There are plenty of other candidates that are not conservative, but I had my fun with that.
Also, I would apologize for offending you with my juvenile locution, but I don't think you really understand why I chose to use such language. I am not, as you so eloquently put it, "waving the pom poms for the alternative," but this whole discussion is asinine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WXhO_-e3bM