There is some wisdom to Samwise's outlandish claim. You can read the forums and enjoy the server, but it's helpful to know that these forums to not represent the Red99 community. Most of the posters here don't play the server anymore (if they ever did), are internet badasses (something akin to a Napoleon Complex, as far as I can tell) and complain about everything incessantly. If you're trying to live out your adult years immersed in teenaged angst; welcome home
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In game, my experience has been tremendously better. Azrael will train you, and Nihilum will CC you after PvE death, though, so if you want to raid be prepared to get to know some unsavory characters. In general people are very nice, and I think if you can keep a positive attitude you can prevent the others from getting to you.
If you do not play a solo class and can't get Nihilum PL, be warned: it's a long, hard road. There is a leveling guild, that was created to hopefully bring some people together. Look up <Serenity> in game if you so choose, but no griefing please!
Good luck in whatever you choose to do.