[Secrets]

Do it. I don't care what anyone else says, I am not putting your hairy nutsack in my mouth. I will only put your clean shaven nutsack in my mouth.

I have a phobia of non-head hair. Head hair is fine, but the moment you try and kiss me with a fucking full-on beard is the day we stop talking.

Neckbeards are the worse, btw. Fucking, it's like having balls on your neck.

And I am not talking about clean shaven balls either.

tl;dr secrets is afraid of manliness