[Striiker]

First of all, I would suggest that you do indeed play. It's a great environment and if yo loved how EQ was back in the "Classic" era, then you'll love this server. Granted there are some minor differences and deviations from the "true classic" servers but I must say that I rarely notice them and am enjoying everything all over again.
I would suggest switching from your human monk to play some other class which you never had played. This way, when Kunark is released, you can start a lvl 1 Iksar monk and feel at peace and not have to go through the newbie levels for the same class once again. You may wish to consider a class which allows soloing such as Necros. (something which I did). This will allow you to play when you feel you can't find a group. Try something different for now, you may wind up loving it or at least returning to it now and then.
I would not worry so much about the people who maxed their level and are in a holding pattern for Kunark. You'll get there in good time. Most importantly, have fun while you level up. You expressed concerns about the fact that you can't devote a significant amount of time to the game. I can't either (I have a job, kids, etc.) so I spend what time I can in the game. It's taking longer to level up but I am having fun when I am on. I have an enchanter as my main and started a necromancer so I could solo when I know I can't be on too long. I also made a Shadowknight (in order to try something different from my live days) and a cleric (so I can group with my wife when she's on with her Paladin). On live I pushed hard to level up and missed a lot of the fun places at low / mid level to group and I am not making that mistake again. Find a "family guild" and have fun!
If you feel though that the drive to level is too great to resist and that you'll be constantly frustrated because you can't devote large blocks of time to the game, then this is perhaps not the place to spend your leisure hours. Remember, this IS Everquest and it can be quite addictive.
I hope to see you in game!