I read the PNPs outdoor camp guideline but still...

[Infectious]

Originally Posted by tadkins [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Actually in WoW mobs are shared tag now. I believe they only grey out if the person tagging is in a full group, or if they're tagged by an opposite faction member.

But yep WoW actually probably is a better game for someone like me; quiet, not very social, doesn't have a guild or friends. It offers far more solo content/ability to solo. But at the moment I'm stuck here due to an incident with my old computer. P99 is about the only game this cheap laptop can really handle. Right now I'm just trying my best here. I do speak from the perspective of someone who typically is alone though, who always struggled to find groups for content, and whom running a dungeon in this game higher than crushbone or blackburrow is a hilarious fantasy. I'd still love to see a dragon here one day, or at least do a group quest to earn something that simply can't be bought in the EC tunnel.

I do agree though, it sucks that one needs to have to suck up to the right group of folks controlling the content to do it here, even if they are terrible people that you'd never want to hang out with.

Probably one of the most depressing posts in a while. Dude join a guild and find some friends leveling up.

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by Infectious [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Probably one of the most depressing posts in a while. Dude join a guild and find some friends leveling up.

yeah actually there is reason for a state sponsered shrink to be concerned about u take the above advice from infectious

doesn't mean they still aren't having a good time tho with the time they spend

[tadkins]

Originally Posted by Infectious [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Probably one of the most depressing posts in a while. Dude join a guild and find some friends leveling up.

I've been trying. Been in a couple of guilds that didn't really care to do anything with me, and i've been flat out rejected from a couple others. Another seems to just be filled entirely with trolls. It's not easy to find a guild you can really jive with, and with P99 being the small server it is, my choices are very limited.

Also, being a wizard, no one's really scrambling over themselves to have me in their groups, and friendship seems to evaporate as soon as I drop them off at the spire. It's not easy on the social side.

Originally Posted by magnetaress [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

yeah actually there is reason for a state sponsered shrink to be concerned about u

My appointment is tomorrow.

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by tadkins [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I've been trying. Been in a couple of guilds that didn't really care to do anything with me, and i've been flat out rejected from a couple others. Another seems to just be filled entirely with trolls. It's not easy to find a guild you can really jive with, and with P99 being the small server it is, my choices are very limited.

Also, being a wizard, no one's really scrambling over themselves to have me in their groups, and friendship seems to evaporate as soon as I drop them off at the spire. It's not easy on the social side.



My appointment is tomorrow.

I was able to be a part of a Nagy kill in Castle back in the day. It was very anti-climactic

They’re always raiding something and I usually can’t figure out how to get there or else I’d be tempted to go sometimes. Being a wizard might make that easier. I am really only a member for the occasional guild banter, which can be pretty funny at times

You could give them a try, unless that’s one you already did

[tadkins]

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I was able to be a part of a Nagy kill in Castle back in the day. It was very anti-climactic

They’re always raiding something and I usually can’t figure out how to get there or else I’d be tempted to go sometimes. Being a wizard might make that easier. I am really only a member for the occasional guild banter, which can be pretty funny at times

You could give them a try, unless that’s one you already did

It is, I've actually had a few bad experiences with them when I tried it out. They're not really a guild I found a sense of comraderie with. On top of that as a DaPer, Castle members tend to be the worst tippers on average lols.

[Infectious]

Originally Posted by tadkins [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I've been trying. Been in a couple of guilds that didn't really care to do anything with me, and i've been flat out rejected from a couple others. Another seems to just be filled entirely with trolls. It's not easy to find a guild you can really jive with, and with P99 being the small server it is, my choices are very limited.

Also, being a wizard, no one's really scrambling over themselves to have me in their groups, and friendship seems to evaporate as soon as I drop them off at the spire. It's not easy on the social side.



My appointment is tomorrow.

Damn. Well keep at it, once you find a guild and some friends to exp/roll alts with the game becomes alot more fun. Roll an alt and join a leveling guild. Use the wizard to gear him up a little.

[Kich867]

Originally Posted by tadkins [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I've been trying. Been in a couple of guilds that didn't really care to do anything with me, and i've been flat out rejected from a couple others. Another seems to just be filled entirely with trolls. It's not easy to find a guild you can really jive with, and with P99 being the small server it is, my choices are very limited.

Also, being a wizard, no one's really scrambling over themselves to have me in their groups, and friendship seems to evaporate as soon as I drop them off at the spire. It's not easy on the social side.

I've read a bunch of your posts, and you seem like a pretty nice dude, but I really can't help but think that this is somewhat on you and a mismatch of expectations of what being in a guild is like?

I've seen you mention more than once something along the lines of "they didn't want to help me with anything" or "they didn't want to group with me" -- there feels like there's an expectation that as soon as you join, these strangers should be very open to helping you. But I think it's important to understand that they're still strangers, people have no idea who you are yet, and you don't know who they are yet.

When I join a guild, first and foremost my expectations are: nothing. I get nothing, because I have given nothing, I just joined. My first job is to cultivate relationships with people, to demonstrate I'm an asset, to demonstrate I'm pleasant to play with, that I'll be helpful, that my goals are the guild's goals and I'll contribute in whatever way I can to push the guild forward.

Because when you do that, and you foster a good reputation (and that takes time to build), you create a lot of good will around yourself that people will respond to. They remember that you were helpful, that you were the first person to raise your hand to help out, and they'll want to return that help, because that's how relationships work.

I've been playing MMO's for like, 17 years. I've been successful (leadership/officer roles) in almost every single one of those guilds by applying the same mentality and same formula to every single one.

You show up, you be polite to everyone, you demonstrate that you are always willing to help, you never (ever) complain unless its actually something serious (and you do it through the proper channels), always offer to do the things no one else wants to do, and eventually you cultivate a positive relationship with these people and they share that same kindness you showed them because you've proven consistently that you're worth it.

Can't join the raid? Stop what you're doing and offer to port anyone and everyone, pick up stragglers, ask if there's anything else you can do. Little things like that add up in how people view you. Again, it's sort of like finding a new job, you need to know how to actually advertise yourself and stand out amongst the crowd.

I can't emphasize enough how much being successful in a guild is you demonstrating to them you're worth it. It's not "sucking up to the right people" -- that already makes me think "wrong attitude", it's showing them that you care and that their investment in you will be worth it. It doesn't happen the moment you join a guild, YOU have to work for it and put the time in.

[tadkins]

@Kich867: That's a fair assessment. That is essentially what I do look for in a guild; a sense of comraderie and belonging. I've been playing MMOs for decades and I see it all the time, guild groups running around together tackling group content, and I just feel left out. I've always wanted to be one of those guys who can run over to a spot in WL where a group fight for The Velium Focus is gonna take place, to be a part of a dragon fight group, to be a part of one of those guild groups taking over the Gurubashi Arena instead of being the solo guy having to fight against the odds, and so on. I see other people getting to do it and just wish I could be them.

Maybe I am expecting too much, but what are you supposed to do in a game that requires other people to help you, and no one wants to help you?

I've done my best in any guild I join to prove I'm a good person. I've helped folks with ports, corpse runs and the like. It's just tough because I never know when the right time is to start asking for help with stuff I need, and I always end up being wrong.

I don't know. The years of trying and getting rejected has just left me feeling depressed and lonely. It isn't entirely a game thing either, and the stuff you've mentioned regarding RL employment, well, there's a reason I actually do have that appointment tomorrow.

[Kich867]

Originally Posted by tadkins [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Maybe I am expecting too much, but what are you supposed to do in a game that requires other people to help you, and no one wants to help you?

I would say that contrary to popular belief, a tremendous amount can be done on your own in this game (especially as a wizard and especially leveling, you really don't need to group your way to 60).

Showing your independence and that you aren't just there to leech from the guild is a really good first step.

People will eventually want to help you because they know and like you, not because you're in their guild. Being in their guild is just a vehicle to building relationships with them.

I've done my best in any guild I join to prove I'm a good person. I've helped folks with ports, corpse runs and the like. It's just tough because I never know when the right time is to start asking for help with stuff I need, and I always end up being wrong.

In my experience this is generally something that happens organically. People will reach out. I'm not sure all guilds do this but some guilds also have sort of a trial period--you really can't expect much at the beginning.

The important thing is to not get that riled up if people don't respond. Ask for help once in awhile--cool. But you can't expect people to drop what they're doing all the time, especially if "help" is something kind of big like the Brain Bite quest--that's not trivial, it's a pretty big time investment from potentially more than one person.

Ask to setup a group somewhere--no bites? No problem, keep quadding. Someone tries to start up a group? Raise your hand. If it falls through, no problem, keep quadding.

[tadkins]

Originally Posted by Kich867 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I would say that contrary to popular belief, a tremendous amount can be done on your own in this game (especially as a wizard and especially leveling, you really don't need to group your way to 60).

Showing your independence and that you aren't just there to leech from the guild is a really good first step.

People will eventually want to help you because they know and like you, not because you're in their guild. Being in their guild is just a vehicle to building relationships with them.

It's true. Quadding and AoEing low level dungeons does get boring though, and sometimes I wish I could explore a place like The Hole.

Originally Posted by Kich867 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The important thing is to not get that riled up if people don't respond. Ask for help once in awhile--cool. But you can't expect people to drop what they're doing all the time, especially if "help" is something kind of big like the Brain Bite quest--that's not trivial, it's a pretty big time investment from potentially more than one person.

Thank you for the advice. I am doing just that with my new character. Haven't stepped over any toes and haven't caused any drama. Only trying to cultivate tiny bits of good will here and there, and just trying to enjoy the game on my own. Maybe something cool will happen one of these days.

Honest question though, what *would* be the process I should go through if I do want something like Brain Bite or Phenocryst's Focus?