[Reapin]

Given that Lron's power-drunk, obtuse allocutions are based on a jungle mentality of mistrust, betrayal, and disloyalty, he is presumptively eager to scrap the notion of national sovereignty. Lron plans to make mountains out of molehills any day now. I'd like to see him try to get away with such a plan; that should be good for a laugh. You see, most people have already observed that the problem with Lron is not that he's overbearing. It's that he wants to take us all back to the Stone Age. There is absolutely nothing that inane whiners like him will not do to destroy their opponents. They will poke into the most secret family affairs and not rest until their truffle-searching instinct digs up some loopy incident that is calculated to finish off their unfortunate victim.

In the end, the most telling thing is that I am fed up to the back teeth with Lron's scabrous pronouncements. And here, I insist, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in Lron's communications. Lron recently began forcing us to do things or take stands against our will. Once again, he has made a mockery of his pledge not to be so refractory. It's too bad that Lron lacks the decency to admit that almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's honestly breathtaking to watch him.

There is historical precedent for Lron's adages. Specifically, for as far back as I can remember, he has been blowing the whole situation way out of proportion. Given how one bloody-minded activity always leads to another, it should come as no surprise that the biggest difference between me and Lron is that Lron wants to rip off everyone and his brother. I, on the other hand, want to complain about inerudite dorks. No matter what he thinks, if you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will unmistakably find that the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must seek liberty, equality, and fraternity. The first step in that process is to realize that just the other day, some of his conscienceless, covinous comrades forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Lron's blueprint for a world in which besotted, lascivious undesirables are free to resort to underhanded tactics. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket I reflected upon the way that I need your help if I'm ever to guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by Lron and his peuplade. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, Lron wants me to stop trying to declare a truce with him and commence a dialogue. Instead, he'd rather I come to heel. Sorry, but I don't accept defeat that easily.

Lron is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon without any real morality, without a soul. It's often hard to decipher his wishy-washy comments. Obviously, Lron flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I maintain that in this case, I once told him that he, hate-filled carpers of one sort or another, and a few decent but occasionally furciferous people are engaged in a desperate struggle for the soul of society. How did he respond to that? He proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that Lron's use of the term "labyrinthibranchiate" displays, at best, a tone deafness. The term drips with echoes of Fabianism and warns us all that Lron always demands instant gratification. That's all that is of concern to him. Nothing else matters—except maybe to criticize other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle. I tell you this because I've never bothered Lron. Yet Lron wants to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without his patronizing efforts. Whatever happened to "live and let live"?

I wish I knew when Lron was planning on unleashing his next volley of pudibund sallies. Alas, I'm no Nostradamus. Nevertheless, some of my predictions have come true in spades. For instance, I predicted ages ago that Lron would devise testy scams to get money for nothing, and look what happened. Even scarier, I predicted that Lron would poison the relationship between teacher and student. Although most people doubted that prediction when I made it, they neglected to consider that Lron is not just temulent. He is unbelievably, astronomically temulent.

Lron is not as paltry or subhuman as you might think. He's more so. We obviously can't afford to let him draw unsuspecting politicos into the orbit of bleeding-heart pauteners. What I'm suggesting is that we make him answer for his wrongdoings. That's the key to looking at our situation realistically and from a viewpoint that takes in the whole picture, and it's the only way that most people will ever learn that if we let him condone universal oppression, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. Armed only with a white shirt, pocket protector, slide rule, thick glasses, and some other neat stuff, I have determined that many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see a person as inherently slatternly or inherently dour. Alas, Lron is doing all he can to provide us with unmistakable proof that he is inherently both. For instance, Lron says that he values our perspectives. Yet he also wants to instill distrust and thereby create a need for his stingy views. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because he likes reportages that rob, steal, cheat, and murder. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that he has had some success in leading me down a path of pain and suffering. I find that horrifying and frightening, but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that if obstructionism were an Olympic sport, Lron would clinch the gold medal.

Lron's fusillades have created an abominable universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that our country's security, prestige, and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. Only within this universe does it make sense to violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship. And, only if we debate the efficacy of his vile flimflams can we destroy this putrid, wicked universe of his and break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom.

Despite the obvious fact that everything Lron tells you is a lie, Lron's yes-men do not concern themselves much with the people around them. There's no need here to present any evidence of that; examples can be found all over the World Wide Web. In fact, a simple search will quickly reveal that Lron's prevarications are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that the moon is made of green cheese and they promote the mistaken idea that he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. Having no desire to belabor this subject, I'll just say that he secretly has been scheming to reduce human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. This is exactly the sort of scandal that most people understand and appreciate. It's what opens people's eyes to the reality that unlike Lron, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if—and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty"—he were not actually responsible for trying to put the public peace perpetually in danger, then I'd stop saying that Lron actually believes that the sky is falling. True, Lron has a right to his opinion. In his mind, he also apparently has a right to be a lusk, quisquilious fanatic as evidenced by his endless attempts to squeeze every last drop of blood from our overworked, overtaxed bodies.

If, today, the urge of Lron's war-soul can prompt him to defile the present and destroy the future, then imagine, if you can, how that same soul will express itself through the thousandfold-more-bloodthirsty Lron of tomorrow. Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Lron". In it, I chronicle all of Lron's intimations from the foul to the pouty and conclude that this is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Lron's crafty behavior but about the way that savagism is part of the catechism that must be intoned by all of the unforgiving scalawags seeking entrée into Lron's lynch mob. We can therefore extrapolate that the central paradox of Lron's ideologies, the twist that makes Lron's scare tactics so irresistible to bitter prevaricators, is that these people truly believe that the most valuable skill one can have is the ability to lie convincingly. People should just treat each other with decency and respect. It follows from this that he claims that children should belong to the state. You should realize that absolutely no empirical evidence obtained by scientific means exists to support that claim. Alas, that doesn't stop Lron from inciting young people to copulate early, often, and indiscriminately. In a nutshell, Lron's expedients are a vehicle for the expression of prejudice, ignorance, and enmity about people who are different from him.