^
Oh and to follow up on this idea: nothing matters until the first date is there are two categories of letdowns I have personally experienced and heard from bro’s on Reddit (since no one is dating here….) as experiencing:
1. “I was catfished” - Usually ends up being in a minor way, like the girl is 20lbs heavier or like 3-4 years older than her photos. “Catfish” is a broad term and not meaning the scammer version that happens only online
2. “Oh my God I feel so sad she ghosted, we seemed perfect for each other in our messages. She said she read the same books as me and even recognized the quote I used! We seemed like kindred spirits!” - Versions of this without the details I have heard a few times on Reddit. I even had some naive young bro’s try to claim they were bf/gf despite them only having messaged for a few weeks/months and not met in person (usually due to schedules or distance)
The way to protect against either of these letdowns is to adopt a mentality of nothing matters until the first date. Don’t get hung up on how pretty she is or how great the messaging has gone. Don’t build things up in your mind. If the first date goes great, and there’s chemistry, and she’s still in touch after, then feel free to get emotionally invested and start building things up. NOT PRIOR
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