Come on guys, don't shit up the thread.
O wait...
Okay, well do it with real stories then. Don't turn this into another troll post. I about blew my kool-aid out through my nose reading Ephrith's shit. Hailto's was pretty good too.
As for me, one of my best was when I was in the National Guard deployed to Hickam AFB, Hawaii for a couple weeks. I was only 20 years-old at the time, but hey, I'm in Hawaii so fuck it...imma gonna drink anyway. The military is usually pretty lax about it as long as you didn't do anything stupid (screwed the pooch on that one).
We ended up going to a "Luau" one night and I drank probably a dozen Mai-Tai's & Blue Hawaiians. One of the greatest nights of my life, until we got back to base. I was so hammered, my sergeant told me to go straight to my dorm room for the night (so nobody would see me). I was fine for about 15 min, but as soon as I sat down and the room started spinning I was fucked. The nearest bathroom was upstairs, and there was no way I was gonna make it.
I opened the door back up and ran outside, projectile vomiting a 2-foot stream in the process. Unbenounced to me, even as big as this fucking base is....it was my luck the base commander and his minion Lieutenants decided to go out for a cigar and late night stroll that night. The sidewalk was about 10 feet from my door, and I ran about 8 of it before I stopped. The 2 feet of Mai-Tai flavored bullshit landed just short of all three of them. I know I puked at least 2-3 more times with some dry heaves added in before I finally stopped and looked up at who was standing there.
The funny thing was I didn't even know they were at the time and they didn't even say a word. I just smiled, said "Hey'der! Howsh it goin?" and walked casually back to my room, lol. But I did get a knock on my door the next morning by a pissed off Chief & Master Sergeant. Needless to say, I was cut-off the rest of the time there
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