If you’re being serious, you should find professional help as soon as possible. That is a serious addiction that destroys people and families
If you’re self aware enough to know what you said in your post, you should find a local counselor or organization that deals with detox before it becomes a rehab situation (which, by that point, your family would have to drag you to kicking and screaming)
Just my $0.02 as a person whose brother in law lost everything to opioids. I imagine alcoholism is just as bad
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