Chapter X: Kuriak Gets Addicted to Pie
Most outsiders assume the iksar’s spartan lifestyle and tendency to avoid luxuries is something innate about their race. To most observers, the culinary options in Cabilis are bland and fairly homogenous—beetle bakes, cactus tarts, and other crude cuisine made from surrounding plant and animal life. A more bold and decadent iksar may opt for milk instead of water or bloodwater. In reality, much of this is a conscious philosophical choice that has been systematically propagated by iksar society, from generation to generation. Underneath the mental discipline, iksar have just as much fondness for luxuries as any other creature, and it is common knowledge that when an iksar is able to obtain coveted foreign luxury goods they sometimes avail themselves in secret.
-
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
-
-
This was the first time Kuriak had been stationed in Cabilis on a domestic assignment. Arch Duke Xog placed him in charge of requisitions for new iksar soldiers on behalf of the Crusaders of Greenmist. He was now working with other branches— administrator Finistere, a scaled mystic, helped manage Crusader funds and forge armor, while Trooper Sarkhan Thistlescale and Crusader Xoloth supplied additional services and materials.
In his first week on this assignment, Kuriak outfitted seven new recruits— three monks, two shadow knights, and two shamans. One day, while walking from his office in the Temple of Terror to the forge, he spotted something peculiar among the cargo at the docks.
-
-
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
-
Kuriak approached the objects and examined them closely. These were pies! Sweets! He had seen them during his stay in Neriak and among the other peoples of Antonica and Faydwer. What were they doing in Cabilis? Kuriak looked to see if anyone was nearby, and saw nobody besides Crusader Golia, who was walking toward Klok Wyga-- undoubtedly to be serviced behind her tent.
With nobody around, Kuriak picked up one of the pies and took a bite. Immediately he was overcome with a strange and staggeringly powerful euphoria. He sat down for a moment and reflected on what had just been one of the most pleasurable sensations in his entire life. He then quickly scooped the remaining treats into his pack and continued toward the forge. Behind him, Klok Wyga emerged from behind her tent and tossed an egg into the canal, followed by Crusader Golia who continued his patrol.
For the rest of the day Kuriak could hardly concentrate on his work. His mind kept wandering to the delicious morsels hidden in his pack. When his work for the day was finally complete, he left the Temple of Terror and discretely walked into some empty, ruined buildings along the canal. He glanced around before quickly removing the remaining cupcake and pie from his pack. His hands were shaking. He had been anticipating this all day. Like a ravenous beast, he stuffed the treats into his mouth and then slumped over on the ground in ecstasy. He had to get more.
The next afternoon, Kuriak returned to the docks to try and figure out who was responsible for the food he had found there. He ripped open containers, flinging building materials and pickled froglok parts all over the docks, finding nothing useful. Frustrated, he sat on a crate and looked around. No iksar would benefit from smuggling pies into Cabilis. The Haggle Baron monopolized most of the city’s food production and would have nothing to gain from citizens suddenly demanding exotic goods he couldn’t provide without a middleman. Kuriak could scarcely conceive of faction leaders being involved in such petty corruption. He sat up and was about to leave when he noticed the froglok parts scattered around from the crates he smashed.
Frogloks had a reputation for using excessive happiness and goodwill to undermine the strict discipline and focus that characterized iksar society. They had even been accused of running bake sales and charities. Kuriak rushed over to the slave lodgings near the Tink N Babble. Sure enough, he spotted a trio of jolly frogloks kneading dough and joyfully preparing pies.
-
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
-
-
Kuriak emerged from behind the wall and smashed the first froglok’s skull with his mace, killing him instantly. Nearby, the second froglok froze in terror. Kuriak began channeling the lifeforce from the horrified froglok; it trembled and convulsed for a moment before dropping limply to the ground, lifeless. Seeing his two comrades slaughtered before him, the third froglok charged Kuriak, swinging his little fists wildly. Kuriak swung his mace in a wide arc, striking the front of the froglok and shattering its body.
-
-
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
-
-
With the frogloks neutralized, Kuriak began frantically gathering all the pies, cupcakes, muffins, root beer, and cookies he could find. In a room nearby, he found a messy pile of cookbooks from all over the world, and a note stamped with the seal of occupied Sebilis. It read:
Operatives,
This collection of cookbooks should prove useful in your task. Make sure to leave the pies where the iksar will find them, but not where they’re unable to take them without their ilk noticing. As always, it is imperative that you destroy this message.
-Chef
Kuriak pocketed the note and looted the last of the cupcakes before skulking out of the ruined building and into an alley behind some shops. He sat for a moment, and it began to drizzle a little bit. The knight started pulling cupcakes and pies from his backpack and devouring them. He went into a blissful trance, pulling treats from his pack and eating them until he began to feel sick— then continued eating anyway. He fell backwards onto his back, a piece of pie in his hand. With the last of his willpower he tried to raise the pie to his mouth, but he fell into a stupor as the rain started to pour on his sleeping body.
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]