Ffa/alpha on gems worth more than 20pp in non-guild groups just don't be greedy, I've grouped with and know many casters who can med and loot, a few ticks of mana here and there are not going to be game changers imo so that point is moot, ask for someone to loot for you if its that important to you. In regards to rares everyone opinion of what constitutes need is going to be different and likely to change depending on situations. My general rule of thumb is .... If you want it call for a roll, those who need it will roll those who don't will pass.. everyone NEEDS money.
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