[Reiwa]

With Israel Withdrawal, Hamas Finally Able To Conduct Public Executions In Peace

"Like slipping into a comfortable pair of old shoes," said spokesterrorist Amal Qadir. "It's been a long time since we were able to enjoy our normal daily activities, but thanks to Israel's withdrawal from Gaza, we can settle back into publicly executing people who refuse to comply with our demands. It's nice."

Though the ceasefire was still in its early stages, the mutual release of hostages and Israel's willingness to pull back from the war front have given Hamas at least some semblance of having their lives go back to normal. "It's refreshing to get a little taste of the way things used to be before the war," Qadir continued. "Just this morning, we got up, went for a brisk morning walk, and lined up a few insolent rebels and shot them in the head before sitting down for breakfast. It's wonderful to have peace."