Women of Norrath, what's your experience?

[Quineloe]

Originally Posted by heartbrand [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Red Dawn on red99 is in dire need of female players in order to be more diverse. Anyone who wants to help us with this noble goal please shoot me a pm.

can you name a single player on blue who wants to play on red99 and is currently not playing there?

[JPMorgan]

Originally Posted by Sidelle [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

In my opinion the vast majority of males here are not seriously looking to hook up irl with girls they meet in EQ.

I could see p99 playing host to a fewer numbers of guys looking for significant others/flings when compared to other MMOs. But, that was why I tried to phrase most of my to be about MMOs in general.

Originally Posted by Sidelle [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

P.S. It would be interesting if there were some statistics out there stating just how many people hook up for real in this game. It has been known to happen, that's for sure...

I would be interested in seeing those numbers too. I'll admit that I had once when I was younger. Now it's something that I doubt that I would ever pursue again. I can just sort of relate to the guys who do feel that an MMO is capable of providing a positive environment for romance -- maybe not this MMO -- and I don't like seeing them all lumped together with the degenerates that harass strangers about their shoe size.

[JPMorgan]

Originally Posted by paulgiamatti [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Just popping in to say that after perusing this thread I've found that even the more socially progressive and ostensibly tolerant posts are frighteningly misogynistic and sexist. I'm glad I barely ever run into most of you in game.

"You're all terrible, even when you try not to be, but I won't tell you why."

[Vlak]

Originally Posted by JPMorgan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I was thinking about this earlier. Obviously a socially inept, needy male isn't going to do well in attracting women in any situation. However, men are primarily expected to initiate dialogue with women: it's an observable cultural norm that spans nearly all walks of life. For a lot of male gamers the MMO scene serves the same purpose as a bar, library, park or work environment in as far as finding a potential partner goes.

I don't think the claim that EQ is a game, and therefore you should only be here to play, has any validity. If this were the case then the same would apply to the above environments that I listed. Aren't these the places single adults are supposed to meet one another? Does it seem irrational to seek out a potential partner with shared interests?

It just seems narrow minded to be offended by the fact that men will show interest in women who game. It's like the holy grail for a lot of guys. Finding a woman who tolerates your considerable dedication to a digital world is hard enough: finding one that wants to share it is priceless. I've had a few friends who have met their significant others over MMOs. One of those couples even met on live.

Some men are going to be bad at picking up women. Figure out how to bust their balls enough so that they leave you alone. Sounds unfair? Men have the unfair assignment of having to go out of their way to approach and impress women while risking humiliation. Some women go to the beach just to surf, others go to bars just to drink: if you're here just to game then you'll have to figure out avoid unwanted attention just like they do.

I really like how Aj put it:



Even if it's slightly out of context, it still applies.

tl;dr; Society's norms do not absolve anyone of responsibility for their actions nor are they a reason someone else should have to put up with bullshit. Take responsibility for your actions and lead by example.

Sounds like this post is trying to say "Shut up and figure out how to deal with it, ladies. We guys have it hard enough as it is."

This post mentions an observable cultural norm that men are supposed to approach women and not the other way around. Well, let's think about that, why does this norm exist? Is it biologically-based or is it, as you say, cultural, and therefore in the realm of control by its constituent individuals?

Feel like you (general you, not calling out JP specifically) have too much of a burden placed on you, as a man, to approach and talk to women? If there's a norm for you to approach a woman, what about a woman who goes out to approach a man? It's not normative by your own definition, so I'd say it's even more difficult for her. So "shut up and figure out how to deal with it, dudes. Ladies have it hard enough as it is."

That said, I agree that showing interest in someone online is not, inherently, offensive. The manner of expression, or its frequency is an entirely different matter.

Also, being interested in someone, even in-game, just because they're a female? It's the RL equivalent of going into a library full of strangers and chatting up every woman you see. Yes you're all in the same place likely with the same purpose, maybe even the same interest, but your only real reason for talking to them is that they are all female. Seem a bit off?

[radditsu]

Ive rarely had a good experience with women who are the girlfriend of my gaming friends. I find it hard to call them out on shit due to personal relationships. I however expect that to be rare. Not the norm. Gaming equality requires someone to be able to be called a "Dick
Butt" for not picking up that offtank, and a "dick cunt" if the female can't puck it up. Gaming culture is not humane, or decent. The games are not humane or decent. Any aficionados of digital bloodsport should take the culture or groom a corner of the culture the way they see fit(advertising a server or creating a good circle). Unless it turns into harrasment or stalking, calling an idiot an idiot should be fair game.


Ya idiots. Postin in a troll thread.

[Hollywood]

Originally Posted by sox7d [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I recently got in a discussion with some of my friends about how awful sour grapes antagonizing neckbeards and white-knight neckbeards are in WoW and LoL. Was wondering what sort of things you guys face or if you have any funny/disturbing stories about being female in EQ?

What I find curious is why would 'evil neckbeards' harass a female player - without knowing she was female?
Additionally, since we know most female characters are male, then I'd suspect people are more cautious about assuming the player is actually female.

Ultimately, it's very easy -especially in a text driven game like EQ- that no one will ever know unless you tell them - and why would you do that when you know it provides no direct benefit and only opens the door to complications?

The reality it's about adoration and adulation. Women only give that information out because it suits them to some degree or some purpose.
Best thing a chick can do is play a male character - solved.

[khanable]

Originally Posted by Sidelle [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

P.S. It would be interesting if there were some statistics out there stating just how many people hook up for real in this game. It has been known to happen, that's for sure...

I personally know of 6 RL relationships that started on p99

true story

[HeallunRumblebelly]

Cucumbers and Heallun 2014. Send out the cards.

[JPMorgan]

Originally Posted by Vlak [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

This post mentions an observable cultural norm that men are supposed to approach women and not the other way around. Well, let's think about that, why does this norm exist? Is it biologically-based or is it, as you say, cultural, and therefore in the realm of control by its constituent individuals?

If there's a norm for you to approach a woman, what about a woman who goes out to approach a man? It's not normative by your own definition, so I'd say it's even more difficult for her.

This is might be true, I wouldn't know. Although, the reason I didn't address it is not because it's something that's not tolerated: it simply isn't expected. I don't think there is going to be a public uproar over a female player approaching a male player.

Originally Posted by Vlak [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

That said, I agree that showing interest in someone online is not, inherently, offensive. The manner of expression, or its frequency is an entirely different matter.

Yes.

Originally Posted by Vlak [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Also, being interested in someone, even in-game, just because they're a female? It's the RL equivalent of going into a library full of strangers and chatting up every woman you see. Yes you're all in the same place likely with the same purpose, maybe even the same interest, but your only real reason for talking to them is that they are all female. Seem a bit off?

Men do this. And not just shitty ones, either. If you have an all male work environment, and your only friends are men, their girl friends, wives and other women in relationships, then you need to intentionally locate a pool of eligible candidates in the event that you want a relationship. Of course they're going to talk to all the women in the same place with the same potential interests as themselves: assuming they have the motivation to. How else are they supposed to learn more about them? And as you suggested, it might be even harder for these hypothetical women to approach the man, so someone has to do it.

Somewhere down the line the majority of us would have never have been born if men just figured, "oh, I better not talk to this woman I've never met before." I'd also like to add that finding a woman with similar interests is probably a more modern invention. Before the prerequisites were probably limited to:

I bet she looks good naked.
Her father is an important person.
She seems like the kind of woman who knows how to maintain clean a hose hold.
Objectification etc.

[sox7d]

Women don't approach men because it's socially looked down upon. It's already socially looked down upon for men, though nobody explicitly says so. Women don't because they don't absolutely have to.