[Tollen]

Part 2

Here comes some idiot Dark Elf running past me, running straight down
the road that is going to lead him to Felwithe. I scratch my head, and
being the nosey sort of Dwarf that I am...I send him a tell.

I tell the DE, "Wait"

DE tells me, "?"

I sigh into my ale as I take another longt draught off of it before
running up to him and saying, "Ye really don't wanna go messin around
over there with them High Elves' They look like pansies, but they aint."

The DE stands there with a vacant look on his face for a few minutes
before just running away. Do a /who on the DE and find out he's 31st
level. Ok, so maybe he knows what he's doing. I've seen Ogres in North
Freeport, after all. I go back to drinking my ale.

Out of curiosity, I send him another tell a few minutes later.

I tell the DE, "Not gettin' into any trouble over there are ye?"

DE tells me, "STFU !@#$% roleplayer"

I sigh into my ale again, finishing it off. Ah, tis the season of the
twit. I stand up and head towards Felwithe to resupply my ale.

Just as I get to the gates of the ugliest city on Norrath, what do I
find but a dead dark elf and a pair of guards snickering and cleaning
their weapons. Now this is priceless.

I do a /who on the poor soul and see he is in Burning Woods. Being the
sucker that I am, I feel compelled to rez the twit...after all, I am a
!@#$% roleplayer and I roleplay a !@#$% cleric...albeit a !@#$% grumpy
one.

I sit down to mem Reviviscene and while I am waiting for it to refresh I
send the DE a tell.

I tell the DE, "Would ye like a rez?"

DE tells me, "no i want a !@#$% sow dumbas i have to run south to get my
corpse back so dont be a dick and just sow me plz"

I look around for an ale but unfortunatly Brell hates me at this moment
in time, so I simply reply. "If I rez ya, ye wont need to run south to
yer body. You will appear at yer body. I am not standing near you, I am
standing near yer corpse."

DE tells me, "d00d rez plz"

As I sigh I look at my Holy Symbol of Brell and sigh "I'm gonna get a
stout named after me right?" and I tell the DE "Consent me so I can rez
ya" but I get no reply. No reply at all. So I say it again "Consent me
so I can rez ya"

DE tells me, "ok you can rez me"

I sit down again at this point. I have no ale and this is gonna take
awhile. I tell the DE, "Type /consent and my name" Being a smart dwarf I
tell the DE, "/consent Cleric_01" and say again "Just like that" before
he can make my head hurt more.

Sure enough, I recieve consent to drag his corpse. So I stand up and get
ready to drag the corpse when suddenly I am denied permission to drag
his corpse. I begin to think like him and I think "WTF?" So I tell the
DE, "No...just type it once. One more time. That's it. Dont type it
again" thinking that as soon as I get this over with, I can go buy more
ale and my head will stop hurting.

I recieve consent and I quickly drag it towards the zone since this is
the direction the guy was going anyway. I get the body by the zone and
cast Rez on it, comforted by the fact that I am one heal away from being
done with this guy.

The naked DE appears in front of me and I stand up to cast my final
spell of this exchange when he says to me "your that !@#%% roleplayer"
and then a moment later, almost as an afterthought "thx"

Compelled at this point, I ask "Why were you running into Felwithe when
you are KoS?"

DE says, "I was going to burned woods"

I say, "Burning Woods?"

DE says, "no dumbass i go there when i die i want to hunt burned woods"

I say, "Who told you to go hunting in Burned Woods, inside Felwithe?"

DE says, "some dick who wouldnt sow me" and then "will you sow me plz,
its for a CR"

I stand there drooling on myself for a moment, trying to catch up. I
havent had an ale in a good 20 minutes at this point, so I am starting
to see spots.

DE says, "dont be a dick just sow me before they move the zone again"

I stare at the lad and ask "Move Burned Woods? Again?"

DE says, "yea"

I finally snap and say, "They aren't going to move it again. Once they
moved it to Western Wastes, with all the snow, it stopped burning."

DE says, "i saw a burning tree"

I say, "Exactly my point. Now if they would only move Burning Woods
there it would stop too and people wouldn't go there when they die."

DE says, "can you sow me, its for CR"

I say, "sow doesnt work in IC until you get past EW and then it will
work for CR's only until you get to WW, then ask the first person you
see for sow there." I add as an afterthought "Sometimes they look like
flying blue things but they can sow"

DE says, "wtf???"

I say, "Allow me to use smaller words. You do not need a sow yet. Do
what I say and you'll get there right away." and then "Sit down and mem
the spell Bind Affinity"

DE is silent for a bit and finally says "its red" as he is standing up

I say, "I am glad they covered Colors this week. Now target yourself and
cast this spell. " He just stands there for a minute, so I add "it will
r0ck" and he begins to cast the spell, binding himself behind the guards
at Felwithe. I feel somewhat better already, maybe I dont need ale.

DE says, "it said bound" and begins to giggle

I say, "Now sit down and mem the spell Iceclad Gate. This will r0ck even
more."

DE says, "this one is green"

I say, "You're damn good at those colors man"

DE says, "thx"

When the DE stands up I say "This is going to take you to Iceclad Ocean.
It's an ocean so that's why they moved Burned Woods there....to put it
out."

DE says, "what about sow"

I say, "Remember that sow wont work until you are on a CR in WW. In fact
you actually run faster in snow if you set the RUN button to WALK. Do
that now."

DE says, "ok"

I say, "Now cast Iceclad Gate....the Green one. Remember to run straight
out of where you appear and dont stop swimming until you hit Burned
Woods."

DE begins to cast a spell and I zone in to get my ale....remembering
that the Ignore list cures most headaches that ale cant and feeling
somewhat better about going back to Sebilis.