Guys who like rimjobs are closet gays

[Alawen]

Whether or not I am witty is an opinion.

Me regularly inserting my penis into a vagina while yours enter nothing but your hand or underwear is a fact.*

* Use of masturbation paraphernalia, including fresh produce such as melons, does not invalidate the truth of this fact; the paraphernalia is acting as a proxy for your own hand.