Thread: Exp Bonus
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Old 04-13-2010, 04:32 AM
jilena jilena is offline
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So here we are, over at Rogean's house for dinner. He's planning on cookin up some burgers on the grill for everyone to eat. He's got tons of ground beef, all nice and seasoned up and formed into patties. Just as he's about to toss them on the grill an Erudite with red shoes and gold teeth runs up and knocks the tray of burgers out of Rogean's hands and into a giant pile of dogshit before disappearing off somewhere to rape halflings and such... There is no way the burgers can be salvaged and everyone is upset.

So Rogean being the nice guy that he is, says he's just gonna run up to the store and grab some more meat if everyone can just chill for a second. Most all of the guests are cool with this and place the blame solely on the Erudite with red shoes and gold teeth where it belongs. So Rogean takes off for the store to get more meat while the guests patiently chill out and talk about random topics; such as how having conversations with people not in your immediate vicinity is bullshit and should be outlawed.

When he gets to the store Rogean is like, "You know what? Everyone was being so nice about this, to hell with burgers, it's time for some serious business steak! I'll make the wait worth their while!". So while he didn't have to Rogean purchases a bunch of steaks and whistling happily returns home expecting his guests to be overjoyed.

He gets into the kitchen, busts out some herbs and spices and announces there will soon be steak for all. A few of the guests seem excited but for the most part the rest seem a bit sullen. Thinking it a bit weird but not knowing what to do Rogean heads back to the grill and starts cooking up the steaks.

Before the first steak can even safely be called "rare" the sullon guests line up and approach Rogean one by one... "I really wanted burgers...", "Seriously, I am not used to food this expensive my life will be ruined", "If god wanted me to eat steak he would have had Obama give me a better job than head fry cook at the local McDonalds...", "What were you thinking? You can't promise burgers then just hand out steak!", "Steak is not classic..."

Distraught and unsure what to do and hurt by how ungrateful his guests are Rogean ushers everyone back in the house, turns on the gas, waits a bit while the guests mill about still looking sullon, and then strikes a match blowing himself and everyone to bits.

The world was a better place thanks to Rogean's brave sacrifice.

Yay!