I'm fairly hardcore in my choices of games, but I'll admit that permadeath is something I don't jibe well with. i did try it in Diablo 2 a few times with some hardcore characters. Lost a pally in the 50's and a couple other barbarians in the 20's and 30's and a few low levels. The experience kind of has instilled in my the notion that permadeath doesn't work. However, I'm willing to believe that permadeath might work somehow, I just haven't seen how. Maybe someday I will. Maybe we should use reality as a guide since it has it?
In the end, I think this life works because it's not THAT dangerous. If this life were too dangerous, none of us would live past the first few days. The fact that people have an average lifespan about 77 years of ago in the US means that death is avoidable somewhat. I think the same would have to be true in a game. Otherwise, there's no chance to appreciate the work you put into it. Why work if you lose it the next moment?
In games players die a lot. Much more than we die in RL! This is why games of this nature that do have permadeath should not cause you to lose anything substantial. This is a key point. If we lose anything substantial in a game and there's permadeath then the rate that we die has to be low enough to not chase us away. The reason we play isn't so much to die, it's to survive! But if all we're doing is dying then... no reason to play. But how do you make a game where players die a lot less and convince the players that it'll be fun?
Another thing I think is important is remembering players that have died. In RL we have graveyards and biographies and history books and family heirlooms and all sorts of things to remember the people in our history so they're not forgotten. If a game does not give the players a means to remember players that have died then it's going to make accepting their death harder, I think. Having a way to remember the deceased gives us a connection to them and dulls the pain and not having this as an option would make it harder.
Lastly, bigger goals! Things like society and family (children) and knowledge are built not in one generation or by one person but in countless generations and by many. When we live our life we invest in these things with others. We will lose our youth and our life, but the investments we put into society and other things will survive past the death of our body and thus they're a connection to the future. This is about not being too vain. Don't waste time putting effort into things that're just going to be lost when you die or get old.
RL has a lot to teach us if we want to put permadeath in games.
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