I sympathize with this for sure, it's the notorious classic mechanics VS classic behavior dilemma. In some ways it's kind of a neat facet of mmo's generally, because the same game can change so much. Mario 2 is the same every time you play it. But I had the exact same experience back on live in 1999-2001; I'd log in and it felt way more like an adventure. I have a lot of fond memories of gruelling CR's that resulted in no net XP gain, but you felt so relieved to get that corpse back and you remembered the people who helped make it happen.
One remedy (somewhat) to this is static groups where you schedule sessions in specific zones.
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