Maybe its just me, but if I were in a lot of these situations I would probably be laughing instead of getting mad. If someone told me "buff me bitch", I would probably reply with something like "make me a sammich bitch", followed by giving them reso. If they end up doing /em makes Uuur a sammich, that's just a bonus
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Some people have a harsh sense of humor, but don't take it the wrong way. If I'm making fun of the warrior for not being able to keep aggro, its not because he just wiped the group. Its because I'm confident enough in his skills and abilities that I feel comfortable giving him crap. Of course, it still helps to add a =) or =P to make sure people realize that you're joking. Obviously there are real assholes out there, but most of the people that I've met which come off as harsh end up being fun to play with.