Ok, finished my parses.
No Shield:
1723 hits
71563 total damage
41.534 damage/hit
Shield in back:
1060 hits
44391 total damage
41.878 damage/hit
Shield in secondary:
1397 hits
58285 total damage
41.721 damage/hit
This is awesome, the most-hilarious scenario I outlined the other day is coming true. I'll do a little more data analysis later and give DSM the equal-hit-count analysis he wants, but might be tomorrow before I get to it.