you're in their guild. Being in their guild is just a vehicle to building relationships with them. Quote:
The important thing is to not get that riled up if people don't respond. Ask for help once in awhile--cool. But you can't expect people to drop what they're doing all the time, especially if "help" is something kind of big like the Brain Bite quest--that's not trivial, it's a pretty big time investment from potentially more than one person. Ask to setup a group somewhere--no bites? No problem, keep quadding. Someone tries to start up a group? Raise your hand. If it falls through, no problem, keep quadding. | ||||
#70
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Honest question though, what *would* be the process I should go through if I do want something like Brain Bite or Phenocryst's Focus? | ||||
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