5 years of age, I got caught stealing a Twinkie.
23 years of age, I got a "under the influence in public" charge for driving while coming down off Ecstacy (the cops thought I was fine, but the Sgt. was there and my eyes were saucered, so they busted the charge down anyway). I wiped the charge via diversion.
..other than that, I've never been caught.
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