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Oh no if anything it was far more common when I was younger
I try to differentiate between “back up” and friendzone. Friendzone can be someone who likes you but that you have zero romantic attraction towards. With a “back up”, there is at least the possibility of some attraction. That’s the difference in those terms when I use them. A back up is someone you friendzoned until maybe you are tired of being single or on a rebound
In order to have romantic partners and backups you have to generally socialize with a decent amount of people near to your age on a regular basis. Usually within the first few minutes-hours of socializing with someone you can have an idea if you could sleep with that person, based on your personal standards and their looks/personality. I’m assuming women are the same way in how they think. So let’s say you know 10 different single women. Some are friends, some are co-workers let’s say. Of those 10, you could hook up with maybe 3 of those, the rest you are just not attracted to for whatever reason (maybe they’re too out of shape, personality too annoying, whatever). Whether you are conscious of it or not, those 3 you could sleep with you arrange into a hierarchy in your mind. The one you are most attracted to/compatible with, and then the next 2 in line. This ranking is not something done consciously though. It’s not like someone sits down and makes lists of who is most fuckable of their friends, it just happens
It’s far more likely that the next 2 in line don’t end up being a back up due to circumstance. Maybe they get in a relationship, maybe they move, whatever. But if not, some people will deliberately keep them around because there is some level of romantic possibility there, they’re just not their first choice
Sorry, hope I don’t come across as too sociopathic with this line of thinking, but like I said, I think more people do this than you think, especially younger people
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