student loans are a hit!

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by Ooloo [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

If you haven't noticed that human nature makes most people take the path of least resistance when offered I'm not sure what planet you live on.

True, in a sense, kids especially want the path of least resistance, but there’s also a battle for control. The parent has the control of the environment, and the kid wants control. And the kid will use whatever method works to get it

A shitty parent backs down at negative behaviors and gives the kid control. A good parent clamps down with consequences (doesn’t have to be beatings of course) at a young age and consistently. So the kid is conditioned to realize: it doesn’t matter how hard or how long I freak the fuck out about this, my parent is not going to back down. How fast that “ah ha, this is really only making things worse for me” lightbulb moment happens depends on only two things: how dumb the kid is (for dumb kids it will be slower), and how consistent the parent is

But negative reinforcement isn’t as effective in the long run as positive. So in addition to that, the parent has to condition and praise the positive. This requires a lot of attention put on the kid (kids crave and love attention) something busy parents unfortunately slack on. So even moreso then consequences should come validation and praise at appropriate times: “you did such a good thing there by doing what you were asked and also telling me the truth. You are awesome. You know what? You get extra freedoms now. AND, we’re going to do fun bonding stuff together. What fun stuff do you want to do?” That kind of shit. So another lightbulb moment happens and the kid realizes “wow, I got my parents attention in a good way, AND more freedom? What a win!”

But most of these bad parents are juuuust about as dumb and immature as their kid to begin with, so they are really set up to fail