Quote:
Originally Posted by Faerie Blossom
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Also, stop shaving and using soap. You wouldn't want to appear as though you care for yourself, that's girly and dumb :/
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Hah! A true man needs not groom his eyebrows or wash himself to impress a woman; a true man sees what he wants and TAKES IT through sheer strength and power. For example, every time someone gives me a boner, I tear off my shirt which reveals my hairy nipples and pectoral muscles, flex at her a few times and point at my tattoo so she knows that I’m a rebel. This 9/10 times will get her wet and wild but if it doesn’t, I go on to step 2: hands on. In step 2, I stomp over to her while roaring like a charging Viking, forcefully pushing all lesser men who stand in my way to the ground. When I get to her, I burp in her face, slap her and pick her up on to my back then disappear in to the night with her. She’ll show up at her house a week later in a wheelchair, her vagina chafed and bruised, dizzy from countless orgasms and there will be only one thing on her mind until the day of her death: Grundwald “Grumpy” Gunderson.