[Kainzo]

20th

FUNNY HOW THE WORLD WORKS SOMETIMES, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002.

hey like, my birthday is friday. well my brother and a few of
his friends were talking about what gift to give me, and my
brother mentioned a cof for my monk, or a fungi, whatever that
is
weel then my brother looks over at me playing eq and says 'hey
wait, lets get him a stripper.

OMG WTF?!?

now i KNOW wht a stripper is. i had to use one on the kicthen
walls last summer when my dad and me repainted part of the
house. it doesnt work very well and its not fun AT ALL

so im like 'dude WTF, why would i want a stripper??!!

and my brother and his friends are looking at me funny, and
they say 'umm, stripers are alot of fun, bro. youll understand
when your older'

how can this be?? what do they know that i dont??

well they go outside and do whatever it is college people do,
and i log off eq and decided to give this stripper thing
another chance

so i go down stairs to try to get my dads stripper and
practise with it a bit and see i was missing someting...but i
cant find it anywere

so i call my mom at work and im like 'mom have you seen dads
stripper'

and she says 'what?!'

and im like dad has a stripper, do you know were?'

and she starts breathing heavy and whatever.

so she says 'your father has a STRIPPER?!'

and im like 'chill mom, jezz, ya sometimes he keeps it in the
basement, but i cant find it anywhere'

and my mom is foaming at the mouth and yelling 'SHES BEEN OVER
TO THE HOUSE??!!??'

WTF?!

i never knew this was such a hot topic

and im like 'listen you didnt mind the stripper so much when
you got a new kitchen remodled'

and shes like 'I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT ANY STRIPPER' blah blah
blah... and 'THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE LAST SUMMER??!!'

so im like 'umm mom ill call ya later of something, jezz'

and shes like 'DONT YOU HANG UP ON...."

so im like 'WTF'

so i go downstairs again and finally find the stripper on the
toolbench

so i bring it up to my bedroom and plug it in and man i must
have gotten bigger and stronger since last summer cause that
striper worked reel good

so there i was peeling perfect stips of paint off my wall, and
im like 'hey this isnt so bad'

so then i decide to write my name, and i do it and im
thinking 'like, my brother was right this is fun haha'

well then the phone rings and its my grandfaather who lives
all the way overr in Britin Engalend.

so he says 'good afternoon son, and how are you?'

and i say 'hey gramps im great im playing with a striper in my
bedroom!'

and he says 'pardon me?'

and im like 'ya, im getting one for my birthday, so i decided
to practise with my dads stripper in my bedroom and i reely
like it'

and he cleared his throught and said 'oh dear'

and im like 'ya at first i didnt like it, but now its really
growing on me'

and he says 'so its growing, is it *ahem* *cough*? ummm, is
your mother there?'

and just then my mom burst through the bedroom door all red
faced and looked at me and looked at the wall and i dropped
the phone and i was thinking 'oh man i am screwed'

and shes like 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!'

and im like 'mom, im playing with dads stripper dont be mad'

and she stops and looks at me again and at the wall, and all
of the sudden she starts laughing and giggling and gave me a
big hug and a kiss on the forhead (ewww) and she wasnt mad
anymore (my dad sure was we he got hom, but thats a different
story)

anyway all the guys at skool think im reely cool now when i
tell them that my mom likes strippers and that im getting one
for my birthday. seems like they all want to come over friday
and play with it too, but i dont think ill let'em.

21st

EASY CASH AND SILLY GIRLS,. by Skater gnome

August 6, 2002


well, like last week i was playing eq at my friends house, and
his sister was like 'hey, quit that and come help me with
something'
so im like 'hey shutup for a sec im almost done beeting a
dervish!'

so she comes over and turns the computer off!!! and im
yelling 'mike!! mike!! your sisters a meanhead!!'

and she says 'mikes gone with my mom to get the dog back from
the vet thats why i need your help'

so im like 'dammit fine then, since i cant play eq anymore'

so we go upstairs and shes like 'help me move my bed to this
side of the room'

so im like 'this sucks'

and shes like 'your a whiner'

and i get mad and im like 'no im not, you are'

anyway, were moving the bed and we get it across the room, and
theres this quarter under the bed

and she picks it up and walks over too me and looks at me for
a sec then whispers in my ear 'i'll bet you this quarter that
i can kiss you without touching you'

so im like 'sweet! thats a free quarter!'

so i say 'you better pay up when you lose'

and she just smiles and gets closer and kisses me right on the
mouth!

then she took my hand and put the quarter in it, looked me in
the eyes and smiled and said 'looks like i lost'

and im like 'dam right, you did'

and she says 'so how was that?'

and i said 'good, you taste like jolly ranchers!'

and she laughed and said 'that would be my lip gloss'

and she said 'im going to go for a swim in our pool, wanna
help me get changed into my bathing suit?'

and i was like 'hell no i have a quarter to spend on some ice
cream, haha, woo-hoo!!'

then i ran out of the room, which took a little while, because
the door had gotten locked somehow.

anyway a bossy cheerleader and her money are easily parted i
guess