when he ventures out to wal-mart for another 65 pack of the dew and an econo-size box of hot pockets, he uses a scooter and rests his enormous, lop-sided ponch between his knees. on his sweaty, gasping journey to his car it swings left to right inside of his quadruple X stretch pants. he gets in his car and breathes a sigh of relief. trakanon hasn't spawned. he will make it back in time. perhaps enough time for a celebratory wank.
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