[Kassel]

Based on the skill set you have posted here, I would recommend you consider a position as Insurance adjustor.

Its pretty easy to get into at the entry level, lots of in house training.
Compliments your background in investigation.
As you move past the entry level positions you are often out in the field interaction with people. (boo cubical prison)
Salary and benefits are often top notch with insurance companies with solid job security.
Many companies have head offices in your part of the world.
There are many insurance based headhunter coprs that can find the job for you (they get paid by the insurance co not you)
Lots of opportunity to spin bullshit like you do here.

I could probably set you up with some names, but I really dont like you enough for that.

Either that or go full time with the marshmellows.