My EQ experience involved playing on a PvP server with small groups of friends, so we were always focused on getting the most out of duos and trios (because we literally couldn't group with other people, they would kill us).
Based on what you defined, I'd say your best bet is for Shadow Knight/Shaman.
Monk/Shaman is a lot of fun and very versatile as well, but going the Shadow Knight route gives you easy access to Snare and Fear. Snare is very important inside dungeons and gives you the ability to fear kite if needed outdoors which is great for exp.
Fear is important for breaking complete heals (in conjunction with the Shaman's Root, god damn you Old Seb fungus priests).
This combination has tanking, healing, slows, pulling (with FD), root mezzing, snares, fears and above average damage. If you are sure you can secure an Anklesmasher then Monk may be an option, but I wouldn't bet on that at first.
Plus, if other characters come along, you can typically add them to the SK/Shaman core just fine. DPS? No problem. Another healer? Let the Shaman DPS a little more, maybe the other healer can too. Enchanter or bard? Awesome too.
Mage chain petting is totally awesome but there are some dungeon situations it's going to struggle in due to its lack of versatility, and runners can be a pain in the ass even with Earth Root and mage nukes. It also restricts what the other person can play - they can't contribute as a melee to the fight really. A healer isn't going to help much with chain petting. A dps class is just going to rip aggro - they really have to be another Mage or just there to help pull and handle situations (monk, bard, enchanter).
If I was only focused on outdoor stuff and experience, I'd totally double DPS and fear kite.
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