Quote:
Originally Posted by dredge
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OMG FUCK!
You guys are so right!
I have decided I'm going to call off the wedding and move back home to my Mothers house. No woman is as understanding as her. I can set up my raid rig in my old room and call down for pizza rolls, chips and faygo pop.
If I get horny I'll just jam my hand down random ladies pants and say "look here you subhuman slut, I'm a lv50 Pally, so lets fuck!"
Why didn't I think of this?
Who needs a best friend/lover/life partner when you have Mommy to make it all better?
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Sounds like your problems in the bedroom are far beyond the scope of what you let out here. If you're looking for a mother figure and your mom is willing to let you move back in I say do it because to me it sounds like you have no understanding of women or your situation whatsoever. It may awkward and uncomfortable at first but I'm sure your mom will give you a handie every now and again when baby needs to fire off some knuckle children.
Responding further may be redundant since you decided to use my previous advice in a sarcastic manner but you asked for advice so here it is. The problem is you. If you have to do any kind of frivolous displays of affection just to get piece of your girl's flesh hole then you're almost certainly terrible at coitus. In her mind there's nothing worse than you mounting your fat diseased ridden body on top of her and shoving your uglies inside of her. So to alleviate her disdain for your cock and satisfy her vapid ego she needs you to pay for sex emotionally. In a real man's relationship the female doesn't require you to fulfill any kind of emotional needs prior to intercourse. She should want to have sex just as much as you. Though this sexual trade off should alone be mutually satisfying enough it sounds like she's taking full advantage of you by dangling her pig cunt in front of you and requiring you to ease her daddy issues before you gain entry. A real man would have cut the bitch loose and found another so some other wimp can stroll along and deal with that hot mess of emotional dog shit but no not you, you put a fuckin' ring on it. Which leads me to my next point...
Not only can you not satisfy a woman but you're also so afraid to upset what piece of shit relationship you already have going on that you turned to possibly the worst place on the internet for love advice. If you can't walk up to her and just ask to jam your cock in her mouth then you'll never survive a marriage. I'm going to guess you've been with her for less than a year and you're already engaged. Sounds like typical behavior of a spineless geek. It was almost certainly her idea as well but you're so desperate for sex you'll just deal with it.
Good luck with that bullshit and when I offered the advice of jamming your hand down her pants I meant it. Almost 99% of women want a man to just force themselves onto them but you'll never know since you're looking for advice from a bunch of troglodyte elitists rather than just confronting your problem head on.